Or write the server and clients yourself.  You could use the gaim source
code as a guide...

On Tue, 2005-03-29 at 20:08 -0800, Peter Gordon wrote:
> Grant wrote:
> > Does anyone know of an instant messaging client that can be set up to
> > allow communication with only one other specific account?
> 
> Hmm. Perhaps you could hack Gaim/Jabber to automagically connect to a single 
> server (and not let the user choose otherwise) and have that server only 
> allow 
> connections between the two specific client IPs or something similar?
> 
> I don't know for certain. I'm just trying to throw some ideas out there...

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