AGREEMENT AND LIMITED WARRANTY This email is fully warranted against physical defects and poor workmanship in its stationery. If this email is physically damaged, return it to me and I will replace or repair it at my discretion. No other warranty of any kind is made, neither express nor implied including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of Merchantability, Suitability for Purpose, and Validity of Currency. Any and all risk concerning the actual value of this email is assumed by you, the recipient. Even though I or my agents may have assured you of its content, either verbally or in written communication, we may have had our fingers crossed, so don't come whimpering back to me if it bounces.
this email, if any, represented by this instrument remains my property. You are licensed to use it, however you are not allowed to copy the original email except for your personal records, nor are you permitted to give this email itself to anyone else. Neither may you allow any other person to use this email. Remember, you may have it in your possession, but it still belongs to me, and I'm going to call on you from time to time just to keep tabs on it. This agreement supersedes all others between us, including the equally ridiculous one you have undoubtedly pasted on the back of your web-page, or concealed somewhere in your underwear. The location of your version of this or any other covenant between us is irrelevant to its inapplicability here. Only this one pertains, and I really mean it. In fact, this one supersedes yours even though yours may say that it supersedes mine. Why, even if yours said it would supersede mine even if mine said it would supersede yours even if yours said... Oh well. You get the idea. You may decline this agreement by returning the unanswered email to me within twenty-four hours. If you attempt to send it, however, you have implicitly accepted these terms. You may also implicitly accept these terms by: 1) Calling my ISP to inquire about the status of my account; 2) Thanking me at the conclusion of our business transaction; 3) Going to bed at the end of this or any other day; or 4) Using any toilet or rest room. Please be advised that I have adopted a strict rubber-glue policy. Any nasty thing that your lawyers say bounces off of me and sticks back to you. Be further advised that you agree to pay my legal expenses if I decide to sue you for violating this agreement or for any other reason that might strike my fancy. Violations will be punishable by fine, imprisonment, death, any two of the above, or all three. > I understand that it's more and more common to see this in larger > events, but that feels wrong... I find this kind of policy > condescending. Why do you think it feels wrong? Because it goes against the ethos of the GNU project, and it is hypocritical, and void of meaning. Can you say what _exactly_ is deemed "offensive" or "harassing"? I cannot, hence I cannot accept this policy -- it is fully and utterly nonsense, nonsense for the personal convictions of the organiser(s) to decide, and not only that, but you have no means of appelation. The policy prohibits citations from our own web pages and projects! Can I cite the sex(6) man page (part of Emacs)? What about the virgin Emacs? What if one uses the verb abdicate (to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach), what about the noun circumvent (an opening in the front of boxer shorts, worn by Jewish men)? How about the the Intel Rectium microprocessor that is designed to actually fit the appropriate body cavity for "Computing Anywhere, Anytime"? Best regards, Alfred Llamas -- a 'generously proportioned' male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect) seeking a vendor of high quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed from the end of next month.
