[Goanet] SOIRIKEN KAZAR (Arranged marriage) Part 5

[domnic fernandes]

SOIRIKEN KAZAR (Arranged marriage) – Part 5

TAG DANCE (Continued)
Once the ‘Tag Dance’ began, the emcee would interrupt the band every now and 
then and announce – ‘Tag’ – at which the males who had been standing or 
following the couples on the floor would rush and tap on the back of the 
male partner and begin to dance with his favorite female without wasting any 
time.  Tag dances were usually lengthy to allow male dancers to get a chance 
to dance with females of their choice.  If the demand for ‘Tag Dance’ was 
heavy, the duration of ‘tag’ was shortened to around half a minute; 
sometimes, one hardly was able to hold the hand of a partner and take a 
couple of steps when another guy would show up and tap on the back.

Females who didn’t want to dance with every Tom, Dick and Harry during a 
‘Tag Dance’ kept seated because once on the dancing floor, they could not 
refuse to dance with a male who tapped on their dancing partner, or say ‘I’m 
engaged’, for, if they refused, discussion would start between the two 
males, which sometimes resulted in heated arguments/quarrels followed by a 
fight.

As mentioned earlier, weddings were opportunities to meet and dance with 
known and unknown people.  I also explained in the previous chapter how boys 
used the method of scratching the palm of a girl to find out if she liked 
him or not.  Sometimes, males who regularly worked as laborers at a 
girl’s/woman’s place and who yearned to touch her, thought to themselves a 
wedding was the best chance to touch or hold her in his arms and to convey 
his feelings to her by scratching her hand, but what he didn’t realize was – 
was he worthy?  We know that two people of opposite sex meet and sometimes 
love just happens; one cannot impose it on his/her partner.  This is exactly 
what happened when an undesirable guy made advances towards a girl/woman, 
scratched her palm or held her tight in his arms and thought she belonged to 
him – the result?  She got furious and rejected him outright and walked away 
leaving him high and dry on the dancing floor, thus making him a piece of 
mockery in the eyes of the crowd.  Normally, men know in which water to fish 
and what bait to use but if they use the wrong technique at the wrong time 
and wrong place, they have themselves to be blamed.

There were also some courageous girls/women who played the famous ‘scratch 
the palm’ technique in order to attract and win boys and have them as toy 
boys, and many of them succeeded.  If anyone failed to understand the sign, 
it was his fault and he definitely lost a good chance.  Generally, men know 
how to treat women and they rarely fail to grab an opportunity when it comes 
to them.  Therefore, unlike women, men didn’t mind a female’s scratch on the 
palm even though they didn’t like it, and they never abandoned their 
partners on the floor in the middle of a dance because that would indeed be 
cruel on their part.  Women are delicate; like porcelain.  Therefore, it is 
essential that we handle them with utmost love, care and affection.

Going back to tag dance, sometimes some male partners pretended not to 
notice the ‘tap’ in which case the person wanting to dance would repeat the 
tap, this time with all his might which again resulted in arguments, 
quarrels and fights.  As a result, the tag dance would come to an abrupt 
end, and the second last dance would end up being the last dance of the 
wedding.  The hosts would approach the emcee and ask him to announce the 
last dance.  He would hurriedly get on the stage, catch hold of a megaphone 
(in the olden days there was no electricity; so, crooners and emcees used a 
megaphone to croon/announce), or a mike (after the 1970’s) and announce:  
“Ladies and gentlemen; pick up your partners for the last dance of the 
wedding.”

So, dear readers that was the reason why the “Tag Dance”, which once was 
very famous at a wedding reception, gradually came to an end!

