Hi.
Some remaining comments from the earlier gen-art reviews that perhaps
ought to be addressed plus some additional introduced nits. Apologies
for the long delay - I failed to notice that -16 had been published and
gen-art reviewers don't get new version notifications.
Minor Issues:
Sources of imported models: It would be useful to list the RFCs/I-Ds
that define the models that are imported as a new section before the
YANG definitions. Currently draft-ietf-netmod-schema-mount,
draft-ietf-rtgwg-ni-model and draft-ietf-rtgwg-routing-types that are
under development are not mentioned; the existing standards of RFC 6021
and RFC 7223 should also be referenced (7223 is). They should all be
normative. [The references are present but they need to be linked to
the module names and listed separately from the YANG specification.]
Nits:
s1, bullet 1: s/networks/network/
s1, end of para 7: s/OAM protcols/OAM protocols/
s1, last para: s/Connectionless Communicatioms/connectionless
communications/
s2.2, TP definition: s/diagnostic test/diagnostic tests/
s3, para 10 (top of page 6): s/test- point/test-point/
s3, last para: The term 'proactive' has not yet been defined. A forward
reference to s3.2 is needed (e.g., "proactive (see Section 3.2)").
s3.2, last para: s/be extended to specific OAM technology/is extended to
cover a specific OAM technology/
s3.3, para 2:
OLD:
OAM neighboring test points are referred to a list of neighboring
test points in adjacent layers up and down the stack for the same
interface that are related to the current test point.
NEW:
Each OAM test point may have an associated list of neighboring
test points in other layers up and down the protocol stack for the same
interface and are therefore related to the current test point.
ENDS
ss3.6 and 3.7:
The use of single quotes and associated spacing in these sections is not
correct,
and there are some other language corrections.
The corrected version is suggested here:
NEW:
3.6. Path Discovery Data
This is a generic grouping for the path discovery data model that can be
retrieved by any data retrieval methods including RPC operations.
Path discovery data output from methods, includes 'src-test-point'
container, 'dst-test-point' container, 'sequence-number'leaf, 'hop-
cnt' leaf, session statistics of various kinds, path verification and
path trace related information. Path discovery includes data to be
retrieved on a 'per-hop' basis via a list of 'path-trace-info-
list' items which includes information such as 'timestamp' grouping,
'ingress-intf-name', 'egress-intf-name' and 'app-meta-data'. The
path discovery data model is made generic enough to allow different
methods of data retrieval. None of the fields are made mandatory for
that reason. Note that a set of retrieval methods are defined in
[I-D.ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-methods].
3.7. Continuity Check Data
This is a generic grouping for the continuity check data model that can
be retrieved by any data retrieval methods including RPC operations.
Continuity check data output from methods, includes 'src-test-
point' container, 'dst-test-point' container, 'sequence-number' leaf,
'hop-cnt' leaf and session statistics of various kinds. The
continuity check data model is made generic enough to allow different
methods of data retrieval. None of the fields are made mandatory for
that reason. Noted that a set of retrieval methods are defined in
[I-D.ietf-lime-yang-connectionless-oam-methods].
ENDS
s5: The import items should have a description indicating the modules from
which they come
including the relevant RFC numbers. Note this is in addition to a section in
the
introductory text summarisng what modules are imported (as noted in minor
issues).
s5, "container path=trace-info" description: s/like/such as/
s5. "grouping timestamp":
It would be good to add references (including section numbers) to the
description
showing where the various timestamps are defined in the IEE PTP doc and the NTP
RFC.
s5, "container timestamp-64bit": I believe there is a typo in the description:
OLD:
"Only applies when Truncated NTP or 64bit NTP Timestamp.";
NEW:
"Only applies when Truncated PTP or 64bit NTP Timestamp.";
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