TidBits.029 (The Turkey has been Grilled Nice and Proper) And if at all any one day of the week brings me alive in the evening, it is the FRIDAY. And my readers should not get me wrong or simply jump to conclusions in identifying the cause. It is definitely not because of the Goa Desc's 'Friday Balcao'. It could have been, but for the odd timing. And it is certainly not because of the Friday Market at Mapusa either. The very thought of entering Mapusa market on Saturdays, specially in the morning, undoes the age old Friday Market craze, mainly because what one beholds is that entire Belgaum is spread out at the Mapusa Market as a Saturday tourist attraction. And what is worst is that one realizes that our Mapusa Municipal sweepers and garbage cleaning team have been blessed with the 'banking' working hours. The nice and proper, green saree clad, majesties, ladies sweepers wield their sweeping broom like writing pens on the banking ledgers as late as 9.00 AM when they ought to have been at work from 5 AM in the morning and deliver the market clean and ready to take the onslaught of another hectic market day at 7.00 AM. Not to say that the Mapusa Municipal Councilors are not heavy in their pockets after a very successful extortion Friday from the hawkers, to be particularly conscious of their prime duties of having the market cleaned in time for the next day.
The reason is that I come alive, expectantly, for the Friday's "Question time India" or even more so for "Question time Pakistan" at 10 PM. Most often, the boring 'Question Time India' finds me snoring in my seat in front of the TV until my better half sends me packing to bed with a threat of the holocaust in the morning. But today, it was the hard talking Karan Thapar which jolted me into attentiveness. No sleepy eyes. No dozing off. And if Karan Thapar has this effect on me, it was multiplied a thousand fold when I realized that the "turkey on Karan Thapar's Grill" was none other than my very very good friend Lal Krishna Advani. As we say in Konkani "MOJE UBAU GHELE" for I hadn't seen my friend at such close range and so clear in a long long time. Therefore, I pulled my chair closest to the TV screen so I should not miss even his eyelids twitching while under the intense Karan Thapar's grilling heat. And my wife, my son, and my daughter and even my two dogs thought that it was I who was grilling this great hypocrite jerk instead of Karan Thapar to the extent that they had to tell me to shut up, and that, Advani could not hear me, and please don't awaken the neighbourhood. And during the half hour of this prime show, I felt that I was watching the "Exorcist". I could visualize the green hued spitty venom filling Advani's mouth and threatening to spill out each time Karan poked him, as if, with the spike in the ribs. And I really thought Advani would spray the vile green bile all over Karan's face in contempt, just like in the 'Exorcist'. And I sincerely hoped that he would choke to death on it, right there and then. But it was not to be. For, again, they say in Konkani "KAULEANIN XIRAP GHALEAR DHORAM MORONAN". Karan, in his utter expertise, took Advani from "Supreme Court's indictment of the Gujarat Government over the Best Bakery case to the 'party with a difference" to "terrorism" to "Babri Demolishing" to "Gujarat Carnage" to "Supreme Court's stay on disinvestments of BPCL & HPCL, to his influencing the CBI to exonerate himself. And I could really see Advani feeling the heat and wanting to bolt. I was, all the time looking at his hypocrite's eyes which were telling me how he felt each time more powerful and well planned punches were delivered from Karan's end. He tried to cover up his complicity in the Gujarat affair by saying that the overall system of justice in the country was inadequate. He tried to get away from his opposition time slogan "We shall persue and end terrorism" by saying that while in opposition it was different and while in the government it was different. We all know this to be the fact even by virtue of not being in the opposition or in the government. (Our very own Goa Chief Minister Manohar Parrikar has proved this theory right, while in the opposition, by virtue of his applying black shoe polish on Dr. Willy's (CMs) the then brand new Fiat, NE-118, terming it a luxury that Goa could not afford, AND, by being very comfortable with a line of BALENOs himself, while in power). And the worst thing which I could not bear to hear from this hypocrite's (Advani 's) mouth is that "from the very first, I had said that the Babri demolition was the saddest thing in my life" If I was Karan I sure would have asked him, nay, not asked him but rather spat at him "But dear Deputy PM, immediately after the demolition of the Babri Masjid, when you returned home, you had said 'JO KARNE GAYE WOH KARKE AYEM' , how come?? And I am very sure, that after the half hour of expert grilling by Karan Thapar, Advani must have rushed to the nearest toilet to puke. I could see it coming. And, I am also sure, that Advani will not be in a position to attend to office for the next few days. But on the brighter side, he did manage a smile when Karan asked him if he was not expecting to seat himself in the PMs chair. Of course, this Maha Hypocrite needs to smile when one talks of him about being India's PM. Afterall, he has invested his entire life to get there, mostly through the rath yatra, the Babri demolition, the Gujarat riots , exonerating himself through influencing the CBI et al And it is unusual for me to sit this late on a 'Friday' night to write my TidBits. And why ever not? Afterall Advani is the best friend I have in the entire world. And I wouldn't want to do injustice to him. Come to think of it, he might even make it to the PMs chair some day with his expertise at back stabbing. And as India's PM he might give us Goans another Sky Bus as a gift in return for the hospitality of our Goan 5 star hotel stay, just like Vajpayee has done and promptly forgotten after the effects of our dear Caju Feni that he has had, wore off. And I wonder if Advani likes Caju Feni. Cheers Floriano ########################################################################## # Send submissions for Goanet to [EMAIL PROTECTED] # # PLEASE remember to stay on-topic (related to Goa), and avoid top-posts # # More details on Goanet at http://joingoanet.shorturl.com/ # # Please keep your discussion/tone polite, to reflect respect to others # ##########################################################################
