I have often questioned myself in those rare moments of introspection, whether my fate in being born in a Goan family could have been more interesting if I was part of some other culture than Goan. I am not speaking of the acquisition of material gain for that is determined by the individual and by luck or fate. In this respect I would have been better off being born in a hard-nosed Jewish, or Sindhi or Gujarati community where the odds would have been stacked in my favor, but no, I am not talking of that.
I am talking of other things like honesty, good character, simplicity, ability to see the goodness in others, to laugh, to pray, to indulge and be thankful for the good things that life has provided, no matter how little or how much. No, I am not talking of a simple life, I am talking of being in a culture that makes life simple. I have never been less ambitious or aggressive in the pursuit of anything I wanted just because I am a Goan. It is not doggedness or ambition that I lack because of being a Goan, just the ability to accept the results without any disappointment or excessive pride in achievement if achievement has resulted. Is that a good thing or a bad thing I ask myself. Should I not be gloomy if I have worked hard toward a goal and the post has just been moved further? Would the disappointment make me strive even more to shoot that goal, or just give up? I find the answers in the memories of a prayer service in a little chapel of Loutulim I remember so well. In the harking back to my standing at the rear of a worshipping novena crowd gathered around a whitewashed cross on a village road. In the hearts and minds of the people who sang praises to God in discordant but full-throated voices. Not reflecting on what they sang, the words, the meanings, but singing with full-hearted devotion and simplicity nevertheless. If God had to walk by and hear them, sense their faith in Him, in life and in what they could expect and not expect, He would have been proud. All the singing in the world's grandest churches and cathedrals would not have equalled this. In moments like these, I am proud to be a Goan. Roland Francis _______________________________________________ Goanet mailing list [email protected] http://lists.goanet.org/listinfo.cgi/goanet-goanet.org
