I am posting below a very nicely written description of a business
trip to India by a Californian named G. G. Carl. It is always
enlightening to learn about the experiences of others. This
description was posted on the internet forum of the James Randi
Educational Foundation. I post it here with the author's permission.

Cheers,

Santosh

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GANESHA SAVED MY LIFE!

by

G. G. Carl

In December of 1996, I spent 2 weeks in India on a business trip. I
had never been to India before and was completely unprepared for the
Indian experience. It's a love-it-or-hate-it kind of place:
unimaginable poverty everywhere, but yet an enterprising people many
of whom have come to grips with their existence.

I was traveling with a sponsor, a Gujarati fellow who was very helpful
as well as unintentionally humorous. I visited 5 cities in my 2-week
stay: Dehli, Hyderabad, Chennai (Madras), Bangalore, Mumbai, then back
to Dehli to get my flight home.

My laptop started acting up almost as soon as I had landed. For
whatever reason it just wouldn't boot up properly until the 9th or
10th attempt. At each one of the demonstrations I gave at various
client sites, I'd have to boot and reboot while the customer waited,
sometimes impatiently while my sponsor tried to keep them busy. Once
booted correctly, everything was OK, except at Nuclear Power Company
of India, Ltd. where the power went out!! I'll get to that in a minute.

When I finally got to Mumbai, I was just about ready to throw the
laptop away and go home. As I was complaining about it to my sponsor,
the cab driver, having overheard me, pointed to a small figurine on
the dashboard and asked,

"Do you know Ganesha?"

"Of course," my sponsor said with a look of eureka on his face. "Why
didn't I think of that?"

So both of them explained to me that Ganesha in the position displayed
in the figurine was "the remover of obstacles and protector of
travelers." I was to find out later that Ganesha had 27 or so
positions, each one for a different purpose (one of them helps a woman
get through her "dirty time"!!).

"So what does it all mean," ask I.

What it all meant was first going to the cab driver's cousin's store
and getting a figurine of my own, which we did. I looked at it as
getting a souvenir of my trip, but my sponsor and cab driver had a
deeper plan. It was not enough merely to possess the figurine, it had
to be blessed by the Ganesha priest.

Handily enough, a suitable temple was close by. I'm sure it has an
official name, but I called it "Ganesha Central." It was a rather
large religous-looking building in a business district. A little
incongruous, I thought at first, but actually quite apropos because in
India, religion and business seem to go hand-in-hand more often than not.

I got out of the cab and started heading towards the temple. I could
have cared less about the religious nonsense, but India had quickly
become endearing to me as a huge adventure, an assault to every one of
my senses, and I was eager to experience as much as I could in my
limited time there.

"Not so fast," my sponsor stopped me. "First, you gotta have the
proper offering."

He gestured towards a store, doubless owned by a relative of his or
the cab driver. The "offering" consisted of a metal tray of candies
and flowers strung together for 100 rp. In addition to the figurine,
this adventure had cost me almost 1000 rp. so far, but was about to go
up even more. I'm sure I'd paid way too much for everything, but I
looked at it as the cost of entertainment. Up until then I'd been
having a good time.

"Now you have to take your shoes off. You have to be barefoot inside
the temple," my sponsor pointed to my shoes.

If you've ever been to India, you know how much fear was in my heart
at the sound of those words. When I was a boy, my mother told me to
never go outside without shoes. As an incentive she told me that there
were little worms that would drill holes in the bottoms of my feet and
infect me. I really didn't buy mother's argument, but if there was
anywhere in the world with drill worms, it was India, specifically the
street outside Ganesha Central. Let's just say that streets in India
are in dire need of cleaning.

Knowing that I was probably going to die a horrible, painful drill
worm death, I took off my shoes and socks and got into the entry queue
with the throng that had just started arriving. The temple was going
to open in a few minutes and soon the street was packed with thousands
of people waiting for their blessings.

As I was waiting, I was beset by a little girl who kept insistently
tapping me on the arm holding up a few sad looking flowers.

I told her politely about a thousand times, "Sorry, sweetheart, I
already have my offerings."

But the girl was very persistent. Finally, my sponsor spoke to her in
Hindi, telling her to give me the flowers, and if Ganesha's offerings
are accepted, we'd pay her on the way out, otherwise no money. The
girl handed me the flowers and walked away.

Shortly, the temple doors opened and the pressing throng carried us
inside. If I had changed my mind about going in, it was too late now.

As we got into the inner sanctum, many people dropped to the floor in
full prostration at the sight of the big golden Ganesha statue lurking
within. Many people had already dabbed a bit of orange paint between
their eyes, and as we passed by a little bucket on a stand, my sponsor
dabbed some and indicated that I should do the same.

Feeling completely ridiculous, but still keen for adventure and
sporting the orange dab, I entered the temple center holding my
ganesha figurine in one hand and offerings in the other.

As I approached the "altar," the first thing I noticed was just how
big the Ganesha statue was. Son of a bitch, I muttered under my
breath, that's a big-ass chunk of gold.

"Is that gold"?, I asked.

