Robert, thanks for your review. Huaimo, thanks for your responses. I think with 
the final change agreed between Huaimo and IANA, Section 8 should be good to 
go. I entered a No Objection ballot.

Alissa

> On Mar 1, 2018, at 10:43 AM, Robert Sparks <rjspa...@nostrum.com> wrote:
> 
> I'm fine with the way you handled all my editorial suggestions.
> 
> I'm still uncomfortable with what you are asking IANA to do. I think at this 
> point you need to have a conversation with your AD.
> 
> As -14 is written, you are trying to put a value in a part of the class 
> names, class numbers, and class types registry at a codepoint that requires 
> "Standards Action" (Range 0-119). Maybe I'm misremembering, but I don't 
> _think_ you can do that with an Experimental document.
> 
> The language you have for the subregistry that you are _NOT_ asking IANA to 
> create at this time still implies that it exists as a registry (with 
> discussions of initial values and future assignment policies). Instead, I 
> think you need something like "During this experiment, the types of the new 
> subobjects are defined by the following table in this document. If the 
> concept proceeds to the standards track, these will move to an IANA 
> maintained registry" or some similar language.
> 
> Again, get your ADs advice on what to do next here.
> 
> RjS
> 
> 
> On 2/28/18 8:18 PM, Huaimo Chen wrote:
>> Hi Robert,
>> 
>>     Thank you very much for your time and valuable comments.
>>     Answers to them are inline below with prefix [HC].
>>     Would you mind reviewing them to see if they address the issues?
>> 
>> Best Regards,
>> Huaimo
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Robert Sparks [mailto:rjspa...@nostrum.com]
>> Sent: Wednesday, February 21, 2018 12:20 PM
>> To: gen-art@ietf.org
>> Cc: i...@ietf.org; t...@ietf.org; 
>> draft-ietf-teas-rsvp-ingress-protection....@ietf.org
>> Subject: Genart last call review of 
>> draft-ietf-teas-rsvp-ingress-protection-13
>> 
>> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
>> Review result: Not Ready
>> 
>> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review 
>> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for 
>> the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call 
>> comments.
>> 
>> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>> 
>> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>> 
>> Document: draft-ietf-teas-rsvp-ingress-protection-13
>> Reviewer: Robert Sparks
>> Review Date: 2018-02-21
>> IETF LC End Date: 2018-03-01
>> IESG Telechat date: 2018-03-08
>> 
>>  Summary: Not Ready for publication as an Experimental RFC
>> 
>> I found this document hard to read. I encourage a significant editorial pass 
>> that focuses on presenting the core ideas early, and simplifies the language 
>> used throughout the document.
>> [HC] We have presented the core ideas early and simplify the language used in
>> the document accordingly.
>> 
>> 
>> Major Issues:
>> 
>> 1) The IANA considerations section is unclear. You ask IANA to put something 
>> in "Class Names, Class Numbers, and Class Types" at 
>> <http://www.iana.org/assignments/rsvp-te-parameters/rsvp-te-parameters.xhtml>.
>> But there is no registry with that title on that page. (Nor is there a 
>> registry with a structure matching the row you are asking IANA to add.) Did 
>> you mean the registry at 
>> <https://www.iana.org/assignments/rsvp-parameters/rsvp-parameters.xhtml#rsvp-parameters-4>?
>> [HC] Yes. You are right. We have corrected it in the document.
>> 
>> 
>> If so, the number you are suggesting is in a "Reserved for Private Use" 
>> range.
>> If that _was_ your target, the structure of your requested record does not 
>> match the structure of the existing registry. Please clarify.
>> [HC] We are considering a new C-Type under the existing Protection Class.
>> The related text has be updated accordingly as below:
>> Upon approval of this document, IANA is requested to assign a new
>> Class Type or C-Type under Class Number 37 and Class Name PROTECTION
>> located at <https://www.iana.org/assignments/rsvp-parameters/
>> rsvpparameters.xhtml#rsvp-parameters-39>, as follows:
>> 
>> Value Description                   Reference
>> ----- -----------                   ---------
>>   4    Type 4 INGRESS_PROTECTION   This Document
>> 
>> 
>> The instructions to IANA for what to do when this document moves to the 
>> standards track are inappropriate. You can say that you anticipate that the 
>> future document that moves the idea to the standard track expects to create 
>> a new registry under rsvp-te-parameters, but this document cannot instruct 
>> IANA to do so.
