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Unemployment is not something new it has existed since times immemorial,
but it has become a big problem these days because life patterns have
changed drastically.
A century ago, most Goans were unemployed. They lived on agriculture and
fishing. Very few had education. Whoever had basic education ventured out
of Goa, namely to East Africa, on ships and in the Gulf where they took up
employment, but most of them had to leave their families behind. Vacations
were not as frequent as today. They came home once every three years or so.
In the absence of the head of family, the wife had to seek help from men
from neighborhood or husbands friends, who were mostly unemployed. These
men took advantage and befriended with house wives. A little help every day
resulted in personal friendships. Many husbands learned about their wives
infidelity but were helpless and had to play hosts to their wives friends
when they came home on vacation. Many turned a blind eye because there was
nothing much they could do; it was too late. There is something called
soimbachi goroz (natures need), which they had failed to fulfill with
their wives due to their long absence; they understood it and accepted their
fault. The word divorce then was alien to Goans. Once married, the
couple blindly followed the vow taken at the nuptials: To have and to hold
from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in
sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.
The persons who enjoyed illicit friendship were referred to as kumar (kept
woman/mistress) ani kumpar (toy boy). Religion-based relationship of
kumadre/kumar (godmother) and kumpadre/kumpar (godfather) also sometimes
resulted in intimate relationships. Usually, when people came to know that
a guy frequented a wifes house whose husband was away, they would comment
thus: Tea Forsuk ani Luizak borem assam (That Francis is friendly with
Luiza) or Forsu Luizak ghevn asa (Francis is living with Luiza) or Forsu
kumarik ghevn asa (Francis is living with his mistress.) If a toy boy was
relatively younger than his mistress, she was referred to as aunty
Tiskea voile Roz-Mari antik ani Lorsuk borem asa, vo to Roz-Mari antik
ghevn asa (Lawrence is friendly with that Rose-Marie aunty from T-road
junction or he is living with Rose-Marie aunty.)
Here are the lyrics of a Konkani song Moje Kumar (My mistress) by one of
the famous Konkani singers, Lawrence de Tiracol, who talks about
relationship between a kumar ani kumpar, especially the treatment a
kumpar receives from a kumar and the loss felt by him when she is no
more. I liked the song very much, especially the wailing part. Take for
example the line Xitan sungttam purun ditele-e-e-e, mogache moje kumar
ghe-e-e-e-e-e, which roughly translated means You would serve me shrimps
by burying them in rice (so, husband wouldnt notice) my loving mistress.
In the olden days, the head of a family always got a bigger share of
everything, including fish at lunch/dinner, because he was the bread winner;
but for him there would be no food on the table (read floor, as generally
there were no dining tables then); hence, he deserved more. So, how could a
wife serve more to somebody who was not even a family member and that, too,
in her husbands presence? The only way to serve him extra shrimps/fish was
to place them in the plate and cover them with rice. Mind you, he would
also get the usual share, which was visible to all. Lucky guy!!! Some
mothers, given a chance to serve their children when at relatives or
friends place, did and still do this serve an extra piece of fish and
hide it under rice:
MOJE KUMAR by Lawrence de Tiracol
I
Tin muine zalet sumar, arre melear moji kumar
Ratim sopnan ievn, mhaka mhunno lagli mojea mogachea kumpar
Koddko mhunn zatam fugar, Devacher zalam ragar
Kumar astannam duddu ditali, ozaranche ozar
RODDOP (Wailing)
Xitan sungttam purun ditele-e-e-e, mogache moje kumar ghe-e-e-e-e-e
Mhaka soddun gelii kuma-a-a-a-r, tujea mornancho mevlonam suma-a-a-a-r,
kumar moje
Chorus
Kumar moji jiti asleli tednam
Mhaka gorom-gorom khavnk ditali sannam
Mhunno kumpar mhaka soddinakaim tum kednam
Noko zalom morot mhunnon ednam
II
Kumar poituch hanstali, ani murgotton loztali
Mhaka kumpar, kumpar, kumpar mhunnon vengen dhortali
Rechad pamplit kortali, godd kaldin khavoitali
Mojea kanank mogan ghans marun I love you mhunntali
RODDOP (Wailing)
Kumparik fottovn duddu ditele-e-e-e, mogache moje kumar ghe-e-e-e-e-e
Tukam axetam hanv kuma-a-a-a-r, dolleam mukar khevta tuzo rupka-a-a-a-r,
kumar moje
Chorus
Kumar rosan buddovn xevieo khavnk ditali
Kumpar-kumpar mhunnon aplea hathin bhoroitali
Kumpar ievchea adim mogan mhaka navoitali
Padd poddonv nodor mista zali
III
Kumar sonvoim laileai tuvem, aiz gomttean poddlam daem
Mhaka donparam-saje sodanch munge kopachem zaem
Barrankar ghalun moem, moje moddunk sodtat paem
Kumar astannam, ozaranim notttti, barranim moddleo hanvem
RODDOP (Wailing)
Kumparicho Inglez soro chorun ditele-e-e-e, moga-a-ache moje kumar
ghe-e-e-e-e-e
Atam kontri pasun pietam, sodda ghalunk poiso nam, sukoch gheta-a-a-am kumar
moje
Chorus
Kumar ugddas tuzo ietoch golloitam dukam
Tuje vinnem kumar sonvsar ho dista nakam
Sogllem ditalii tum axetam ghe hanv tukam
Kumar sopnan veng mar mhakam
Moje kumar!
Thats all from Doms antique shelf!
Moi-mogan,
Domnic Fernandes
Anjuna/Dhahran, KSA
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