Speaking of ‘Tag Dance’, I attended a dance at Sant Khursachea festak (Holy 
Cross feast) in Calafura or Santa Cruz in May 1968.  Guess whose band was in 
attendance!  It was Chris Perry with Lorna as a crooner who was just 21 
years old then!  The late 1960’s was the peak period of Lorna’s singing 
career.  The crowd was just thrilled with Chris Perry’s lively music and 
Lorna obviously stole the limelight.  Everyone was surprised and annoyed 
when the emcee announced a ‘Tag Dance’ at a private Nite, but he quickly 
added that it was to give a chance to everyone to dance with Lorna.  And 
with that announcement Lorna climbed down the stage and joined the floor.  
Chris Perry played six lengthy numbers, instead of the usual 3 pieces, which 
provided a chance to everyone, including myself, to dance with Lorna.

Nowadays, people do not have ‘Tag Dance’ at a wedding reception because it 
creates unnecessary problems.  Moreover, that strong relationship which 
existed among the relatives in the past has gradually diminished over the 
years.  Most couples nowadays stick together and don’t prefer to dance with 
others.

The ‘Tag Dance’ may be out of fashion at weddings, but it has surfaced 
elsewhere – on the political arena – our politicians have picked it up.  
Today's politics has become a dancing floor of a wedding reception where 
politicians keep on dancing throughout their tenure either as an MLA, a 
Minister or an MP (Minister of Parliament.)  Just like a dancer who is eager 
to dance with a good-looking female, a politician, too, wishes to dance with 
another party's members who attract him/her. In fact, he/she “vazta te 
vatten nachta” (goes with the flow of music!)  Although he/she gets elected 
on a particular party’s ticket, when he/she finds out that there is more 
scope (to make money) or to get a ministerial berth, he/she just taps on 
another prospective politician’s back and says:  ‘May I dance with you?’ 
[May I join your party?]  Obviously, the opposition is ever ready not only 
to accommodate and dance with the new partner but to court with him/her 
anytime.

They say:  ‘Everything is fair in love and war’; the same is applicable to 
our politicians, as yesterday’s enemy becomes today’s friend and vice versa 
and is seen going around hand-in-hand as if he was a “langutti dost” - no 
love is lost.  In the past, if a girl dated more than one boyfriend, the 
public considered her of loose-character and called her “gunn naslelem 
cheddum” (characterless girl); they even branded her as a prostitute.  
Today’s politicians are worse than prostitutes!

The moment a government is formed, it becomes opposition party's holy duty 
to come up with a plan to pull it down right from day one.   In fact, what 
is usually a plain mind turns out to be a devil's workshop where all sorts 
of dirty game plans are fabricated which are gradually implanted into public 
minds at the slightest shortcoming of the government in power.  Even the 
recent amendment to the Anti-Defection Law which requires that a 
representative switching sides resign and seek re-election, did not prevent 
an enthusiastic politician from switching parties and scoring a hat-trick!  
On the dance floor, the ‘Tag dance’ lasts at least for a while but in 
politics, especially in Goa, sometimes the honeymoon is over before even it 
starts.  From January 1990 till December 1994 alone, the state witnessed 
seven governments, with some Chief Ministers lasting for 2 days, 19 days, 
eight months and so on.  Granted, Goans have a good ear for music and are 
good dancers, but why apply the art to politics?  When will our politicians 
learn ethics and put an end to the ‘Tag Dance?’

“XERBOT”

These days, whenever there is a wedding, dozens of soft drink crates of 
several brands – ‘Pepsi’, ‘Coca-Cola’, ‘Seven Up’, ‘Sprite’, ‘Orange’, etc., 
are off-loaded from trucks at the wedding house or hall.  The soft drink 
bottles are placed in large tubs with ice blocks and served as ‘cold 
drinks’.  If the drinks are not cool enough, guests complain to the waiter:  
“Hem soft drink matui thond nam; dusrem hadd.”  (This soft drink is not at 
all cold; get us another one.)

