The traffic cops,the city cops and the Corporation of Panaji swung into action against stray cattle today as per the assurance of the Goa Government. The animal handlers and stockmen of the Directorate of Animal Husbandry were on high alert.
Note the day and the date and proceed down the Rua Afonso de Albuquerque [after the 'shuddhikaran' called the MG Road] in Panaji [called Pangim by the EIP guys...not 'gai' as in cow]. Lights,Camera,Action! Are you nuts? Today is Saturday, the weekly holiday for the CCP and the Directorate of AH & VS. Besides,since when do you think the 'Animal Husbands' takes cows home on week-ends? One heard of cows...oops ! I mean one herd of cows was seen Nestle-ing in the middle of the road. The men in Khaki[the journos had exhausted all the black cloth before Diwali] walked up to the cows and, after quoting the Section 4 of the fifth amendment to the American Constitution, asked the cows to state whether they are willing to "compound" the case of unauthorized parking in a "No Parking " zone. The cows, after a brief consultation, spoke through their authorized spokesperson. "The word used by the Goa Government in this context was 'impound', and not 'compound'. You may please withdraw your unjustified and illegal threat to our freedom." it stated quite firmly while 'condemning the attititude of the establishment. The cops were in no mood to listen to all this bullshit. the Hawaldar rattled off the relevant sections of the IPC,Cr.P.C.,MV Act,Defacement of Public Property Act and threatened to initiate proceedings for obstruction of Govt.Servant in the due discharge of his duties. The cow regretted that the cop had a discharge while on duty and asked him to either 'impound' or be damned.[The grapevine has it that the grass is greener in Kalay .] The police asked the same question again. The cow replied that it did not have its purse handy. The cop then wrote a "challan" and affixed it to the rump of the cow. ;-) The cow complained that it was unfair : it was illiterate and could not read the challan. The husband was called in but refused to come stating that Saturday was a holiday. The cop then used a CADbury software and produced an illustration of the fines that the cow was liable to pay for wrong parking and other aggravating causes since then. The cow asked the cop," Parle-z vous francais?" " Non? No problem,I will ask you in hindi." The cow stood up to its full height and said [Mimicing the voice of Amitabh] " Aarey,tu mera dudh pee-peeke bada badmash ho gaya hai. Tu apne maa ka dudh piya ho to saamne aa ja! " Viva Go seva. Miguel P.S. While I was about to hit the button to "SEND" this report, a flash has come through. The cows have been referred to the "Adult Literacy Cell" of the Directorate of Higher Education for a crash course in functional reading of police "challans". It is proposed to make all the staff of the Directorate of Animal Husbandry to work 24x7 for the 365 days of holidays that the tourism dept.enjoys in Goa. Regualr updates will be given on NDTV to keep them awake. They will be entitled to drink all the milk that they can get from the stray cattle[including cows,buffaloes, oxen,etc] in their charge. ;-) 01November has been unofficially declared the tourist 'All Fools Day",since very few tourists are around in April.02 November is already dedicated to the souls of all those who drown by fooling with water. For those who do not beleive in souls,02 Nov. is a closed holiday. ....original message..... > Date: Sat, 01 Nov 2003 01:09:00 +0530 > Subject: [Goanet]Counting cattle before they are caught? > Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > One should not count chickens before they are hatched...and one cannot > transport stray cattle to Kalay Farm/Cattle Pound[ a good 60 km. from > Panaji] till they manage to actually catch them! > > Drive to impound stray cattle from November 1 > PANJIM, OCT 30 - > HERALD NEWS DESK > - After a long lull, the government has announced it will start impounding > the stray cattle from November 1, in keeping up with its assurance to reduce > the stray cattle menace in the State.The government in a press-release > stated that all stray cattles found on roads, foot-paths, highways, beaches > will be impounded and the farmers would have to pay a fine to the > Corporation of the City of Panjim or the Department of Veterinary Services, > Panjim and the fine could also include the transport cost.It said that the > impounded cattle would be maintained at the government cattle pound at Kalay > in Sanguem. > --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.530 / Virus Database: 325 - Release Date: 10/22/2003 ########################################################################## # Send submissions for Goanet to [EMAIL PROTECTED] # # PLEASE remember to stay on-topic (related to Goa), and avoid top-posts # # More details on Goanet at http://joingoanet.shorturl.com/ # # Please keep your discussion/tone polite, to reflect respect to others # ##########################################################################
