I heard these two songs on Dr. Demento last night. I thought some of you might enjoy reading the lyrics. Larry -------- Reinstalling Windows Author: Les Barker http://www.compulink.co.uk/~ackroyd/ (Tune of "When I'm Cleaning Windows") I bought a new computer, It cost two thousand pound; But every time I switch it on I keeps on falling down. I used to think it was my friend Now it drives me round the bend; You'd be surprised the time I spend Reinstalling Windows. I switch it on; what is this? Something wrong with config.sys; This isn't my idea of bliss, Reinstalling Windows. I want to share my printers and I want to share my files, I want to share my anger 'cos It drives me bloomin' wild. Load disk four, oh what fun! It says it helps you get things done; Every day now everyone's Reinstalling Windows. Load disk ten; it will say All you do is plug and play Why do I spend every day Reinstalling Windows? It can't find my printer It can't locate my mouse; The other day it told me that They were in some other house. Still unplugged, still unplayed, E-mailed God in search of aid He's far too busy I'm afraid Reinstalling Windows. Up at dawn for one more try; Does it work? Can pigs fly? How do I expect to die? Reinstalling Windows. It doesn't like my modem and Detests all CD-ROMs; let's see if the setup wizard Recognises bombs. I used to like a drink or three; No time now, don't call for me; I'm going to spend eternity Reinstalling Windows. -------- Paul Anderson MICROSOFT WORD Words by Paul Anderson, c1994 Music by Cat Stevens, c1970 Unichappel Music "Microsoft Word" is a trademark of Microsoft Corp. Now that I've lost everything to you, I was gonna start Chapter Two And in fact I was thinking of leaving, Or doing some reading. But if I'm gonna leave, I take good care To save it all to disk, so it's not fair That I got that little bomb and a system error. Chorus: God damn I hate Microsoft Word It's hard to get by when it messes with your life. You stink on ice, Microsoft Word And I'd love to dismember you with a knife, yeah. I didn't get as many pages as I want So I tried to use a bigger font And then I played around with the margins And did some enlarging. But when I tried to save, I got a frowny face Telling me the memory was out of space And that seven hours of typing had been erased. Repeat chorus Lalala la la, lala la la, lalala la la, lala la la, La la lalala la, lala la la, goddamn computer! I was gonna leave, go get a beer, But my whole paper just disappeared. So I guess I'll turn in one that I wrote last year. Repeat chorus ("And now there's 5.0, it's slower!") Repeat chorus ("One more time! For Bill Gates!") Repeat chorus ("Wha... system error? This can't be. I was almost done. It was perfect! You stupid computer!") -------- ********************************************************** To unsubscribe from this list, send mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the following text in the *body* (*not* the subject line) of the letter: unsubscribe gnhlug **********************************************************
