Hi Lucas, We've taken your remarks into account: removed the superfluos document overview, added some clarifying text on the use of the ACMEDelegationMethod object and clarified the CP and CA terms.
Thank you, Regards, Frederic Orange Restricted ________________________________ De : Lucas Pardue via Datatracker <[email protected]> Envoyé : mardi 24 octobre 2023 23:45 À : [email protected] <[email protected]> Cc : [email protected] <[email protected]>; [email protected] <[email protected]>; [email protected] <[email protected]> Objet : Genart last call review of draft-ietf-cdni-delegation-acme-03 Reviewer: Lucas Pardue Review result: Ready I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <https://eur03.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwiki.ietf.org%2Fen%2Fgroup%2Fgen%2FGenArtFAQ&data=05%7C01%7Cfrederic.fieau%40orange.com%7C8f4cb8e16a9942baf96c08dbd4da8806%7C90c7a20af34b40bfbc48b9253b6f5d20%7C0%7C0%7C638337807307080544%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000%7C%7C%7C&sdata=5ZncX%2BIAambO8tiUIKvO%2Bel%2Fy4cnFi8WdL%2FFn3Bdkng%3D&reserved=0<https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>>. Document: draft-ietf-cdni-delegation-acme-?? Reviewer: Lucas Pardue Review Date: 2023-10-24 IETF LC End Date: 2023-10-18 IESG Telechat date: 2023-10-26 Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Standard Track RFC. It defines a new object for CDNI to aid delegation of credentials. The draft is succint and clear. Major issues: None Minor issues: None Nits/editorial comments: Section 1 A document overview for such a short document seems a little superfluos, especially since section 1.1, 4 and 5 are standard section types. Section 2 It appears that you provide an example of the new ACMEDelegationMethod object without acknowledging so in the prose. For someone unfamiliar with CDNI, its not clear what is already defined and what is new. Perhaps consider mentioning the ACMEDelegationMethod object, with a forward reference to the object definition. Section 3 Figure 1 - the use of SVG is a welcome touch. However, it uses the terms "CP" and "CA" and those aren't spelled out. I understand these might be imported terms but the document helpfully spells out dCDN and uCDN; it would be nice to do it for CP and CA too ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration, Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci. This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law; they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation. If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments. As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified. Thank you.
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