My comments in BOLD (sorry) below..

--------------------------------------

Ryan McCain
Northrop Grumman Corporation
Linux System Administrator 3
email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Phone: 225.219.0556
Fax: 225.219.0540

Registered Linux User #364609
>>> Terry Stockdale <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 05/23/05 9:04 PM >>>
Ryan,
Here are a few comments:

CONTENT
-------------
Cover -- This is your first impression for the audience.  Show them OSS 
means BUSINESS, not OSS means CUTESY.
Take off the art work, or at least substitute the Apache feather for the 
Gnu -- I have 3 points:  (1)   the Gnu is too cutesy, (2) get your audience 
attentive immediately to content, not your decoration (you might consider 
dropping both logos), and (3)  you're talking about REAL WORKABLE 
SOLUTIONS.  You should use logos that are a concrete examples that you can 
use to get your presentation ROLLING, not just as decoration.  You can lead 
into your presentation with -- "these are the logos two of the most famous 
Open Source projects:  the Apache Webserver, which runs ___% of the Web, 
and Linux, which you've all heard so much about." AND THEN ROLL INTO THE 
PRESENTATION.

----------

VERY GOOD POINT.. MY INTENTION IS TO KEEP THE PRESENTATION AS LIGHT AS POSSIBLE 
CONSIDERING WHO THE AUDIENCE IS.  THE OX MIGHT BE OVER THE TOP.  

----------
Check spelling of "Uniux" on page 3.

------------

AT THIS TIME, I'M FOCUSED ON GETTING CONTENT IN THERE.  I'LL BE FOCUSING ON 
MAKING IT PRETTY (SPELLCHECKING, LINE SPACING, FONTS, ETC) TOMMOROW.

---
Check Title vs chart labels on page 20 of 31 -- "Linux leads.." doesn't 
match the graph -- it shows Windows leading and Linux INCREASING

------

ANOTHER PERSON POINTED THAT OUT..  I AM TRYING TO GET ACROSS THAT LINUX IS 
INCREASING AT A FASTER RATE THAT MICROSOFT.  DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TRASH THIS 
SLIDE OR JUST RE-WORD THE TITLE?

-----------



Do something on Page 7 other than just "Services,services, services".  Open 
Source needs a definition that they can put their hands around, even if it 
is a little fuzzy.  Look up Eric Raymond's definition or RMS's.  Quote 
something and move on, don't get bogged down on this page because you hit a 
lot of other comments on it later.

-----------

THE "SERVICES, SERVICES, SERVICES" WAS A NOTE TO MYSELF.  ALL OF OUR REVENUE 
COMES FROM SERVICES SO I NEED TO HAMMER THAT HOME W/ SOME DATA.

-----

Be ready for the question about "paid licensing for use of disclosed source 
code" -- "is that  the same as the buzz word Open Source?"   Think about 
how you want to respond to that one.

--------------
I'LL ADD THAT TO MY NOTES.. THANKS
----

STYLE
---------
See if you can pick a single font and size -- or change size if you must, 
but not font.  Example, I like page 15 (OSS Myths) far more than page 14 
(Benefits of OSS continued).

see if you can use uniform content size / uniform borders on the 
pages.  Pick one size/layout and stay with it.

Use the same type of bullet points from page to page.

Some pages use bullets for their main points while others don't.  Either do 
or do not.

--------------

IM GOING TO FOCUS ON STYLE TOMMOROW. RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO GET THE DATA IN. 
:)

-----------------
LUCK
-----------


I "REALLY" APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK.   HOPEFULLY I CAN DO MY PART AND MAKE A 
DENT BY SPREADING OSS.

----------------




Good luck on Thursday!

Terry
--
Terry Stockdale -- Baton Rouge, LA
My website: http://www.terrystockdale.com
My blog:   http://www.TheNextWindow.com

At 08:09 PM 5/23/2005, you wrote:
>If I ever need input on this, it's now.  I have started adding a few 
>graphics here and there.  I would estimate I'm 80% finished.
>
>The presentation will be given Thursday morning in D.C.
>
>http://www.jordanmayer.net/oss/OpenSource_NG.ppt
>
>Thanks,
>
>--------------------------------------
>
>Ryan McCain
>Northrop Grumman Corporation
>Linux System Administrator 3
>email: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>Phone: 225.219.0556
>Fax: 225.219.0540
>
>Registered Linux User #364609

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