www.oherald.com dated June 11, 2002

TUESDAY TUNES

Humpty-dumpty had a big fall

IF ANYTHING, THE defeat of Churchill Alemao in Benaulim can best be
described as 'Humpty Dumpty had a big fall' of the nursery rhymes fame.

Indeed, the defeat of the Benaulim strongman, could be bracketed among some
of the highlights of the May 30 poll. Of course, notwithstanding the similar
rejection of Somnath (Bhau) Zuwarkar, Mauvin Godinho and the good old
Ramakant (Bhai) Khalap.

Die-hard Churchill supporters meanwhile aren't too amused with the
'giant-killing' instincts of their leader's nemesis - Francisco (Mickky)
Pacheco. Ditto with the supporters of Somnath Zuwarkar, who are now more
afraid rather than disgusted on the mere mention of their opponent -
Atanasio (Babush) Monserrate.

Some Churchill-Zuwarkar supporters are losing no opportunity in taking
pot-shots at the Mickky-Monserrate duo. Say they: "Goa's legislative
assembly is now full of mice and mangoes!"


Super cop awards

GOOD WORK NEVER goes unnoticed. Senior police officers attached to several
police stations in the state, have been short-listed for various awards
recently instituted to recognise the good work done during the days leading
to the elections and D-day itself (sic) under the guidance, supervision and
auspices of their superiors.

THE NOSTRADAMUS AWARD
Canacona PS for superlative forecasts: The southern most police station in
the South Goa district rose to the task, when it was expected of them most.
Several persons travelling in a jeep, including the son of outgoing Canacona
MLA (and also a war enthusiast himself) were arrested for possessing swords,
cricket stumps, stones, sticks and whatever. The police thus prevented not
only a prospective law and order situation, but also succeeded in nipping in
the bud a nippy Congressman.

THE HERCULES AWARD
Panjim PS for impressive weightlifting: Literally lifting two former
councillors and two sons of former ministers on election day and during the
run-up is no mean feat. While one of the councillors brought to the police
station, was arrested for distributing money (this councillor was last seen
distributing frozen broiler chickens his constituents, who later got him
elected as councillor) to voters within the 100 metres area of a polling
booth), why they got the other councillor to the police station, is just a
matter of pot-luck... (in other words, worth a wild guess).

THE MAHATMA GANDHI AWARD
Mapusa PS for swimming against the tide: The Mapusa police literally and
figuratively defied a statewide trend and a khaki maxim, by registering an
offence worthy of a non cognisable offence as a cognisable offence.

It is understandably disputable, that swords were used in this particular
offence, where Goa Pradesh Congress Committee general secretary Subhash
Narvekar and his supporters have been charged for attempt to murder by the
vigilant police. This award is also shared by the Porvorim and the Bicholim
police for registering cognisable offences against assaulters of BJP
candidate Dr Suresh Amonkar's wife and the Porvorim police, who took offence
to soft drinks being distributed by Congress supporters to parched voters.

THE GOOD SAMARITAN AWARD
PANJIM PS for doing a good turn Well, not all the liftings done by the
Panjim town police were carried through to their logical conclusion. Well
one of the goondas, who was 'picked' and brought to the police station was
also allowed an honorable exit, especially after the appearance of a very
very senior BJP man. B...abba, thats quite true.

THE LORD NELSON AWARD
All police officers and personnel: To all those innumerable unsung heroes of
these elections, who so delectably turned a Nelson's eye to everything that
was demanded, despite the exigencies of duty. The likely recipients of this
award are so large, that the department has a good mind to institute the
THREE CHIMPS AWARD, so that all these may be inconspicuously felicitated.
Three chimps for notably ignoring and almost absolving one political sphere
of crimes and any other ills.

THE LORD BRAHMA AWARD
Once again, this award goes to a large number of the Goa police personnel
for having successfully adopted to this new faith in fervour. Who can deny,
that the posture of Lord Brahma astride a lotus is indeed very appealing!


Banner banter

WISH ALL POLITICAL parties would emulate this initiative taken by the
Communist Party of India... With the elections over, the party's Siolim
candidate Christopher Fonseca sent some of his workers around the Siolim
constituency, to collect party banners, which had been put up at several
places for campaigning purposes.

Indeed a very useful measure, considering the fact, that the campaigning
paraphernalia results in defacement and a nuisance in most cases.

Anyway, the job must not have been too tough for Fonseca's supporters, the
banners were as few as the votes he received.


Mickky's style

THERE WAS ONE particular cop who gave the giant-killing Mickky hell.

And, how could you blame that cop? After all, they are taught to be servants
of their masters, not future masters!

But Mickky has his own style of getting back. Normally, politicians would
have had this cop transferred, to some 'Siberian' posting, or else suspended
on some pre-text or the other. Not with Mickky though. Instead, the new kid
in Goa's cabinet, had the cop posted on his personal security staff!

Why? Simply because the cop has to dutifully 'salaam' the minister every
time he gets in and out of his car or home and office.

New kids, new ways indeed!


Cops and sops

ONCE A CRIMINAL always a criminal. Or so you would think. But not for the
Goa police, especially after the kind of results these polls have thrown up.
A legislator who was hauled to a North Goa police station for ahem... quite
a colourful nature of crimes, was recently visited by a cop who had put the
skids on him, when he was not an MLA. The visit, had something to do with
the procurement of a kind of 'adhesive' required to hold onto a 'plum'
posting, an adjective which would apply to most city police stations. Cops
will be cops.


S P Dhure Haazir ho...

POLICE CONSTABLE S P Dhure... No, there is nothing unusual about the name.
There appears to be nothing unusual about his service either, which has been
for about 20 odd years. But this police constable, recently 'promoted' to
post of head constable seems to be at the receiving end of some 'amazingly
unusual' treatment by the police department.

For several years the PC's name was mysteriously missing from the police
constable's seniority list. After the issue was raised at a sampark sabha
with the higher ups, they promised to look into the issue.

Here is where the fun starts. The issue was reported well in the press,
thanks to the open forum at the sampark sabha. Well, then the unprecedented
happened. The day his promotion order was issued, the police press relations
officer even issued a specially drafted hand-out on his promotion, something
which never happened earlier, in case of the promotion of a lower rung
functionary.

It is when it comes to the promotion order, that the unusuality rears it's
head again. It states, that the promotion is 'purely on ad hoc basis' and
that it would not be considered for seniority purposes. To add insult to
injury, the order that follows on the same day promotes 23 other PCs to HCs
on a regular basis.

But then, this need not be considered as the barometer of dimwittedness.
Ever heard of dead men being transferred...


Tailpiece
Mexico World Cup '86
God was blue & white
Goa assembly polls 2002
God turned khaki


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