>> [HC] We have revised the text according to your suggestion as below:
>> It is anticipated that the future document that moves the idea to the
>> standard track expects IANA to create and maintain a new registry under
>> PROTECTION object class, Class Number 37, C-Type 4. Initial values for
>> the registry are given below. The future assignments are to be made through
>> IETF Review.
>> 
>> 
>> 2) "After one approach is selected, the document SHOULD become proposed 
>> standard." is an innappropriate use of SHOULD, and doesn't correctly reflect 
>> the process that would be followed in any case. You could, instead, say 
>> "After one approach is selected, a document revising the ideas here to 
>> reflect that selection and any other items learned from the experiment is 
>> expected to be submitted for publication on the standards track."
>> [HC] We have updated the text accordingly as below:
>> After one approach is selected, the document will be revised
>> to reflect that selection and any other items learned from
>> the experiment. The revised document is expected to be submitted
>> for publication on the standards track.
>> 
>> 
>> 3) It is unclear until you get to section 5 (11 pages into the document) 
>> which elements provide and which elements consume the information in the 
>> proposed new object. The document is inconsistent about which messages the 
>> object can/should appear in. Moving the overview of behavior earlier in the 
>> document would help.
>> Simplifying the description of that behavior will help more. Making the 
>> other sections consistent with what that overview describes is necessary.
>> [HC] We have corrected the inconsistency and updated the document according 
>> to
>> your suggestions.
>> 
>> 
>> Minor Issues:
>> 
>> a) It is not clear what the difference between source-detect and 
>> backup-source-detect really are (I agree with the comments in the rtgdir 
>> review on these sections). In section 2.1, where you say "reliably detect", 
>> do you really mean "verify"? The detection has already been done by the 
>> source.
>> [HC] Yes. We have used "verify" instead of "reliably detect" and updated the
>> text accordingly. We have added more details on source-detect and 
>> backup-source-detect as below:
>> Note that one of the differences between Source-Detect and Backup-
>> Source-Detect is: in the former, the backup ingress verifies the
>> failure of the primary ingress slowly such as in seconds; in the
>> latter, the backup ingress detects the failure fast such as in a few
>> or tens of milliseconds.
>> 
>> 
>> b) Section 4.1 is particularly hard to extract roles and responsibilities 
>> from.
>> Calling out early which elements will use the object and in which messages 
>> will clarify the definition of behavior. Perhaps you should more carefully 
>> separate the definition of the object from normative statements about how 
>> the object gets used.
>> [HC] We have added a brief description on the roles of the object as below:
>>    The primary ingress of a primary LSP sends the
>>    backup ingress this object in a PATH message.  In this case, the
>>    object contains the information needed to set up ingress protection.
>>    The information includes:
>> 
>>    o  Backup ingress IP address indicating the backup ingress,
>> 
>>    o  Traffic Descriptor describing the traffic that the primary LSP
>>       transports, this traffic is imported into the backup LSP(s) on the
>>       backup ingress when the primary ingress fails,
>> 
>>    o  Label and Routes indicating the first hops of the primary LSP,
>>       each of which is paired with its label, and
>> 
>>    o  Desire options on ingress protection such as P2MP option
>>       indicating a desire to use a backup P2MP LSP to protect the
>>       primary ingress of a primary P2MP LSP.
>> 
>>    The backup ingress sends the primary ingress this object in a RESV
>>    message.  In this case, the object contains the information about the
>>    status on the ingress protection.
>> 
>> 
>> c) The document is vague about source behavior, though it requires behaviors 
>> of the source when it detects failure, and when a previously failed primary 
>> becomes available again. A clearer description of what you are requiring of 
>> the source, and what you are intentionally leaving unspecified would help.
>> [HC] We have added the following text and updated the document accordingly.
>> When the previously failed primary ingress of a primary LSP becomes available
>> again and the primary LSP is recovered from its primary ingress, the source
>> may switches the traffic to the primary ingress from the backup ingress. A
>> operator may control the traffic switch through using a command on the
>> source node after seeing that the primary LSP has recovered.
