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http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20101117-303673/Hospital-voodoo
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PINOY KASI
Pinoy Kasi : Hospital voodoo

By Michael Tan
Columnist
Philippine Daily Inquirer

Posted date: November 17, 2010

IT WAS around 9 p.m. Saturday night, and I was dosing off, exhausted from a
very long day that included visits to a relative confined in the hospital.
The phone rang and I jumped, worried it might be from the hospital. It was a
woman asking to speak to me. When I asked who she was she answered, “I’m the
secretary of Dr. Lim. He would like to talk to you.” “Dr. Lim” (I’ve changed
the name for this column) was our attending physician. “What’s wrong?” I
asked myself.

Dr. Lim came to the phone and began to talk rapidly in English, apologizing
for calling so late, saying he had just seen my relative and had talked with
the special nurse. He asked when I was going to visit the relative again.
When I said the next morning, he shifted to Filipino, “Uy tamang-tama
(That’s just right), that’s when I make my rounds... Mike, I need a special
favor.”

He was now back in English mode and explained that he was coordinating an
international conference and was so busy making arrangements for airport
transfers. I was beginning to get irritated that he was giving me so many
details, especially about his secretary having to go home to Laguna and then
coming back to Manila.

I was on full alert, with suspicions creeping in. Dr. Lim rarely talks to me
in English. Wait, this guy doesn’t even sound like Dr. Lim, but then did I
get the secretary right. Maybe it’s one of the other doctors. And maybe it
is Dr. Lim; the caller does have a deep voice like Dr. Lim.

Finally, he got to the point. He needed P14,000 in cash to give to some
conference delegates arriving that night. “That’s about $300, di ba? I have
dollars and euros. I can return it to you tomorrow when we meet. Sorry ha,
nakakahiya.”

Again, questions popped in my head, like, “Why couldn’t he just go to an
ATM?” Doctors are rich, and P14,000 is loose change for them so they don’t
need to borrow.

But there was no way I could interrupt this Dr. Lim, who was now asking if I
had a driver. I answered yes and he quickly took over again, asking me to
send the driver to SM City in San Marcelino, because his secretary lived in
a dorm in the area. “Just seal the envelope. Let me talk to your driver so I
can give him instructions.”

“Oh,” I was finally able to say something, “my driver has gone home.”

Dr. Lim persisted, “Can you find someone? This is really urgent.”

Ever the helpful fool, I said I would see if I could ask a friend to drive.
Dr. Lim was clearly ecstatic. He apologized again but continued to press to
have the money delivered soonest.

*‘Dugo-dugo,’ ‘budol-budol’*

As I put down the phone, I was aghast, realizing I had just nearly fallen
victim to a hybrid “dugo-dugo” or “budol-budol” con artist. The phone rang
again and I jumped. It was our private nurse. She was apologetic, almost
tearful, as she told me a woman had called her in the hospital room earlier,
identifying herself as Dr. Lim’s secretary and that she urgently needed to
talk to the closest relative of the patient. It was the nurse who had given
my home number to “Dr. Lim” but she, too, had wondered after the call if she
had been conned.

Only recently I had written about dugo-dugo gangs preying on household
helpers, convincing them to bring money to some meeting point for their
employer, supposedly because of an accident or some other kind of emergency.
I also referred to budol-budol gangs, criminals who operate outside the
home, approaching the elderly or other gullible-looking people with some
get-rich-quick scheme.

This hospital-based scam is more insidious, actually an older scam now
combined with dugo-dugo and budol-budol. In the earlier version, the con
artist would call the hospital room and tell the relatives or watchers that
Dr. So-and-So’s representative was at the lobby and needed to collect his or
her professional fees. Hospitals now routinely warn patients’ families about
this scam so the criminals had to concoct new schemes.

I can see now why people claim they were “hypnotized” in dugo-dugo or
budol-budol and now, this hospital voodoo. The ones who plan these scams, as
well as the con artists themselves who do the talking, clearly understand
human psychology. The English used by “Dr. Lim” was quite good. He was
clearly someone who had been to college. Probably not Ateneo, I thought
afterwards about the accent, but more probably a UP graduate or student.
(Joke, joke!)

Like voodoo practitioners, these criminals know who are vulnerable.
Hospitals are full of people whose abilities to judge and make decisions are
compromised by stress. Moreover, posing as a doctor puts them in an
authority position. Our special nurse gave out my home number simply because
the attending physician’s name was invoked. In turn, I entertained the call
because that doctor’s name was used.

Even more importantly, by posing as a doctor, or, more specifically the
doctor on whom your loved ones’ lives are so dependent, is a way of saying:
“I talk, you listen. Don’t ask questions.”

Talk they do, racing non-stop and bombarding you with all kinds of
extraneous information. Your brain gallops full speed too, vainly trying to
keep up. The question, “P14,000 is about $300, right?” was clever,
threatening to short-circuit the brain’s circuitry. (“Hey, that’s only P40
to a dollar, way below the exchange rate.”)

*Mesmerized*

Psychologists will tell you there’s no such thing as being hypnotized
without your consent. The criminals in malls and hospitals know this. If you
do get mesmerized, it is through the information overload. (Sadly, marketing
people and politicians and preachers know this too. They bombard you with
words, and promises, repeated over and over again to trip your brain.)

Ultimately, it’s our own brain, not the con artists, that betrays us.

I felt so assaulted as I put down the phone. The feeling then gave way to
anger at how such gangs could use hospital patients and their relatives.

The next day, I got more details from nurses and other hospital staff, who
confirmed there had indeed been a few similar phone calls with similar
“plots” (i.e., bring the money to SM City) and realized the scams probably
involved hospital staff, who had access to the names of attending
physicians.

My feelings of vulnerability grew, almost bordering on paranoia. I warned
the household helpers and driver that some dugo-dugo gang had our home
number and to be extra cautious. They knew the term and began to share
stories they’d heard, again with stories of hypnotism and spells and charms,
which I’m realizing now can make people even more vulnerable if they’re
approached by these gangs.

But then I remind myself that in voodoo and witchcraft, it’s the fear that
comes with believing in voodoo and witchcraft that is so dangerous, even
deadly. We shouldn’t be cowed by low life; instead, let’s get smart and
train our brains not to betray us.

Email: [email protected]
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