In the past the only soft drink that was served at weddings was “Xerbot.”  
It was prepared in a big “tambeachem bhand” (large copper pot.)  Raspberry 
concentrate was added to a “bhand” full of water and stirred with a stick.  
It was then served to people in an “aguader” (water jug).   One of the 
families which expected a big crowd for their son’s wedding were not sure if 
“xerbot” prepared in a “tambeachem bhandd” would be sufficient.  So, they 
came up with a bright idea.  They poured raspberry concentrate in their 
small well, kept a “razu” (rope) and a “bendul” (pot - Salcete word for 
“kollso”) and asked the guests to draw as much “xerbot” as they wished and 
quench their thirst.

Most people prefer to drink plain water.  It was and it is still the best 
unadulterated drink!

LIQUOR SERVICE AT WEDDING

No Goan wedding was complete without liquor; it was a must for every wedding 
and it was always available in plentiful regardless whether the groom was 
well-to-do or not.

A bar was set up preferably in one of the rooms in a house or a bar counter 
would be set up in one of the corners in the “mattov” close to main entrance 
of the house so supplies could be replenished easily.  During the Portuguese 
rule, ‘St. Pauli Girl’, a German lager ‘cerveja’ (beer), was very famous and 
so was ‘Maceira’ brandy, Porto, Muscatel, Grandjo, Vinho Branco (white wine) 
and Vinho Tinto.  Pakle (Portuguese soldiers) did not drink water after 
food; each one of them drank one bottle of Vinho Tinto instead.  Local 
cashew and palm fenni was always available in plentiful at weddings.  If you 
saw a guy carrying a glass filled with red stuff, it was not “xerbot” but a 
kind of cocktail – palm fenni mixed with “xerbot”, which was called 
“xerbet”.

Usually, after every alternate dance, the emcee announced: ‘The bar is now 
open.’  Some hosts kept the bar open throughout the wedding.  As soon as the 
announcement was made, men rushed to the bar and quenched their thirst.  
Usually, there were at least 3-4 persons serving at the bar.  The guests 
stretched their hands and asked for a drink thus:  “Ar’re mhaka ek beer, ek 
kajuncho/kajel ani ek brandy ghal.”  (Please pour me one beer, and one each 
cashew and brandy peg.)   Another person would place his order thus:  “Mhaka 
ek maddancho/maddel, xerbet ani tambddo vinho ghal.” (Pour me one peg of 
maddancho and a glass each of xerbet and red wine.)   A third person’s order 
would be:  “Ar’re mhaka ek uski ani ek golas beer ghal.”  (Pour me one 
whisky and a glass of beer.)  Many men then preferred to have whisky-beer 
shandygaff.  Of course, pegs were not used in a bar at weddings.  Liquor was 
just poured into glasses.  Usually, each pouring measured around or more 
than two pegs – it was an extra large one.  The idea was to serve more at a 
time in order to reduce frequent visits to the bar, but the drinker didn’t 
realize that.  Thus, if he was used to drink three pegs, he made sure that 
he drank at least four pegs – one extra for the occasion, which got him 
drunk because he had actually consumed more than double his usual quota, and 
this is where all sorts of problems arose.

Once men had a few drinks they became tipsy and found fault practically with 
everything.  Though in queue with others, a person would question and warn 
the guy next to him:  “Ar’re kitem lott’tta?  Moji judi chepon, mirieon, 
vibad zali.  Tum tujem sambav ham!”  (What are you pushing?  My coat is all 
wrinkled up and spoiled now.  You be careful, ok!)  Keep in mind in those 
days practically every man, whether rich or poor, wore a suit at a wedding 
or feast.  A poor person had only one suit but he made its best use by 
wearing it for kazarak, festak ani interrak (funeral.)  In fact, his only 
suit was known as “sonsticho fato” (suit of generations) because it would 
have served him at least two generations!  No doubt, he was upset at those 
who pushed and shoved him and tried to spoil his suit.  When he died, his 
“sonstichem suit” was buried with him.

