TidBits - GAG or CAG ?? *** Have you heard of the "All Goa C A G" ?
GAG? who is being gagged? Not Gag silly. Cag, it is. Well, I don't know of any cag who is an all round Goan. So fill me in quick and don't waste my time. I don't like suspenses. In that case, how about IFFI? Have you heard of IFFI? Sure, Isn't it the debris collected out of the demolition of the once upon a time Campal football stadium and some old hospitals nearby or something? Where did you pick that one up? Debris? No, the thing about demolition of the stadium and old hospitals. Its all over the newspapers, the net, man!. Some ex-footballers who played on this ground were travelling in the bus I was travelling in. And oh my ! Were they sore about the whole thing? Someone even pushed a leaflet in my hands at Panjim Kadamba bus stand. So what has this cag thing got to do with IFFI? Don't Goans like to have modern football, hockey and athletic stadiums and modern hospitals? Sure we can do with some. But they only exist in the manifestoes of political parties until they win the elections. IFFI has nothing to do with debris. It is the acronym for International Film Festival of India. A crony of the IFFI? You mean blue films? Blue films? Who is saying IFFI has anything to do with blue films, silly?. There will be films of all colours, like white films from Europe, Black from Africa, Yellow from Japan, red from the US of A etc and technicolour from places like Brazil, Phillipines, India etc. And no blue films? No blue films. In Goa we only make them. In Miramar, in star hotels, through hidden cameras, unknown to the guests with a lightly laced coke, or a pepsi or a sand piper with a dolphin or whatever. A dolphin, a sand piper? That too in a coke, a pepsi? You must be out -a-ya- mind. You mean to say in Miramar you have actual dolphins? Oh! come on! I am not talking of dolphins that jump in the sea. I am talking about little dolphins that slip silently to the bottom of the coke bottle when you least notice it, and if you are a girl, especially.. Never mind all that now. You will know better when you get around. Coming back to your first question, what is CAG supposed to mean? Well, we have all sorts of citizen's groups in Goa. But this is a new one, specially designed so that citizens can spit out what is being forcefully thrust down their throats, the IFFI. Cag stands for "Citizen's Action Group" So what is the plan? CAG will assemble at the Ferry Wharf in Panjim at 10 00 hours on Wednesday the 7th. of April, 2004 in great numbers. And that will be like a side-show only. The real show will come later. You mean only the Panjimites? No, silly, it is All Goa CAG. Not only Panjimites but Goans all over the State. And do what? Burn the CM or something? I mean, the CM's effigy, like they burnt the effigy of Christ in some Northern or Eastern State, recently? And cause pollution? No Sir, thank you. Sanathan Saunstha would object to it vociferously. In Goa we don't believe in burning effy's, sorry effigies. We only burn plastics and garbage. And sometimes we burn shacks on the beaches. That is allowed you know? if you are a minister, that is. Minister of the Church? No, silly. Minister in the Manohar Parrikar Government. In Delhi? They have beaches and shacks in Delhi? Oh! Pho! You are miserable with your Geography. Delhi has no beaches, and therefore, no shacks. Only Vajpayee's Government which is run by Advani. We are talking of Manohar Parrikar who is the CM of Goa and related to Advani. Not literally, but through the brotherhood of RSS. And in his government, his ministers can do what they like. They can burn beach shacks, and have the police sleep over the case files until the High Court is woken up, they can slap Directors of departments until they fall down, if they don't obey orders. And it takes the CM to apologize for the behavior of his ministers. They can threaten to resign just to get tickled to see the CM fall to their feet, begging not to ... whatever. Sounds interesting. Is there any chance that I could become a minister in the government of Goa? I would love to. Whatever the cost. Why only Goa? You can become a minister in Delhi. You have just 2 days to file your nomination papers for either one of the Constituencies. The general elections are on, to select a government in Delhi, you know? Then you purchase all the other candidates in your constituency, for cash down payment, to withdraw their candidature. You get elected unopposed on May 10. That is if you have crows, sorry, crores in your bags. Then you take this stupid IFFI and dump it in the Mandovi river as a payment to me for my excellent advice 'how to become a minister' in Delhi..Dumping to sink IFFI that is, and not to keep it floating. Because, if it floats in the Mandovi, you will have done just the thing that Manohar Parrikar wanted to do at one time. Then use your Delhi MPLADs to rebuild the Campal football stadium in style and the hospitals too. The ex footballers and the ex-doctors and nurses will just love you forever and you will have arrived. Where? Wherever you want to, that is. MP lads? I must have lads when I become a MP? Its easy. Even if you were not interested, you will. It is a system you will grow to like. Without getting married? I am a confirmed bachelor. No marriage for me. Who's talking about marriage? Cheers Floriano Lobo goasuraj ########################################################################## # Send submissions for Goanet to [EMAIL PROTECTED] # # PLEASE remember to stay on-topic (related to Goa), and avoid top-posts # # More details on Goanet at http://joingoanet.shorturl.com/ # # Please keep your discussion/tone polite, to reflect respect to others # ##########################################################################
