Tongue in Cheek
By Cecil Pinto
As a teenager I often used to get confused by acronyms like WASP and JAP
that often appeared in American humour publications. Much later in life I
realized what they stood for, and it took me a lot of reading before I
could fully comprehend the stereotypes represented by White Anglo Saxon
Protestant (usually a member of the upper social class in America) or a
Jewish American Princess (regarded as being pampered or overindulged).
Despite George Bush, in the course of just a few years, having taken the
USA from being a most-admired to a most-despised nation, we cannot deny
that the Americans in general have a healthy habit of being able to laugh
at themselves. That they currently are making a laughing stock of
themselves with their warped international politics is another matter
altogether.
We Goans too are admired worldwide for our sense of bonhomie and being able
to admit, accept and laugh at our idiosyncrasies. And we have a lot of
those for sure. I suggest that we too have some acronyms of our own. Of
course we do already have some that have unofficially become part of our
collective lexicon through usage. For example calling someone JV suggests
that, like the character the late Jacinto Vaz used to portray, he is a bit
of a village simpleton and not well versed in civilized (read Western)
behavior. Or BBC which refers to Bad Bekar Company for someone who is
perennially unemployed and a wastrel. And LLTT for the squint eyed, Looking
London Talking Tokyo.
Below are some suggestions for modern acronyms which reflect the
stereotypes we see around in Goa.
PHOC: Party-Hopping-Often-Confused (mostly used as a prefix to a politician).
Example of usage: The PHOC MLA did not realize his gaffe, despite the
belligerent silence from the crowd, when he announced that the IFFI was a
total waste of money.
WANGAH: WANnabe Goan in A Hurry. Non-Goans who are so anxious to be
accepted as Goans that they go overboard in cultivating arcane Goanisms.
Example of usage: Pedro the barman poured himself another vodka as he
bemusedly watched the WANGAH quickly down three pegs of neat Caju Feni in a
row.
GWACA: Goan With A Caribbean Accent. Mostly waiters and vendors on the
coastal belt who put on a supposedly 'foreign' accent when speaking English
to white tourists.
Example of usage: Kenneth stared dumbfounded at the GWACA who had just
described pomfret reichado as "issa bigga flatta fisha cookeda in verri
spaicee maisala".
TCG: (pronounced Tee Cee Gee) Techno Challenged Gulfee. Usually blue-collar
Goan worker returned from Persian Gulf with electronic equipment which he
can't quite understand or use.
Example of usage: Not only couldn't the TCG figure how to send SMS from his
Infrared-Bluetooth-WAP enabled mobile, he had also not questioned the logic
of buying a 16 CD changer when he owned only 12 CDs.
MCG: Mobile Call/College Girl. Characterised by constantly either sending
messages from, or speaking on, her mobile. Usually attired in slightly
flared denim trousers and tight tops.
Example of usage: Veronica resumed kissing her lover and pitied the MCG
sitting with her boyfriend on the parapet, who was busy messaging her
friends while the boyfriend bravely smiled, forlorn and frustrated.
ATC: Adlea Tempailo Curser. A person who always curses the progress in Goa
and harks back to the olden times ('adlo temp' in Konkani) and claims we
were better off then.
Example of usage: How many ATCs does it take to change a lightbulb? None!
We don't need lightbulbs. We were better off with petromaxes. The
Electricity Department is corrupt! This didn't happen in Portuguese times...
MOTI: Matter Of Time Immigrant. Young men who take great pleasure at being
derisive of Goans settled abroad but who will instantly make the jump given
a good job opportunity.
Example of usage: As he leaned back on the bar counter and told the room in
general how his friend in Toronto was cursing the weather, and the job
situation there, the MOTI was cautious not to let it be known that he was
secretly processing his papers for Portuguese citizenship - just in case.
FAKNAT: FAKe NATionalist. ( pronounced faak naat) Member of fundamentalist
party who curses everything Western but secretly indulges in the same.
Example of usage: Sister Maria, Principal of Orange Rosary High School, was
flabbergasted by the number of admission requests from FAKNATs.
CHEWAA- Confused Heritage Environmental Wildlife Animal Activist. Usually
upper-middle class person who sincerely wants to make a difference by doing
the right things, in the politically correct way, but is a bit muddled
about where he stands.
Example of usage: As he picked up some big PET softdrink bottles for his
daughter's birthday, the CHEWA wondered whether having a Barbie Girl theme
was appropriate or should just take the kids to the circus to watch the
dancing bears.
TRUCFIL: TRade Union Crowd FILler. One of legions available to make up the
numbers when any call for a protest march is given by Trade Union leaders.
Example of usage: In between shouting slogans he didn't quite comprehend,
the hopelessly lost TRUCFIL politely asked Christopher if there would be
transportation provided later.
CFC: Clueless Female Candidate. A housewife with absolutely no political
experience who has been forced to stand for elections as her politician
husband's tiny 'constituency' has been declared a Women's Ward.
Example of usage: On perusing the newspaper I saw yet another photo of some
CFCs posing jubilantly with the local MLA, while their expressions showed
more concern about preparing the next meal - rather than Municipal matters.
Please feel free to suggest more acronyms of your own and e-mail them to me
at [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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The column above appeared in the December 2005 issue of Goa Today magazine.
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