Special attention had to be paid to the bride’s crowd and made sure that 
none of their members were refused a drink, because, if that happened, one 
could expect a big trouble.  Usually, one of the persons known to both 
crowds was asked to remain close to the bar to intervene and avoid any 
unpleasant scenes.  Such problems arose when some men had too many rounds of 
drinks.  The worse thing was that the very people who had too many drinks 
complained they did not get any drinks – they were going by their usual 
quota not realizing they had already had more than twice their quota.  The 
next day, when people asked one of them:  “Ar’re Forsu, kal Ladruger kazar 
koxem zalem?”  (Hey Francis, how was the wedding at Lazarus’ yesterday?)  He 
answered:  “Xissa; sarkem ponch!”  (What a disgrace, hopeless!)  “Kiteak 
re?”  (Why?)  “Kiteak?  Tavo sukon gelo punn kainch pionk mellonk nam.”  
(Why?  The throat went dry but we didn’t get any drinks!)  Well, some 
mothers do have them, but scenes like those added excitement to the 
olden-day weddings.

Men either used water or “goddeachi sodda” to mix their drinks.  Unlike 
today, soda was not bought in crates but rather manufactured on the spot.  
The soda making machine was set up in a corner close to the bar with old 
soda bottles with marble at the top.  I have written in detail about 
“godd’ddeachi soda” and its making process in my article “ASKRUT, 
GODD’DDEACHI SODDA ani XERBOT” (Ice fruit, marble soda and soft drink.)

Relatives and well-wishers often brought the above-mentioned brands of 
liquor, especially wine in a garrafão (a large bottle of glass measuring a 
gallon enclosed in wicker) as “saguad” (gifts).

It is a pity some weddings in Goa these days don’t serve liquor.

SERVICE

In days gone by, people did not order catering from outside; they hired a 
cook who prepared everything at home.  We had the famous Diogo João cook 
from Parra who was one of the best cooks in Bardez at the time.  The 
following items were served at a wedding:

As soon as the first dance was over, “Letri ani olives ghalun gaiecho sop” 
(beef soup with macaroni alphabets and olives) was served in a soup plate.  
Although a spoon was provided, many people preferred to drink soup directly 
from the plate as if they ate “kunji” in a “vattli” (brass plate.)

Today, a contract is given to a caterer to provide the required food items 
for a wedding, which is transported to the wedding hall and served to the 
crowd by caterer’s waiters.  In the past, the dishes were prepared in a 
“randpacho mattov” (cooking shed) behind the house from where it was served 
by forming a human chain of boys/men and girls/women.  If a spoon or fork or 
a dry item like crocket or patties fell down, it was simply picked up from 
the ground and placed back in the plate; even if somebody saw, it didn’t 
matter; what mattered was the service.  Children then never threw away 
anything that fell down; we just picked it up, blessed it and ate it.

A special person was assigned to look after the band.  He made sure that 
band members did not miss any service and that their glasses were regularly 
filled with drinks – the more drinks you served them, the better they 
played.  Modern-day musicians use drugs to enhance their performance; 
olden-day musicians used hard drinks, especially cashew/palm fenni, which 
kept their spirits always high.  Johnson mostly drank beer; during cold 
season, he took a couple of Maceira Brandy shots.

During the service, the bride is requested to entertain the crowd with the 
traditional Mando, and simultenously a few old timers of both sexes take 
positions on the floor and with their left hand on their hip and scarves in 
their right hand are all set to dance the Mando:

SOGLLEO ROMANSI VACHUNU

Soglleo romansi vachunu
Moga tuka kaddlo re vinchunu
Soglleo romanxi vachunu
Moga tuka kaddlo re vinchunu
Tujea lagim kazar zatolim mhunnu
Kitlo teomp ankvar ravlim hanvu
Tujea lagim kazar zatolim mhunnu
Kitlo teomp ankvar ravlim hanvu

Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa
Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa

