> On Jun 29, 2022, at 11:57 AM, Giuseppe Fioccola
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Dear Russ,
> Thank you for your review.
> I will revise the draft to address your comments.
> Please see my reply inline tagged as [GF].
>
> Best Regards,
>
> Giuseppe
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Russ Housley via Datatracker <[email protected]>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 29, 2022 4:04 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Cc: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected]
> Subject: Genart last call review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
>
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review result: Ready with Nits
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review
> Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the
> IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call
> comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
> <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
> Reviewer: Russ Housley
> Review Date: 2022-06-29
> IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21
> IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14
>
>
> Summary: Ready with Nits
>
>
> Major Concerns: None
>
>
> Minor Concerns:
>
> Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..."
> I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me a few minutes to
> figure that out. Please clarify.
>
> [GF]: Sure, I will clarify that A is introduced in RFC8321bis and possibly
> refer to the Figure.
>
>
> Section 9 says:
>
> Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in
> different deployments:
>
> This is followed by three labeled paragraphs. Can this sentence be expanded
> to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow?
>
> [GF]: Yes, I will highlight that three possibilities are possible.
>
>
> Nits:
>
> Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/
>
> [GF]: Ok
>
> Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/
>
> [GF]: Ok
All of the above look fine.
>
> Section 5.1 says:
>
> The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering
> algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering
> algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation
> [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM].
>
> I cannot understand is sentence.
>
> [GF]: [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM] describes different algorithms (iterative and
> recursive) for cluster partition. In this document we only describe the
> iterative approach since it executes steps in iterations. While the recursive
> algorithm is detailed in the paper. I will reword this paragraph to make it
> clearer.
This is a grammar concern. "The algorithm described above network is ..." does
not parse.
Russ
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