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Thank you Paul,
I like what you've said there, "it felt like it would have been an
insult to offer assistance".
You see, I use a wheelchair almost exclusively. (Post Polio) And I've
been trying to convince a friend of mine that when people insist on
helping, when help is not necessary, it is an insult. I'll give you an
example.
A few years ago I had stopped at the bank to cash my pay check. I got
out of my car, opened the trunk, got out my chair and was rolling
towards the door. All of a sudden a woman comes running from across the
parking lot and opens the door for me.
Now...had she been going into the bank also that would have not been a
problem. (It would have been simple courtesy.) But she wasn't. She ran
all that way only to do for me, what I can, and have been doing for
myself for nearly 50 years.
She had gotten to the door before I did. So she had no idea if I need
help or not. But she ASSUMED I did. An assumption she really doesn't
have a right to make.
Here's another one. (But a little funnier.)
Last week I stopped by the hospital pharmacy to refill a prescription.
Again, I got out of the car and was rolling to the door. A woman, who
had walked past me while I was getting the chair out of my trunk, was
waiting, at the hospital door. Why? To hold it open for me.
What's so funny about that you ask? Do you know of any hospital, left in
this country, that does not have automatic doors? You know, that kind
that open, and stay open, when they sense motion.
Think about it. This woman sees a crippled person and her mind
automatically goes into the "I have to help" mode. In spite of the fact
that the door is there to save me, and her, the trouble.
She had already passed though the door. She knew it would open by
itself. And stay open until she had finished passing through. So what
was she thinking? That this was some kind of a cruel door...and would
shut on unsuspecting cripples?
I just gave her that "You really aren't too bright." look and went
inside.
So here's the rule. If it looks like a disabled person could use some
help, there is no harm in asking. But by all means, don't just jump in
and do it for them. That's assuming too much. (And you may even wind up
doing something other than what they intended.) And if after having
asked they say "No.", for heavens sake, don't insist on helping anyway.
Crippled folk ain't stoopid. :-) And just because it might look like we
are struggling, doesn't mean we actually are. Sometimes we have to find
"alternate" ways of doing things. And I think the brain will tend to
think that, because it "isn't the normal way of doing it", he/she must
be having trouble. When, in fact, sometimes our way may actually prove
to be easier. (Probably not often, but it may happen.)
Anyway, that's enough soap-box for this week. Back to the fun.
Mike Dean
-----Original Message-----
It reminded me of my most memorable Ercoupe experience. It was
about 1989 and I was in my Colt flying back from Brainerd, MN. and got
caught in a bad storm and had to put down in Jackson, MN. Shortly after
getting the plane into a hangar for the night another plane flew in and
it was an Ercoupe. What was impressive was the war vet that got out of
the plane. He had no legs and only one arm (one real arm and one
prosthetic). Lifted himself up out of the seat and onto the wing,
reached back into the baggage for his wheelchair and set it up on the
ground and slid into it. He was so adept at doing it all it felt like
it would have been an insult to offer assistance. We did help get the
plane all taken care of for himand we had a nice chat about him and his
plane. I'll take that memory to my grave.
Paul Hamer
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