Gifted and Gifting Godparents
A tedious, painstaking and irreversible process
By Cecil Pinto
A popular saying of Confucius translates this way, "Have no friends not
equal to yourself". More recently Yassir Arafat said, "Choose your friends
carefully. Your enemies will choose you". What both great men seem to have
overlooked is that much more important in life, than choosing friends and
enemies, is choosing proper godparents for your children.
Last week I discovered this fascinating little booklet written and
published by a New York based Goan, Dr. Eric Pinto (no relation of mine),
entitled "Choosing Godparents: Comprehensive Guidelines for Modern Catholic
Parents in Goa". Now for those of you who are not familiar with the
Catholic religion, and think Mafia, Dawood and Marlon Brando, the moment
the word 'godfather' is mentioned, let me explain some basic concepts. When
a child is born into a Catholic family a godfather and godmother are
chosen. They have four basic functions (1) To bring up the child in case
the parents are unable to - due to death (2) To ensure that the child is
brought up according to the tenets of the Catholic faith (3) To find out
what exactly 'tenets' means (4) To hold the candle during the christening
ceremony - and pose in all the photos.
For centuries Catholics worldwide have followed these four basic beacons
when choosing godparents, and have not given much thought to the fact that
photography was not even invented when these four rules were laid down. But
the modern Catholic is questioning the basics tenets (just love that word!)
of his faith, and this is where Dr. Eric Pinto steps in with very
practical, and dogmatic, advise on the choosing of godparents. See below
some quotations from his booklet.
"These rules were made centuries back, when very often parents used to die
of starvation, plague, the Inquisition - or sheer boredom. They didn't have
cable TV then. People don't die that easily anymore. Thank God for HBO! So
the function of the godparents has slowly and subtly shifted from being
protectors to being gift-givers."
"Elderly bachelors and spinsters make the best godparents. They will be
generous and indulgent with their gifts - and most probably leave some
property for your child. Look for elderly unmarried people with
independently purchased property, and not some share in ancestral land or
houses. Their nieces and nephews will contest your child's inheritance, if
it is ancestral property. Also beware of godparents owning properties with
tenants. Evicting them can be tedious. Make sure Form I & XIV have no Other
Parties mentioned."
"Godparents living abroad are particularly desirable. You gain from the
stronger currencies. Avoid Goan Canadians though, unless you plan to use
them as sponsors for your family migration there in the future. They are so
heavily taxed and mortgaged that they have no money left over to send gifts
to their godchildren."
"The new trend of having totally unrelated rich visiting foreigners as
godparents is very welcome and has plenty of potential. Birth rates in
Western countries are falling and so the chances of a foreigner childless
couple remaining childless, by choice, by bad eating habits or by faulty
sexual techniques, are very high. Who better to receive their generosity,
before and after their death, than their godchild?"
"An enterprising parent should choose not only a godparent who is
physically distant, and so will not be a pain in the backside as a pesky
houseguest, but with a bit of research can choose one whose vacant local
residence can be utilised as a dumping ground for other non-generous
visiting relatives."
"As the Catholic Church grapples with gay priests, and novitiates
threatening marriage, it doesn't have much time to introspect on the
desirability of allowing same sex partners as godparents - or even
non-Catholics as godparents for that matter. Strike while the iron is hot,
and the opposition confused. Aim for maximum wealth generation for
generations."
Dr. Eric Pinto's very down-to-earth advice, in my opinion, is very relevant
for these turbulent times. In all religions, iron clad and revered tenets
(!) are being questioned. In this era of globalisation, instant e-mail,
local SMS at just thirty paise and cheap Chinese toys, it is appropriate
that the people who will paying the fees for your child's college education
should be chosen carefully. Choosing godparents is a perilous job. Even
more important than choosing a name for your child. A name can be changed
by paying the prescribed fees, publishing a tiny advert in the newspapers
and notifying in the Government Gazette. With enough resources and a bit of
indulgence even a long standing marriage can be annulled. But a godparent
is for life - unchangeable.
My wife has as godparents Saint Joseph and Saint Rita. That apparently was
a common custom in some areas. The logic eludes me. What protection could
they possibly give? More importantly, what gifts could they possibly give?
I had as my godparents my own grandmother and uncle. Both now deceased.
What were my parents thinking? My grandmother and uncle would have given me
birthday gifts anyway. Why not choose godparents from outside the immediate
family? I have heard similar horror stories from many who have been saddled
with either inappropriate or ungenerous godparents. Dr. Eric Pinto even
mentions a Surviving Bad Godparents E-Group on the Internet where fellow
survivors can relate their stories of forgotten and gift-less birthdays and
console each other. Please do not let your child be a victim of bad choice.
Choose the godparents with care.
-----
The humour column above appeared in Gomantak Times dated 15th December 2005
===
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Goa - 2005 Santosh Trophy Champions |
| |
| Support Soccer Activities at the grassroots in our villages |
| Vacationing in Goa this year-end - Carry and distribute Soccer Balls |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
