'DEAR AUNTY's': TOP 10 PROBLEMS THIS WEEK:-))
1.DEAR AUNTY,
I bought a big dog, to guard my cyberspace. Now it bytes everybody incl.
me. Doesn't sleep & pokes its nose into everything. Can I muzzle it? Gabe.
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Dear Gabe: That is not a dog. Return it to the zoo.
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2.DEAR AUNTY,
I wants to be a pote. And rite famus potery. And have tee at Sahita Akademi
at 5pm. I no time. I woks late. Can I tak the last bus to Vasco ? - Brain.
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Dear Brain: Write in Konkani. Everything rhymes. Good spelling unnecessary.
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3.DEAR AUNTY,
I wants Portuguese passport. Ive all papers. But Consulate is chor. Bonny.
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Dear Bonny: Consulate is not chor. You need teor.
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4.DEAR AUNTY.
I suffer from aggression, compression,suppression, depression. Help! Mirio.
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Dear Mirio: Contact Cecil Pinto. Give expression to your 'puerile' passion.
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5.DEAR AUNTY,
My 1 pig was killed. I suspect Lamani beachboys from UP. What to do? Rosy.
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Dear Rosy: Contact Insp JoeGoaUK immediately. Now at Agasaim Police Stn.
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6.DEAR AUNTY,
I very good at blowing my own trumpet. How to become Chris Perry ? - Salu.
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Dear Salu: Add
Konkani lyrics to tunes like 'Granada'. Name them 'Lisboa'.
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7.DEAR AUNTY,
What, become big, man ? Why no reply ?? My US friends make fun my accent
when I ask for pisa, flitters, rubbit or feesh. Pl tell how to say. Maria.
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Dear Maria: Yanks
use T in pisa. Avoid Konkani. Big problem with shit cody.
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8.DEAR AUNTY,
I NRI Goan in Saudi Arabia. I in problem. I loves Arabic girl but our love
forbidden. If we marry, we will be beheaded. Pls., how to marry ? - Lewis.
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Dear Lewis: Go ahead. To wed, you need yr hands & yr feet. Not your head.
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9.DEAR AUNTY,
Im NRI Goan in UK. My bank in Goa stole my 4 lakhs. I complained police,
CM, even Raj Bhavan. All big chors. How to sue this corrupt Raj ? - Deepa.
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Dear Deepa: Contact Goa Su-Raj.
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10.DEAR AUNTY,
The fisherwoman cheats me everyday. She says 1 kg bangdde, but no scales.
At home, they weigh half kg. How to get my money back ? - Martin.
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Dear Martin: She doesn't cheat.Fish have the scales. Money back? Marry her.
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Disclaimer:'Dear Aunty' regrets being unable to reply to any personal e-
mails. Please post all enquiries directly online.:-))
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