"but then AF is saying that marital happiness is
contingent on perpetual separation.  AF wasn't married herself; perhaps
she cast a cold eye on the rest of us."

Well, indeed. I put about as much faith in a lifelong spinster's ideas
about marriage as I do in EBD's about childrearing. You really do have to
have been there. And in my, perhaps jaundiced but certainly experienced
view (married 26 years), marriage is very rarely one long experience of
bliss. Failure to understand this rather basic, to me, fact would seem to
explain the very high divorce rate. Of course there is the fact that most
of AFs couples don;t get divorced, even if they don;t seem to live in a
perpetual state of bliss. Which seems reasonable. There is marital
happiness and marital happiness, and marital happiness after
20/30/whatever years is not the same as marital happiness after 6 months.

And I don;t feel sorry for Edwin at all. He is getting what he wants -
regular sex, his kids looked after, intelligent conversation. Seems a
reasonable bargain to me.



Fen Crosbie

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