Hi Mallory,
while we think that "more structure" to such compact secconsec does not
increases the readability, we decided to follow your advice and
transformed the paragraphs into sections. We hope that approach
addresses your issue.
Viele Grüße,
Henk
On 08.04.26 13:33, Mallory Knodel via Datatracker wrote:
Document: draft-ietf-rats-network-device-subscription
Title: Attestation Event Stream Subscription
Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review result: Almost Ready
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Document: draft-ietf-rats-network-device-subscription-11
Reviewer: Mallory Knodel
Review Date: 2026-04-07
IETF LC End Date: 2026-04-13
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Summary: The specification in this document provides a continuous feed of
attestation data using YANG as the data structure so a TPM verifier can assess
device trustworthiness over time.
Major issues:
* None.
Minor issues:
* Security considerations could easily be made more readable. I would split
this into three paragraphs: Security considerations related to YANG, to RATS
and any new considerations introduced by bringing them together in this
specification (seems like none, but fine to say this). Then under the YANG
related considerations it would be simple to state the title of the RFC and if
it isn't obvious to give the reader a very brief indication of why that
section of the document is relevant to security for this specification. * FWIW
I think the privacy section is mostly fine as it is, perhaps maybe also
expanding a first sentence to give the title of the RFC and list quickly any
specific privacy concerns.
Nits/editorial comments:
* Spell out TPM in the abstract, because it's first use.
* Figure 1: "| |<------------------ subscribe(nonce, TpmName, ?PcrSelecion)
| |", ?PcrSelection looks like a typo. * Section 5: "adds a nonce to as a
subscription parameters" has a couple of ways to resolve the grammar.
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