Love to Love You Voter
The most precious gift a human being could get in this
century is that of freedom and franchise - one man,
one vote - heady - mix. Electorates have become the
darlings and darlings need to be cajoled, courted and
forgotten. Now it depends on your purse and honey
tongue - how you seduce your voter by your sweet talk,
by distributing blankets (election in India are
usually in winters). Unfortunately for the 'feel
good' and 'India shiners' this summer was a disaster,
so to speak after the debacle when one view the
election results this afternoon. Over confidence or
smart voters? As one radio news channel stated, the
US has to learn a lot on the 'micracle' of India's
election process. It was clear that Indians do
exercise their votes almost one third more than their
fellow US farmers and patato growers from Idaho.
In India, apart from the parties, there are several
scores of 'independent' candidates. Some go for
publicity in the 'Gazettes' and newspapers. Even a
crow cries with shyness when it observes these
candidates. These candidates are allotted elephant,
camel, car, sun, moon as their election symbol. There
is a bad news for them. One candidate chose umbrella
as his symbol and gave away umbrellas to each
household, lest they forget. It was a sunny day when
they moved out in hoardes to the election venue.
Suddenly it poured cats and dog a few minutes after
their left hand finger was blackened. So they
remembered their candidate when someone called them to
share the umbrella.
Now how does one propose to go about if symbol happens
to be elephant, camel, etc. The maximum one can do is
to give electorates a free joy ride. But rival
candidate may get ideas and go around misleading
voters as to how you, once elected, would take them
for a ride.
There were times when voters were happy to get the
symbol badges, posters and banners. Today we have come
a long way on the path of democracy. The constituency
is visited by jeeps and Maruthis and Tata Somos and
Sierras, packed with armed 'grass-root' workers who
'work' their way on voters. In olden times rulers who
had ambition had expansionist designs. They used to
invade the weak kingdoms. With passage of time we
became civilized, now we go for booth capturing.
Fortunately, Goans have not learned about this trend
from the Northern Indian States and has not caught up
with this habit.
Earlier voters were true to their words and attached
lot of meaning to it. Today voters give you meaningful
glances and seek your 'help'. Now you have to quickly
grasp and translate what do they want. There is also a
sea change in the weaponry employed for canvassing
too.
Earlier population was not much, hence, not too many
candidates were there in fray. Voting was over in a
day. Now population has sky-rocketed. Very soon we
will unseat China from number one slot. We couldn't do
much in 1962, Chinese aggression but this is our
field, we are playing on home ground. All set to
avenge our defeat. Number of candidates has increased
tenfold. Ballot paper once post card size is now
jumbo-size blow up. There is another area where lot of
difficulty is faced by candidates - election symbols.
Earthern pot, fish, box, table, oven, cycle, radio,
television, plate, thali, lota, katora, glass, lotus,
hand, eyes, ears what have you. Fortunately, we have
not seen 'koitas' and 'mobile phones'.
I am reminded of a candidate who chose matchbox and
went around distributing and explaining the utility of
fire. How fire is the source of creation and
destruction. How our Bostaio proposes to create newer
and newer facilities for his constituency and destroy
every hurdle coming his way. He lost his deposit. In
despair he wanted to immolate himself with the same
match box but was prevented and advised by followers
including Madhu and Suria that looking to frequent
dissolutions there is always a second chance and
sooner than you think. Says, Francis, will Goa go back
to
Bostiao intends to contest again but with a less
hazardous symbol. As per new rule, in case a candidate
dies, the election is postponed sine die. This has
posed massive threat to candidates lives. The poor men
have to literally hide and yet seek. During last
election, somewhere in the Indian subcontinent, a
candidate was provided with a security guard but
candidates' whole time was spent in guarding his wife
"Minakshi" from the security guard. It seems security
guard and wife of the candidate became 'friendly'.
Candidate had to request authorities to withdraw the
security guard loving called "Rajnikant" by Minakshi
for the sake of security.
Come polling day, it is festival time. It is fun time
candidates whom you have not seen since ages and may
not see again for ages (win or lose) go around
grinning with folded hands. He is petal-showered and
garlanded (distributed by cronies before hand).
The greatest achievement of literacy mission - voter
has really awakened can do instant calculations,
doesn't waste his vote and makes most of his vote. The
pesphologist are left ever confused, analyzing the
trivia such as percentage of swings, rural vs. urban
voting pattern etc. We have all seen how Hariya's
posro (shop) has become Shri Hari General Merchant to
Harish Departmental Store to today's Harry's Corner
where the famous Wines and Poteantlea Mas alais
'Chevrisam' are sold. Kitem zalem, tem poteantleam
mass (that is packeted meat). Harry's International,
now remained for Harry's Corner, is now a recruiting
agency and represent a multi-national company, hiring
Goans and all the 'Bhailea and Vhoilea' settled in
Goa.
Similarly, election propaganda has gone high - tech.
Gone are the days of hand bills, cassette players and
public address system. The Andra Pradesh Law has
silenced the best of the orators on the mike system
and loud speakers. Time is of TV, Video, Computer
networking. Suitably modified luxury coach named
election chariot and chopper service. SMS massaging
and even requests to www.goa-world.com to air their
messages, knowing our free-for-all service in the good
intentions to ward off the 'evil' like minded fellow's
intentions.
Next election will be fought through 'theme' films
being produced for canvassing. The Hero (candidate)
saving damsel in distress from the den of villian
(opposite candidate) skimpily clad pop singers giving
the re-mix glorifying candidates' virtues(?) Candidate
will be shown in disco (to appeal 18 - 22 age group)
next scene he would be shown defending 'Bharat mata'
from foreign invaders having striking similarity with
rival candidates. There will be catchy dialogues. Hero
would perform miracle after miracle making the feats
of Silver Stallone and Arnold Schwagger appear like
kid stuff. Will we see Atalji in his right hand
maneavours 'spinning' the 'feel good' charm!! Was
such a thing allow or tolerated? Only time will tell.
New studios and IFFI venues have been set up/planned
by prominent political parties. Writers directors and
fight masters all are busy. New channels are being
sold and bought. Multinational Companies are busy
putting more satellites up in the orbit catering
exclusively to Indian politicians. We made much
hullabaoo on one Bofors, now so many would be there to
clear the air and blanket the truth, and with such a
force that you won't be able to 'weep for them'. Don't
you worry. Tears International - another multinational
has got franchised in India. They specialize in
shedding tears. They will provide you management
trainees to cry on your behalf. They will do it in
latest style vetted by the foriegn financing agencies.
Groovy scene! Isn't it?
P.S � God save my country from these politicians who
are hell bent upon to 'serve' it.
gasper
www.goa-world.com
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