Hope this helps. I first sent these boiler-plate letters in 2010 to help men. The first letter below is for men who need to call in sick at work during World Cup football. All you need to do is fill in your Supervisor's name, your name and send.
Dear Supervisor ________: Every four years around this time I get ill. Very ill such that my doctor has advised complete rest at home in front of the TV till I feel well again. Or at least until the World Cup Football final is over. Furthermore, my doctor has advised me to minimize use of the internet to only dumb urban legend posts and fake anti-Obama emails which are regularly circulated and which every 5 year-old knows is fake but I assume are true. Hence, I cannot work from home. Since my medical condition is a special case with ongoing tests being done, we cannot currently isolate the disease. However, for my Personnel file and Sick leave documentation, please pick any random disease from this list http://www.cdc.gov/DiseasesConditions/ Do not pick any sexual disease as I am not a politician with my pants unzipped. I expect to make a complete recovery by July 14. For times, I am most likely to be very sick and unreachable by phone, see http://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/index.html Wishing the company continued success. Your loyal employee, xyz ________________ The letter below is for men to address their wives during World Cup football. All you need to do is fill in your wife's name and your name and send. In the case of politicians fill in your wife's name, mistress' name, girlfriend's name, etc. Dear gorgeous, most beautiful, most understanding _________ I have just returned from the doctor's office and have some sad news. My life is at risk and only drastic measures over 5 weeks will save me. Even the chiropractor, mail-order medical scam artist, untrained homeopath, part-time ayurvedic practitioner, all agree I need 5 weeks in a comfortable chair to recover starting June 12. To improve my eyesight (which will make me appreciate the things you do even more) I also need eye exercises. Lo and behold, they all agree that watching World Cup football is just the right eye treatment. As you know, I always follow the doctor's advice. I have also been advised to watch the pre-game and post-game shows and analyses. This could run about 18 hours a day over 5 weeks, which means no time for anything romantic, including our 25th wedding anniversary celebration. Please understand, I am doing this for health reasons. I need your help now more than ever, including some chilled beer and chips at regular intervals which will speed up my recovery. I want to live long to see the grandchildren grow up. Yes, I am doing this for them. I expect to make a complete recovery by July 14. For times, I am most likely to be very sick and in need of solitude, seehttp://www.fifa.com/worldcup/matches/index.html Wishing you strength through this difficult period. Your true love, xyz P.S. Tesco's and Safeway both have good sales on beer and chips.