Rat-dis nident hanv sopnetam
Disa tukach re ontregtam
Rat-dis nident hanv sopnetam
Disa tukach re ontregtam
Soglleam santank rozar kortam
Tujem zanvcheak santank ulo martam
Soglleam santank rozar kortam
Tujem zanvcheak santank ulo martam

Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa
Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa

Tujich vatt hanv polletalim
Tuje beij ghevnk axetalim
Tujich vatt hanv polletalim
Tuje beij ghevnk axetalim
Ugddas ietoch hanv roddtalim
Deva lagim kakut hanv magtalim
Ugddas ietoch hanv roddtalim
Deva lagim kakut hanv magtalim

Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa
Ai-ai adeus moga
Mog mozo visrunaka
Hea mojea ankvarponnar tempa
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *  *  *
Fulola mogrecho kollo
Amgelea zonela sokolo
Fulola mogrecho kollo
Amgelea zonela sokolo

Teche velo kaddinozo dollo
Sobit to disota itulo
Teche velo kaddinozo dollo
Sobit to disota itulo

Agustinho Bamnnamlo cholo
Gonvddelea Jakinank bhulolo
Agustinho Bamnnamlo cholo
Gonvddelea Jakinank bhulolo
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Voilea ranan kattakoi
Kattakoi kaddta pilam
Voilea ranan kattakoi
Kattakoi kaddta pilam

Kattakoi kaddta mhunn pilam
Tumkam konnem sangilam
Kattakoi kaddta mhunn pilam
Tumkam konnem sangilam

Kaddta zalear kaddumdi pilam
Tantieam ghalinastannam
Kaddta zalear kaddumdi pilam
Tantieam ghalinastannam

Amgea baiek tumger diumchem mhunn
Oxem ami evjilam
Amgea baiek tumger diumchem mhunn
Oxem ami evjilam
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Bannavliche Monti sokolo
Roddtai kole - choi-choi-choi
Bannavliche Monti sokolo - roddtai kole

Muje baraborche ankvar chole
Kazar zalet - choi-choi-choi
Muje baraborche ankvar chole - kazar zalet

Ani kazar zainu bore suttole
Vignantule - voi-voi-voi
Ani kazar zainu bore suttole - vignantule
*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
Choi-choi-choin-choinu, choire choinu, choin oll’lle moje dolle
Amger matxe eixi zalear polle
Choi-choi-choin-choinu, choire choinu, choin oll’lle moje dolle
Amger matxe eixi zalear polle
Amger matxe eixi zalear polle
Amger matxe eixi zalear polle

After the third dance was over, a cheese plate containing one each 
beef-roast sandwich, pork-rost sandwich, chutney sandwich, crocket and 
patties was served.

People had to be extra careful while serving and make sure that nobody 
missed a service or else there would be serious problems, especially if the 
person belonged to bride’s side and vice versa.  I distinctly remember one 
such incident in 1959.  One of our neighbors, got married to a girl from 
Curtorim.  One carreira load of people arrived for the wedding which took 
place at his sister’s house which is about 100 meters distance from my 
house.  Everything went on well until one of the female relatives from the 
bride’s side missed the second service of sandwiches, patties and crocket.  
All of a sudden “voklelo sogllo lok” (the whole crowd from bride’s side) 
walked out of the “mattov” and went and sat in the verandah of my house.  
Efforts from groom’s relatives, elders, neighbors and friends to get them 
back in the “mattov’ failed.  When the bridal couple came to know, they 
walked to my house and it took them around half an hour to convince that it 
was not done intentionally.  The crowd finally agreed to return to the 
function only after the bridal couple apologized for the mistake, which 
actually was not theirs.

The emcee announces the next dance.

“Gentlemen, please engage your partners for a medley of Rumba-Samba, 
Cha-cha-cha and our favorite Kunnbi dance.”

