hi — thanks for the updates and reviews! :-) Jari
On 01 Jun 2016, at 01:26, Simon Pietro Romano <[email protected]> wrote: > Hello Francis, > > let us thank you for your comments! Please find below (preceded by > [spromano]) our answers. > >> Document: draft-ietf-clue-data-model-schema-14.txt >> Reviewer: Francis Dupont >> Review Date: 20160525 >> IETF LC End Date: 20160523 >> IESG Telechat date: 20160602 >> >> Summary: Ready with nits >> >> Major issues: none >> >> Minor issues: none >> >> Nits/editorial comments: >> - I first had a concern about the CLUE abbrev (abbrevs which are not >> "well known" according to the RFC Editor's list requires expansion >> at their first use in the Abstract and in the body, i.e., likely >> the introduction) but in fact CLUE is not an abbrev but a nickname. >> I strongly suggest to this (i.e., it is not really an abbrev) in >> the introduction (1 page 4) with an explicit reference to the >> framework document where are details. BTW IMHO: >> * you can leave the CLUE name in the title and the abstract >> * this recommendation should apply to all CLUE documents >> (at the exception of the framework one of course) > > [spromano] Done. We added the following sentence to the introduction: > > ************************************************************************ > For the benefit of the reader, the term 'CLUE' stands for > "ControLling mUltiple streams for tElepresence" and is the name of > the IETF working group in which this document, as well asother companion > documents has been developed. A thorough definition of the CLUE > framework can be found in <xref target="I-D.ietf-clue-framework”/> > > ************************************************************************ > >> >> - ToC page 3 and 16.3 page 48: use " vs ' around application/clue_info+xml >> (for consistency) >> > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 3 page 5: Scene.. -> Scene. > > [spromano] Done. > >> >> - 3 page 5: E.g. -> E.g., > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 3 page 6: e.g. -> e.g., > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 4 page 7 (people): (Section 11.29). -> (Section 11.29) >> (for consistency) > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 4 page 13 (multiple): sensitivyPattern* -> sensitivityPattern* > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 11.16 page 28: highly-dinamic -> highly-dynamic > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 11.27.3 page 39: simultanous -> simultaneous > > [spromano] Done. > >> - 15 page 46: captures , capture -> captures, capture > > [spromano] We did not find this one. > >> - 17 page 54 and 18 pages 61, 63 and 64 : Soundlevel -> SoundLevel > > [spromano] Done > >> - 30 page 70: AD -> Area Director > > [spromano] Done > >> - 31 pages 70 to 72: usually normative references are before informative >> references. I don't know if it is a strong requirement but if it is >> easy for you to swap 31.1 with 31.2 it will at least follow >> the "least astonishment" rule… > > [spromano] Done > >> Note I didn't check the xml stuff itself (there are automatic tools >> for this not-for-human task). > > [spromano] Right! > > Thanks 1k for your review, > > Simon and Roberta > > >> >> Regards >> >> [email protected] >> > _\\|//_ > ( O-O ) > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o00~~(_)~~00o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Simon Pietro Romano > Universita' di Napoli Federico II > Computer Engineering Department > Phone: +39 081 7683823 -- Fax: +39 081 7683816 > e-mail: [email protected] > > <<Molti mi dicono che lo scoraggiamento è l'alibi degli > idioti. Ci rifletto un istante; e mi scoraggio>>. Magritte. > oooO > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~( )~~~ Oooo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > \ ( ( ) > \_) ) / > (_/ > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
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