Hi, Thank you. Best, Meral
> -----Original Message----- > From: Sean Turner [mailto:s...@sn3rd.com] > Sent: Tuesday, March 21, 2017 3:12 PM > To: Meral Shirazipour <meral.shirazip...@ericsson.com> > Cc: draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview....@tools.ietf.org; gen-art@ietf.org > Subject: Re: Gen-ART Last Call review of draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18 > > > > On Mar 16, 2017, at 20:43, Meral Shirazipour > <meral.shirazip...@ericsson.com> wrote: > > > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the > IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last > call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > > > > > Document: draft-ietf-rtcweb-overview-18 > > Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour > > Review Date: 2017-03-16 > > IETF LC End Date: 2017-03-20 > > IESG Telechat date: 2017-04-13 > > > > > > Summary: > > This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have > comments. > > Harald and I (the shepherd) thank you for your review. > > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > Nits/editorial comments: > > -[Page 3] "an other hardware has"---->"and other hardware have” > fixed > > -[Page 4], the word "subprotocol" was not clear to me. Would it be possible > to add in parenthesis a few example for protocol and subprotocol? > Mostly talking about Websockets-related sub-protocols. XMPP and SIP are > examples noted later. > > -[Page 4], "an WebRTC"--->""a WebRTC” > fixed > > -[Page 7], "Interactive Connectivty"--->"Interactive Connectivity” > fixed > > -General: please spell out acronyms at first use > I caught a couple, but I’m sure I missed some. I figured I let some go like > “SDP Agent” in the terminology section because people can just as easily go > there. There’s also a lot in the RFC acronym list that don’t necessarily need > to be expanded. > > -General: the writing (or perhaps lack of punctuation) in this draft made it > hard to read. Please consider reviewing it especially if the draft is > intended as > Standards Track. > I’m going to leave this one to the RFC editor. Every time I try to make > something sound better they just do a better job. > > PR can be found here: > https://github.com/rtcweb-wg/rtcweb-overview/pull/13/ > > spt _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list Gen-art@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