After the fifth dance was over, chicken “ixttuv” (stew) followed by pork 
sausage pulao with “kismis” (raisins) was served.  Although a fork was 
provided, most people preferred to eat pulao with hand, just as they ate 
rice at home.  An “udkachi baldi” (bucket) filled with water and a “tambieo” 
was always kept in a corner outside the “mattov” for people to wash their 
hands after the service.  The basmati rice used then was so good, the moment 
it was cooked its aroma filled the whole house as well as the “mattov!”

During this service, an exhibition of sophisticated dances was held, which 
usually was performed by the aristocrats.  But the layGoans caught up with 
their masters, mustered the art and made it a common man’s dance

The emcee announces the next dance.

“Ladies and gentlemen please take your positions for the Kontradans which 
will be followed by Lanceira.”

As soon as the elderly heard this announcement, they sprang from their 
seats, approached their partners and began to dance their favorite dance.  
It was interesting to watch very old couples who could hardly walk 
participate in the dance.

Just before the last dance, a person brought a wooden tray filled with 
wedding cake pieces.  The newly-wedded couple went around the hall and 
distributed the cake to all the guests.

The emcee announces the next dance.

“Gentlemen, please engage your partners for the last dance – last dance 
please.”  And with that announcement, the band would play everyone’s 
favorite number “ADEUS KORCHEA VELLAR”.  Here are the lyrics of the song 
which were penned down by the late Reginaldo Fernandes, “Patxai 
Romansincho”, (King of Konkani novels) and sung by the late great Allen 
Costa:

“ADEUS KORCHEA VELLAR” by the late Alen Costa

Balo boslo mojea kallzar
Ami doxim zanvchea vellar
Naka dislo sogllo sonvsar
Moga adeus korchea vellar

Mojea lagim anik kaim ek naslem
Othmo ani kalliz tukach dilem

Chintnam ubon gelim varear
Gupit ekloch zalom fugar
Dukam denvlim mojea polear
Moga adeus korchea vellar

Dukham dektoch dolleam mukar
Kalliz dukin zalem thonddgar
Roddlom chintun khontincho bhar
Moga adeus korchea vellar

Vegim mevcheak, magtam Deva lagim
Ekttaim zanvcheak, novean dogaim ami

Nimnno abras dinvchea vellar
Kalluk ailo mojea dollear
Chintnam motin riglim sabar
Moga adeus korchea velar

(From Dom’s antique shelf)

As soon as the last dance was over, bebinca and black coffee was served.  A 
cup of black coffee early in the morning was fantastic, especially if one 
had too many rounds of drinks.

When the function was about to end, and before the guests could leave, the 
bride and the groom wished and thanked everyone by singing the following 
verse:

“Dev borem korum tumkam eilolea lokak
Vhoddli khuxealkai bhogta aiz amchea jivak
Vaitt borem kiteim tumkam dislam zalear
Magtanv upkar, zainam zavnk mhunnon ragar”

(Thank you all for coming and gracing the occasion
We are delighted to witness your presence
If anything went wrong, we apologize; please excuse us.)

The band then plays the final piece “for he’s a jolly good fellow 
…..hep-hep-hurray” and youngsters from both the sides lift up the bride and 
the groom and go around with them until they are allowed to have the first 
public kiss – not lip-to-lip but cheek-to-cheek.  Sometimes if a bride or 
groom was stout, they placed her/him on a chair and lifted her/him up along 
with it.  As soon as men lifted up the bride, she threw away the bouquet and 
one of the girls in the crowd caught it.  It was believed she would be the 
next person to get married!