"Solid gold," my sponsor replied.

I remeber wondering how much more good the gold would have been for
buying food, clothing, and medicine for all the poor deluded now
drooling and throwing themselves on the floor.

The next thing I noticed was that the whole scene looked like a cross
between a Baskin-Robbins store and a gaming table in Las Vegas. The
priests were standing behind this counter wearing an orange uniform
with those funny hats that made them look like an ice-cream vendor. In
the counter were slots with those little push thingies in them where
your money gets deposited at the Las Vegas tables.

My sponsor told me to hand the offerings and figurine to one of the
priests, then hand him a 100 rp. note. The priest had obviously done
this a million times. He deftly juggled the stuff in one hand while
quite dextrously depositing the money in the slot. Turning away from
me he started his hand-waving and incantations.

The ceremony consisted of the priest tossing half of my offerings onto
a growing heap of offerings already piled up at the base of the
statue. The he dabbed some orange between Ganesha figurine's eyes and
turned around to face me.

He somehow had this expectant look on his face, which, clever fellow
that I am, interpreted that another donation of slot money was needed
to complete the blessing. I was right. No sooner had the money quickly
been deposited into the slot than he dumped the remaining offerings
and figurine onto the counter and turned to the next person for service.

My host suggested that I should eat some of the candy. Certain that I
would immediatly contract some unpronouncable illness, I ate one of
the candies. It didn't taste too bad, but still. This was towards the
end of my trip and I didn't want to spend the whole of my 20-hour
flight back home with my head in an airplane toilet bowl. Luckily, I
got away with it, as I did al my other eating episodes in India.

Properly blessed, we marched outside, only to be accosted by not only
the little girl, but also who I guessed was her mother, sisters,
grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and a few other women of relations I
could hardly guess. They quickly tossed the flowers in my tray
apparently looking for the ones the little girl had given me. They
weren't there, meaning, according to my sponsor, that Ganesha had
accepted my offering and I should pay the girl 200 rp. As in the
temple only a few minutes earlier, not even Randi could make money
disappear so quickly.

We put our shoes and socks back on and headed to the customer site, as
I already mentioned, the Nuclear Power Company of India, Ltd.

In the cab on our way, the cab driver and my sponsor told me I needed
to make my request to Ganesha so that my laptop would not let me down.
When I was a boy, we used to wish on stars and birthday cakes, so this
amused me to no end.

"Let's see," I mused, "how shall I put it? I know: please Ganesha ,
don't let me be embarrassed again by my laptop."

All agreed that with the request in place, we were ready to face the
customer with the certainty that all would be OK.

Our meeting took place on the 14th floor in the boardroom. There must
have 50 people there, the largest audience I had been in front of on
my Indian Adventure. After enchanging business cards and a few
pleasantries, the moment of truth had finally arrived.

As I was booting my laptop, with a big smile on his face, my sponsor
announced to the whole room of the power of Ganesha, waving the
orange-dabbed figurine around, pointing to the orange dabs between our
eyes. Almost everyone in the room started bowing and putting their
hands together in a praying-like position in front of their chests,
such was their belief.

My belief? My laptop had worked perfectly back in the US, as well as
in my hotel room after arriving in India the previous week. The visual
manifestation of the problems I'd been having told me that it was
somehow related to display refresh frequency, perhaps caused by the
differences in electrical current at the various places I'd visited.
Electricity in India is not as stable as it is in other countries,
with plenty of frequent brownouts and outages. The Indian nuclear
power grid was no exception to the rule.

Before my laptop could completely boot, the power went out. We sat
there stupidly for the next 3 hours waiting for the power that would
come back on "any minute because this is the place where we make the
power." By the time we collectively decided to pack it in, it was
getting dark.

BTW, because my laptop had a battery, it continued booting,
successfully, I might add. But power out meant that the projector
would not work, so we couldn't proceed with the presentation. It also
meant that the elevator wouldn't work, so we had to feel our way down
14 stories in the dark. I chalked it all up to an unexpected benefit
to my further Indian Adventures.

On our way the next day to another customer visit, my sponsor advised
me on the problem with my previous day's Ganesha-request. It seems I
hadn't been specific enough. I had asked to avoid embarrassment, which
meant that I was essentially leaving the decision of just how to avoid
embarrassment to Ganesha. The method chosen by Ganesha was to make the
power go out, transferring embarrassment to the customer, instead.

So today's wording was quite exact: "Please Ganesha, let my laptop
boot up correctly first time."

Satisfied that we had the right prayer this time, we went to the
customer offices where the laptop booted up first time, and the power
didn't go out. My theory is that Mumbai area power is of a higher
quality or better frequency than power in any of the other cities I'd
visited. Maybe I'm wrong in my theory, but somehow I'm unwilling to
accept that "Ganesha heeded my prayers."

In my office here on a shelf nearby, I have various souvenirs I've
collected from my world travels. Sitting among them is the Ganesha
figurine, still sporting a bit of the orange paint between its eyes,
although somewhat faded now, but with the memories of my Indian
Adventure still fairly fresh in my mind.

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