A DISCLAIMER up front.
'Tis the season of politics. Whoever forwarded these to me failed to include any
featuring GWB as the laughing stock, but I would love to hear them if anyone
has a GWB set. Leno is pretty much an equal opportunity roaster of politicians.
------
Leno on Kerry
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry.
You can understand why - with two "TWO POSITIONS" on every issue, he has twice
as many people mad at him."
We make jokes about it but the truth is this presidential election really
offers us a choice of two well-informed opposing positions on every issue. OK,
they BOTH belong to John Kerry, but they're still there."
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt
it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls
someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.
Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a
picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the dad from
The Munsters.
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed
to John Kerry who just marries them.
They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history
to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once
raised $500 million with two words: ''I do."
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit.
His plan: He's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.
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Enjoy
--
/\/\
( CR ) Collins Richey
\/\/ Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight
to tell the difference.
_______________________________________________
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