Irish Press release: Late last night, two notorious climbers, code named Mittens and Missy, scaled the bars of their cell and escaped from a poorly latched door. Leaving a trail of evidence behind them, they followed a circuitous route to the open spaces and jumbled terrain of the state of Living/Storage Room. Having planned the time of their escape to perfection, it wasn't until mid-morning of the following day that their absence was noticed. Growing overly bold in the success of their escapade, Mittens became careless and was spotted by the State's expert bounty hunter. She was soon taken into custody.
However, the wily Missy is still at large. Having flaunted her prowess this afternoon by making a brief foray from her hiding place, she has since gone to ground. Even hunger and thirst have not flushed her out to investigate the tempting treats placed as bait near the ladder to the trap so cunningly set for her today. Law enforcement officers intend to intensify search efforts tomorrow, even re- arranging the landscape, if necessary. There has also been talk of bringing in closely monitered sniffer cats. All borders have been closed since the first sighting, significantly narrowing the search area. Local health officials have been voicing concern over the effects of the prisoner not only coping with deprivation in a totally different environment, but also enduring long term separation from her partner in crime. Questions are being asked about whether or not special measures should be taken before reintroducing the miscreant to her cell mate when she is eventually captured. Professional opinions will be welcomed by the prison authorities, and can be sent to the above e-mail address. All the departments involved in this operation have given assurances that there will be a satisfactory outcome to these exciting events. Correspondent Laura O'Brien, reporting from Dublin.
