Thanks for the review. I agree and updated my ballot to point to your review comments as well!
> Am 11.09.2017 um 13:51 schrieb Dale Worley <[email protected]>: > > Reviewer: Dale Worley > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by > the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your > document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-bess-evpn-etree-13 > Reviewer: Dale R. Worley > Review Date: 2017-09-12 > IETF LC End Date: 2017-08-09 > IESG Telechat date: 2017-09-12 > > Summary: > > This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that > should be fixed before publication. > > There are a few matters that I would like to see amplified in the > Introduction to improve the exposition for readers who aren't familiar > with this area. > > 1. Relationship to RFC 7432. The Introduction now states "Since this > document specifies a solution based on [RFC7432], it requires the > readers to have the knowledge of [RFC7432] as prerequisite." This is > a significant improvement, but I still find this unsatisfyingly vague > regarding the relationship between the two documents. Is RFC 7432 > only background knowledge, or is this document an > extension/modification of RFC 7432, in which case, some parts of the > technique described in this document are actually defined in RFC 7432? > It seems a minor change of wording of this sentence could make this > clear. > > 2. Management: The document doesn't describe how the EVPN structure > will be set up (e.g., how endpoints are added or deleted from the > structure, what MPLS labels will be used), nor how choice of the many > technology alternatives will be communicated (e.g., 2.1 vs. 2.2 > vs. 2.3; approach A vs. approach B). I suspect that this is normal > for documents defining VPN techniques, but it seems peculiar for me, > as the areas I'm familiar with (SIP and data-center networking) try to > minimize the amount of "configuration" that needs to be done. It > might help the reader to list in the Introduction what aspects of > set-up are out of scope for the document, and conversely, what aspects > you've arranged for the control plane to handle automatically (which > are benefits of the technique). > > 3. Efficiency: The Abstract and the final paragraph of the > Introduction mention that this technique is more efficient than that > of RFC 7796, and of course that is a major motivation for this work. > But the nature of the improved efficiency is only detailed in section > 3.1. It would help the reader, I think, to mention the nature of the > improved efficiency in the Introduction, and perhaps to mention the > specific traffic patterns where this improved efficiency is > particularly effective. This helps the reader know when reading the > document will be particularly valuable. > > There are a few nits I noticed: > > Abstract > > solution based on RFC7432, BGP MPLS Based Ethernet VPN (EVPN), with > some extensions and how such a solution can offer a more efficient > implementation of these functions than that of RFC7796, E-Tree > Support in Virtual Private LAN Service (VPLS). This document makes > > In the same way as you quote the title of RFC 76387, it would be more > readable if you quoted the titles of the other two RFCs. > > 1 Introduction > > Attachment Circuits (AC) (e.g., an Ethernet tag but may also be > represented by a MAC address) is labeled as either a Root or a Leaf > > I assume "tag" means 802.1q VLAN tag, but it would be helpful to spell > that out. > > 1.2 Terminology > > Ethernet Segment Identifier (ESI): A unique non-zero identifier that > identifies an Ethernet segment is called an 'Ethernet Segment > Identifier'. > > What universe is the ESI is unique over? > > [END] > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > [email protected] > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