Today, most of what I mentioned above has disappeared – everything has 
become short.  The bridal couple goes to the church and once the nuptials 
ceremony is over, they proceed to the hall but never in time.  If the 
invitation card mentions the reception at 7:00 p.m., the bridal couple 
arrives in the hall socegado at 08:30 p.m. - the result?  The invited guests 
hardly get any entertainment, as nowadays there are timings for night 
functions – they must end by 11:00 p.m. failing which there are penalties to 
be paid, unless an official extension order from the Collector’s Office is 
obtained in advance.  So, who do you think is the loser?  Of course, the 
couple!  They spend a lot of money but fail to get its worth – the band 
won’t reduce their charges because they played less, the hall charges won’t 
be reduced because the dance floor was not fully utilized, and so on.

As mentioned earlier, the night weddings then started at around 9:00 p.m. 
and ended as late as 7:00 a.m.  There was no electricity; petromax was the 
only source of light at night.  They were available on hire until the 
“Basurkar” bought some and lent them, free of charge; thus, the people who 
gave them on hire lost business.

The petromax had to be attended every now and then and air pumped into it or 
else it would conk off.  Whenever a petromax was about to conk off, boys/men 
would shout and say:  “Ar’re to petromax jemeta; taka matxem varem mar nam 
zalear to mortolo.”  (Hey, the petromax is dosing; please pump some air into 
it or else it will conk off!)  Despite warnings, sometimes petromaxes went 
off and the darkness was celebrated with shouts of joy; if it happened while 
dancing and if the partners were known to each other, they surely stole a ‘a 
kiss in the dark’ and made their night!   Do you remember the following 
lines from a Dekhnni?

Dansak gelolim tednam eka cholean nachonk kaddli mhaka
Dansak gelolim tednam eka cholean nachonk kaddli mhaka
Dive palovle tednam tea cholean beiju dilo mhaka
Dive palovle tednam tea cholean beiju dilo mhaka

Since there was no electricity, there were no fans or Air conditioning then. 
 Each female carried with her a hand-held fancy “ain’no” (fan) with 
beautiful designs.  Once a dance was over, the ladies returned to their 
seats and immediately opened their fans and fanned themselves.  They then 
waited for the boys to pick them for the next dance and when they 
approached, they obliged them without any fuss.  When they were picked for 
the next dance, they left their “ain’ne” with their mothers or sisters or 
relatives.

At the end of a wedding most people would disperse but close relatives, 
neighbors and friends would hang around to perform the last rite of the 
wedding – “xim portop” (reciprocation of border).  In this rite, people from 
both the sides bid good-bye to each other across a temporary border.  While 
groom’s crowd remained “altoddi” (on their side of the border), people from 
bride’s side were asked to go to “poltoddi” (the other side of the border).  
Once both crowds were separated, an elderly person marked the border by 
pouring fenni in a straight line.  He also passed on at least one bottle 
each of cashew and palm fenni to the other side.  Each side then wished all 
the best and also apologized by saying:  “Ami khuimchorui chukleanv zalear 
amkam guneanv bhogsat.”  (If we wronged anywhere, please forgive us.)  The 
bride’s crowd repeatedly requested the groom and his crowd:  “Amchea 
cheddvacho boro poramos korat.”  (Look after our girl well.)  Once “xim 
portop” was performed, people were not supposed to cross either side, as it 
could result in bad consequences; here again, evil spirits were involved.  
In those days, a “xim portop” sometimes lasted for a long time, especially 
if there were good singers on either side which resulted in a kind of 
unending Mando singing competition.  Well, these formalities are rarely 
performed these days because weddings take place in halls, but there are 
still some who follow the tradition with a short cut of “xim” outside the 
wedding hall.

