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      Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6
  miles!"
      Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital
  watches!"

      One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the
  tower to hold short of the runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8
  landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some
  quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What
a 
cute
  little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
      Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
  back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts.  Another landing
  like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."

      There's a story about the military pilot calling for a  priority
landing
  because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Air
  Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a
B-52 
that
  had one engine shut down. "Ah", the fighter pilot remarked, " the
dreaded
  seven-engine approach".

      A student became lost during a solo cross-country  flight. While
  attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What  was your
last
  known position?"
      Student: "When I was number one for takeoff".


      Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC10 abruptly stopped, turned around
and
  returned to the gate.  After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A 
concerned
  passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot
was
  bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight 
attendant,"  
  and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

      "Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45  degrees.." 
      "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
      "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
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