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> > Subject: Aviation Wisdom > > > Basic Flying Rules: > > 1. Try to stay in the middle of the air. > > 2. Do not go near the edges of it. > > 3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, > > buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more > > difficult to fly there. > > > > The three most common expressions in aviation are, "Why is it doing > > that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh Shit". > > > > Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. > > > > The three most useless things in the world to a pilot: > > - Sky above you > > - Runway behind you > > - Fuel on the ground > > > > Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot > > pregnant. > > > > Airspeed, altitude or brains: two are always needed to successfully > > complete the flight. > > > > A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a > > row is prevarication. > > > > I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous. > > > > We have a perfect record in aviation: we never left one up there! > > > > If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a > > helicopter - and unsafe. > > > > Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the > > purpose of storing dead batteries. > > > > Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to > > pee. > > > > Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a > > person on the ground incapable of understanding it. > > > > What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If > > a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies. > > > > If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to. > > > > Notable Quotes: > > > > When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. > > - Robert Livingston, "Flying The Aeronca" > > > > Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be > > held on a sunny day. - Layton A. Bennett > > > > A superior pilot is one who uses his superior judgement to keep > > himself out of situations where he has to demonstrate his superior > > airmanship. > > > > Never fly the 'A' model of anything. - Ed Thompson > > > > When a prang seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, > > cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible. - > > Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II. > > > > The Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill > > you.--Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot > > > > A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to > > its maximum. - Jon McBride, astronaut > > > > If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the > > crash as possible. - Bob Hoover > > > > If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; Ride the > > bastard down. - Ernest K. Gann, advice from the 'old pelican' > > > > Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I Am > > 80,000 Feet and Climbing. - Sign over the entrance to the SR-71 > > operating location on Kadena > > > > You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. - Paul F > > Crickmore > > > > Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. - Richard > > Herman, Jr., 'Firebreak' > > > > There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime. - Sign > > over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970. (It was still > > there in 1972.) > > > > The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and > > good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few > > opportunities in life to experience all three at the same time. - > > Unknown --- Joe Czaplicki --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] --- EarthLink: The #1 provider of the Real Internet. ==^================================================================ This email was sent to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?aVxiLm.aVzvvT Or send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================
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