SOTRIKARN:  The “sotrikarn” was a woman who carried a “tambddi, viludachi 
sotri” (red, velvet material covered umbrella) for the bride.  She became 
part of bride’s company in every movement until the whole marriage process 
was over, including the “portovnnem” (reciprocation.)  Do you remember the 
following lines of a Dekhnni:

Manank mojea sotri lavn, sotri lavn, vor kunhada
Manank mojea sotri lavn, sotri lavn, vor kunhada
Manank mojea savllechean, savllechean vor kunhada
Manank mojea savllechean, savllechean vor kunhada

One of the duties the “sotrikarn” was entrusted with was to look after the 
evil spirits throughout bride’s journey from her home to the church, to the 
photo studio and back to her new home, and later from her husband’s house 
back to her house on the third day for “portovnnem”.  As I have explained in 
my article “Devchar (Evil Spirits) ani Voijinn Maim”, people then believed 
in evil spirits and it was believed that they controlled the roads, 
especially road crossings, including a “Tiskem” (connection of three roads – 
a T-shaped road) where a lot of “azneri” (strange incidents) took place.  
How did she please the evil spirits?  She carried enough “pan-bedde” (betel 
leaf & nuts) in a “poti” (cloth bag), which she tucked to her waistline.  
The moment they reached a cross road/tiskem, she would remove one of the 
“pan-beddo” from her bag and throw it away, supposedly for it to be picked 
up by the evil spirits who would get busy eating it rather than attacking or 
doing something bad for the bride.  When transportation became available, 
the “sotrikarn” always sat by the window so she could toss out the 
“pan-beddo” at every road crossing.   She strictly instructed the bride not 
to look back while she did the job either while they walked the distance or 
traveled by a car.  While the “xim portop” took place, the “sotrikarn” 
quietly moved aside and did her duty – tossed out a “pan-beddo”.

The “sotrikarn” also accompanied “ezman” (bride’s mother) with the “sotri” 
when she went around inviting people in the ward for the “portovnnem”.  The 
“ezman” would hurriedly visit each neighbor’s house and invite neighbors 
thus:  “Hanv portovnneank sangonk eileam; vegim kens-matem korat ani mattvan 
eiat.”  (I have come to invite you for the reception at our place; comb your 
hair, dress up quickly and come to the pavilion.)

In Anjuna, the red “sotri” was available on hire in Mazalvaddo at 
“Celestinamger/Ana-Mariger”; in Mapusa it was available at Bhairão shop.  
The only “sotrikarn” I knew in Anjuna from my childhood until the 1970’s was 
Mrs. Idalina Fernandes, who was colloquially known to all as Idalgem.

The following was missed out earlier in the article:

“The dowry was handed in to the groom’s family either on the eve of the 
wedding or on the wedding day as the bride was formally accepted in the 
house i.e., after the “vhor bhitor kaddop” (entrance ceremony) was over.  
Those who gave the least dowry chose to hand it in on the previous day 
because it was not something to brag about, but those who gave huge amounts 
as dowry preferred to hand it in on the wedding day so everyone could see it 
and knew that a large sum was given as dowry.  Here is how the dowry was 
handed in:  A table cloth or a scarf was placed on a plate/soup plate or a 
serving tray and a tiny statue of “Menino Jesus” (Infant Jesus) was placed 
in it; a few “abolim” were placed in the plate/tray.  The entire dowry 
amount was not placed in the plate/tray nor was it counted in public; 
instead, hundred-rupee notes were placed in the plate/tray – each 
hundred-rupee note denoted one thousand rupees – for example, if a dowry of 
Rs.10,000 was agreed upon, ten hundred-rupee bills would be found in the 
plate/tray, which the boy’s parents or an elderly person would pick up, 
count and say: “Sarke asat” (It’s as agreed.)  The statue of Infant Jesus 
served as a witness to the whole dowry transaction.”

Nuptials were never held during the advent or lent period.

                                                                            
              To be continued ………..

Moi-mogan,

Domnic Fernandes
Anjuna/Dhahran, KSA

_________________________________________________________________
Add a Yahoo! contact to Windows Live Messenger for a chance to win a free 
trip! 
http://www.imagine-windowslive.com/minisites/yahoo/default.aspx?locale=en-us&hmtagline

_______________________________________________
Goanet mailing list
Goanet@lists.goanet.org
http://lists.goanet.org/listinfo.cgi/goanet-goanet.org