------------------------------------------------------------------
Domnic Fernandes continues (Part II) his reminiscence of
Mapusa of the 1950s
http://www.goanet.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=426
------------------------------------------------------------------
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING
Its your life!
At the outset, I must admit that my thoughts veered to this subject due to
two causes: the unfortunate death of a young student and sportsman from my
Alma Mater, St.Britto High School, and the newspaper report of Dr. Narayan
Desai giving his favourite advice to parents of students. The report on
Dr.Desais address appeared in the only Konkani newspaper published in Goa.
What we dream, and dare to do, we become. What we cannot dream, we cannot
become. In the rare occasion that we achieve something we had not dreamt
off, it is considered a miracle. It is called a miracle because it is
extremely rare. The problem with many of us is two fold: one, we begin to
dream very late in our life and two, we dare others to do it for us. The
others whom we goad to achieve our dreams are, more often than not, our
children. Examples are a legion of super dud parents wanting their children,
with second class marks at SSC, to struggle through Science in the Higher
Secondary level and become doctors and engineers! A brilliant sportsperson,
a successful event manager, a good business administrator, a talented
musician or a wonderful artist is sometimes unwittingly sacrificed in an
attempt to produce a doctor by a couple of blinkered individuals called
parents.
The Druze poet Khalil Gibran has advice for parents. He says that parents
are like bows and the children are like arrows. The bow can give direction
to the arrow and bend to propel it forward. Once the arrow has left the bow,
it must follow its own course. My father was a firm believer in this view.
Todays parents often treat their children like wire, or laser, guided
missiles whose they control to their very end. In the uncharted landscape of
todays career options, the parents are often like the American Command HQ
during the Iraq war: they can control the missile but cannot identify the
target. The consequences in the war were described as friendly fire a
euphemism for killing allied soldiers or pilots by mistake. Similar
parenting creates nervous wrecks or suicides. Well intended, YES. Desirable,
definitely NOT!
Dr. Narayan Desai, Principal of S.S. Angle HSS at Mashem-Canacona in the
Raja Saundekar territory of yore, is a learned man and an eloquent speaker.
I was fortunate to be a member of the Board of Studies in Agriculture with
him. He is one of the few persons I would call an educationist. Most
others in his profession are employed as teachers for want of a better
option. Obviously, a few are propagandists who did not find the right
employer or who use Government grants to fund their cause and organisations.
These organizations even arrange for Best Teacher awards at the National
level. A student of botany once described such a symbiosis as you scratch
my back, I scratch yours. It works.
Education sets one free. It removes the shackles of ignorance, it gives one
the capacity to think, it inspires one to dream, it empowers one to do and
it opens the possibility of interacting in a logical, mutually beneficial
and progressive way with others to achieve ones goals without denying the
others the opportunity to achieve their goals. If one has not reached this
level, one may have degrees and doctorates and fellowship of renowned
institutions, but still not be educated at all. The ABC of Education is
Attitudenal and Behavioural Change Ones attitude must change first. Change
in behaviour follows suit naturally.
The request of Dr. Narayan Desai to parents is simple: Do not impose your
dreams on your children. They were not born to fulfill your dreams. Your
children have dreams of their own. If you encourage and support them to
fulfill their dreams, your children will be truly successful. Simple as his
message may seem, it is quite difficult to practice once one is a parent. In
our attempt to guide the children, often out of genuine concern, we end up
re-directing their lives. I have had the fortune of having an intelligent
boy from my own home town sharing a class and hostel room with me in
Bangalore. I have also had the misfortune of watching him slowly go round
the bend because Bangalore and Agriculture was not where he wanted to be. He
was there only because his family wanted him to be an officer and there
was every chance that he would be so with a degree in Agriculture. He was
capable of more!
One cannot normally see beyond the horizon. Sun rise and sun set are very
real experiences to us even today, even when we know that It is the Earth
that rotates round the sun! We laugh at the absurdity of the Pope asking
Galileo to recant his words when he said that the Earth moves round the sun.
Yet, in our day to day lives, we often do the same. Galileo recanted and
lived to tell the story. Many of todays children and youth just hang or
shoot themselves or drown their sorrows daily with a bottle of alcohol or
permanently in the cool waters of the Arabian Sea. The tragedy is The End.
Miguel Braganza
This article was published in the GT dated 07 April, 2006.
_____________________________________________
Do not post admin requests to the list.
Goanet mailing list (Goanet@goanet.org)