>> 
>> 
>> d) The MUST in the first bullet of section 5.2 is unclear. As written it's 
>> an incorrect use of 2119. Are you trying to say that the primary ingress 
>> must know the IP address of the backup it wants to be used before it can use 
>> the INGRESS_PROTECTION object, or are you trying to say that if primary 
>> ingress doesn't know the address of the backup, it MUST NOT include a backup 
>> ingress address sub-object?
>> [HC] It is the former. We have updated the text accordingly as below:
>>     o Backup Ingress Address: The primary ingress MUST know the IP
>>       address of the backup ingress it wants to be used before it can
>>       use the INGRESS_PROTECTION object.
>> 
>> 
>> Nits and editorial comments:
>> 
>> FRR is used in the title, but does not appear in the abstract. (The abstract 
>> could say more about what the document is about.)
>> [HC] We have added more as follows:
>> It extends the fast-reroute (FRR) protection for transit nodes
>> of an LSP to the ingress node of the LSP.
>> 
>> 
>> The first sentence of the second paragraph of the Introduction is complex.
>> Please break it apart into several sentences.
>> [HC] We have rephrased it as below:
>> To protect against the failure of the (primary) ingress node of a
>> primary end to end P2MP (or P2P) TE LSP, a typical existing solution
>> is to set up a secondary backup end to end P2MP (or P2P) TE LSP.
>> The backup LSP is from a backup ingress node to backup egress nodes (or 
>> node).
>> The backup ingress node is different from the primary ingress node.
>> The backup egress nodes (or node) are (or is) different from the primary
>> egress nodes (or node) of the primary LSP.
>> 
>> 
>> In the introduction, please delete ", which are briefed as follows". The 
>> introduction to the issues can simply start "There are a number of issues in 
>> this solution:".
>> [HC] We have revised the text according to your suggestion.
>> 
>> 
>> At the second bullet in this list of issues, I suggest "configuration" 
>> instead of "configurations".
>> [HC] We have changed it to "configuration".
>> 
>> 
>> At the third bullet in this list of issues, what does "the BFD down" mean?
>> [HC] We have updated the text as below:
>> Any failure on the path of the BFD from an egress node
>> to an ingress node may cause the BFD to indicate the failure
>> of the ingress node.
>> 
>> 
>> In section 3, I suggest replacing ", we call it is off-path" with "it is 
>> off-path". Please make a similar change to the sentence about on-path. In 
>> the third sentence, why do you say "configured or computed"? What does 
>> "computed"
>> mean in this context?
>> [HC] We have revised the related text in the document regarding to off-path 
>> and
>> on-path. "configured or computed" says that a backup ingress is "configured"
>> statically or "computed" automatically.
>> "A backup ingress is computed" means
>> that some software suggests a backup ingress automatically for the given
>> information about the primary LSP.
>> 
>> 
>> In the introduction to section 4, say _what_ the new object is backwards 
>> compatible with.
>> [HC] We have removed "It is backward compatible."
>> 
>> 
>> In section 4.1, it's unclear what "keeps it" means. Please try reworking 
>> this sentence without using "it".
>> [HC] "keeps it" means records it (this flag).
>> We have rephrased this sentence accordingly.
>> 
>> 
>> It was not clear in section 4.1.1 that a backup would use the presence of 
>> the backup ingress IPv4 (or 6) sub-objects to discover that the primary 
>> wanted it to behave as a backup (as described in section 5.3).
>> [HC] We have added some explanations.
>> A node X is configured as a backup ingress on the primary ingress of an LSP.
>> The node X does not know whether it is a backup ingress for any primary 
>> ingress
>> of any LSP until the node X receives a PATH message with backup ingress
>> sub-object for an LSP.
>> 
>> 
>> In the 3rd paragraph of section 5.1.1, do you mean "efficient processing" 
>> where you say "efficient process"?
>> [HC] Yes. We have revised it.
>> 
>> 
>> The last paragraph of 5.1.1 does not help the document. "simple" compared to 
>> what? "less" compared to what? I suggest deleting the paragraph, or 
>> significantly expanding on the discussion.
>> [HC] We have deleted it.
>> 
>> 
>> At the first sentence of the last paragraph of 5.1.2, did you mean "required"
>> instead of "requires"?
>> [HC] Yes. We have changed it to required.
>> 
>> 
>> At the second paragraph of 5.3, what are "administrative-colors"?
>> [HC] They are administrative-groups. We have changed it to 
>> administrative-groups.
>> 
>> 
> 
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