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Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2000 19:30:00 PST
Subject: Second Grader Offers IPO - Makes $30 Million In First Day Of Trading
Silicon Valley, CA -
Second grader Timmy Watson announced an initial public offering for
his web page titled "I Love My Kitty" on the NASDAQ stock exchange
yesterday.
I Love My Kitty LLC (KTTY) made over thirty-million in the first
day of trading. The stock rocketed from an initial two dollars a share
to a whopping four-hundred-and-sixty dollars a share in the first two
hours of trading.
I Love My Kitty LLC is based on Timmy's web page of the same name
which explains to everyone how much he loves his kitty Mittens.
Investors are hoping to build, "A radical new E-commerce site based on
"I Love My Kitty". According to Saul Schlepstein, an expert in
e-business, "ILMK could very well be the next Amazon.com! I mean this
page has everything! Cute kids! Cats! We think it will soon be one of
the strongest e-commerce sites on the net! It's amazing! I think I
just wet my pants!"
Not everyone is excited about the new company though. Timmy's older
sister Tanya is reported to be creating her own site entitled "I Love My
Barbie!" Many investors are holding off on buying ILMK stock in case
ILMB turns out to be better positioned in the market than ILMK. Daniel
Codpiece of the investment firm of Morton Morton And Ted noted that,
"Tanya is in the FOURTH grade. Making us suspect that she will come out
with a much more marketable product."
In response to investors fears that ILMK will be eclipsed by his
sister's page, Timmy announced that, "Tanya is a big poopy head!" He
also informed the press that she seems to have a particularly virulent
strain of "cooties".
