Spurce: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=communication&refid=013
----- What Women Want
For years the great minds of the world have been trying to find an answer to a very complex question. It seems that no man, no matter what his intellect, can crack the case of this intensely scrutinized predicament. What is it that has nobel peace prize winners and the great scholars of our world in a frenzy? ---What do women want? Although you may read the haphazard articles in magazines that talk about strategies and games that will win women over, it is important to consider the evolutionary theory and the qualities that this theory suggests women look for in their mate.
Evolutionary psychology offers one view about female psychology. Not all psychologists agree that this theory offers a complete explanation of "what women want", but some find the logic attractive.
What women Want * Selectivity * Generosity * Resources * Social status
Selectivity
A man's contribution to reproduction is fairly small (only a few healthy sperm), while a woman's investment is much larger and involves a tremendous amount of time and effort (Sheets, Wolfe, 2001: 256). Therefore, a woman is more interested in what the man can provide post-sex, like food and shelter, to ensure the survival of their child. According to evolutionary psychologists, this should lead the woman to be highly selective in choosing her partner. Since women risk an enormous investment as a consequence of having sex, evolution should favor women who are highly selective in choosing their mates (Buss, 1994: 20). If a woman was not highly discriminate about who her mate would be, the result could be unhealthy children who did not survive to reproductive age.
Obviously times have changed with the introduction of highly effective birth control methods, such as the pill and the condom. This advancement has given women in developed countries more freedom to experiment sexually without high fear of pregnancy. However, even today most women are still cautious about their mates, fearing that a rendezvous might result in long term consequences such as conception, or sexually transmitted diseases.
So maybe selectivity is not a brand new idea and men have known for centuries how 'picky' women can be. What can men do to ensure they are the ones a woman will choose them?
Generosity
All things being equal, would a woman choose a stingy man over a generous man? It may seem like a simple answer, but it is important to consider. A generous man who is willing to sacrifice his time, energy and resources is likely to benefit the woman, her offspring and contribute to the woman's future fertility. A happy, healthy woman is more likely to have happy healthy children to grow up and be fruitful until reproductive age.
In the real world, all things are rarely equal. With all of the thousands of differences among men, why do women value some characteristics more than others? Why is generosity more important that a cleft chin? Why do women not ask to see a man's toes before their first date? Some attributes are granted more weight than others, and one of the most scrutinized attributes are a man's resources and social status.
Resources
The evolution of the female preference for males who offer resources may be the most ancient and pervasive basis for female choice in the animal kingdom (Buss, 1994: 22). During avian mating season, the male gray shrike of Israel displays all of the items he has amassed throughout the summer months and impales them on thorns. The female shrikes then fly around and choose their mates depending on the amount of resources they have. Male Shrikes with no resources are destined for bachelorhood. According to evolutionary psychologists, humans do not fall far from this animalistic ritual. In our society, the amenities a man can provide for his mate are important in a woman's decision to choose or not choose him. If the man is unable to provide for her and her offspring, then the woman will seek elsewhere for these resources. In fact, in a cross-cultural survey study of women, it has been found that women place more value than men on financial resources (Buss, 1994: 25).
Social Status
In traditional hunter-gatherer societies, social hierarchies were common. The men at the top of the hierarchy would have access to most of the resources, while the men at the bottom had less. For this reason, many woman would seek the men at the top. This still rings true in today's society. Henry Kissinger once remarked that power is the most potent aphrodisiac (Buss, 1994: 25). In a study conducted on American college-aged men and women in Massachusetts, Michigan, Texas and California, social status was ranked between important and indispensable for women, whereas men rate it as desirable but not very important (Buss, 1994: 26). When looking for a mate, women place great value on education and professional degrees, which are both strong indicators of future social status. As the roles of men and women have changed through evolution, the value women place on social status may be changing accordingly. But again, it is difficult to dismiss millions of years of evolution of the female psyche and consider only the modern woman. For this reason, women may continue to value social status highly when choosing a partner.
Perhaps the most abstract quality a woman looks for in a man regards love and commitment. A man can have all of the resources in the world, but if he does not choose to give his potential mate love and commitment, many women will go in search of another mate.
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Resources:
Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. New York: Basic Books, 1994.
Sheets, Virgil. Wolfe, Marlow. "Sexual Jealousy in Heterosexuals, Lesbians, and Gays." Sex Roles, Vol. 44, Nos. 5/6, 2001
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