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Dear Goannetters: While we're on the topic of Konkani vocabulary, my grand-niece wants to know how to say Merry Chrismas in Konkani. She also wants to know how they celebrate Christmas in Goa. Can you help? Filomena
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In Konkani the greeting is "Khuxalbhorit Natalam" which translates as "Happy Christmas" or literally "A Christmas filled with Joy".
Goans who are not going to be in Goa for Christmas can try this link to greet their loved ones in Goa.
http://www.goa-world.com/expressions/xmas/
And below is a handy guide.
Goan Christmas Greetings - A Handy Guide - from The Times of India
Goan for the Jocular by Cecil Pinto --------------------
It's that time of the year. When absolute strangers will wish you "Compliments of the Season", and the guy who was not on talking terms with you since last February will enthusiastically wish you in a fit of Chrismassy joie de vivre. Below is a basic Guide to the different types of Goan Christmas Greetings. With these practical guidelines you should be able to come through this season unscathed.
The Jolly Bear Hug:
Description: The greeter will embrace you with one hand snaking between your armpit and your waist and the other round your neck, then hug you tight and shake you like a rag doll, from side to side, while simultaneously booming "Bos Festas de Natale, amigo!" into your ear.
Action to be taken: Do not reciprocate but rather just make your whole body go limp. If you show any enthusiasm the greeter will take this as encouragement and keep on rocking you. This has been known to cause asphyxiation and even temporary deafness.
The Cheek Wipe: (Most popular)
Description: The greeter will offer you a limp handshake and lean forward and touch his cheek to yours very lightly. First one cheek and then the other. This is a very formal sort of greeting which says " I'm just being polite ". In fact it is so common that some greeters do not even brush their cheeks but just make the necessary forward leaning action.
Action to be taken: Just as the greeter leans forward, look over the greeter's shoulder into the nearby crowd and say something like " Maggie! When did you come down from Kuwait? ". And as the greeter pauses to look in the direction of Maggie you disengage your hand and escape in the opposite direction.
Now of course if you genuinely want to move a step ahead in life, and the greeter is particularly attractive, you could proceed to convert The Cheek Wipe into The Cheek Peck.
The Cheek Peck:
Description: Leading with a firm handshake, the greeter lightly brushes his lips against the receiver's cheek simultaneously making a 'puk' sound by an abrupt intake of air through the mouth. This greeting is designed to convey further intentions and usually goes hand in hand with a phrase like " Nice scent you're wearing ", whispered in a slightly hoarse voice into the ear.
Action to be taken:
(a) Evasive: As the second Cheek Peck (other side) approaches just pull your face back and exclaim very loudly " You're getting all your sweat on my face. Or is that spit? And what was that you were whispering about scent? You could do with some yourself! "
(b) Encouraging: Reciprocate with a Cheek Peck yourself on the second approach (other cheek). If all goes well there will be mutual lip contact which could lead to The Pucker Kiss.
The Pucker Kiss:
Description: Greeter angles his head ever so lightly and plants a a closed mouth kiss on the receiver's lips. The greeter's hands remain in the vicinity of the receiver's hips. This sort of greeting is normally between opposite sexes except in certain areas of Baga and around the Margao Municipal Garden. Except between spouses, or going-steady couples, such greetings are rarely attempted in public - of course not counting charter tourists.
Action to be taken:
Simple Evasive: Just before moment of impact angle your own face slightly and convert it into a Cheek Peck (as described earlier). Rest assured the greeter will get the message, " Back off. We're not THAT close."
Extreme evasive: If greeting has progressed beyond a point and simple evasive action is not possible then at the moment of impact puff up your cheeks and blow a huge amount of air directly into greeter's shocked mouth.
Encouraging: Reciprocate with The Passion Kiss described below.
The Passion Kiss:
Description: Greeter grabs receiver's head by inserting thumbs in receiver's ears and curling all other fingers round the back of receiver's head. Takes a deep breath and plants an extended open mouthed kiss on receiver's lips. This a serious greeting with explicit implications.
Action to be taken:
Evasive: A hard kick in the groin should do the trick.
Encouraging: Beyond the scope of this column. This is a family newspaper. Use your imagination dummy!
Season's Greetings to all of you!
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The humour column above appeared in Goa Plus the Friday Magazine section of The Times of India on 20th December 2002.
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