Hi Dr Luis, More of it please! Probably, your's is one of the most pleasant posts on Goanet. Thanks.
Joel. On Tue, Oct 7, 2014 at 8:40 PM, Luis Vas <[email protected]> wrote: > To: > > > > > ------------------------------ > > Subject: Fwd: Fw: Goan humour > > > ------------------------------ > > > GOAN MLAsA driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the Panjim-Mapuca highw > > Nothing has moved for half an hour, when suddenly a man knocks on the > window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, > "What's going on?"* > > The man tells him that Russians down the road have kidnapped some Goan > MLAs. > > "They're asking for a 10 million ransom or they're going to douse > them with petrol and set them on fire. Several people are going from car to > car, to make a collection." > The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on an average?" > The man replies, "Most people are giving about a litre." > > > IT PAYS TO LEARN KONKANI... > A Goan farmer walking through his field notices a fellow drinking water > straight from the pond with one hand. > > The Goan shouts, 'Arre baba, tem udaak pienaka. Tantun gorvan ani dukor > hagtat!', which means, 'Don't drink the water; the cows and the pigs crap > in it!' > The man shouts back, 'I don't understand your gibberish. > Speak English, you idiot!' > The Goan shouts back in English, 'Use both hands, you'll get more!' > > GOAN JEWS > Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are American Jews and had come to Goa > with a troop of Israelis for some R&R. While sitting at a local taverna, it > came upon Benjie to ask, "Are there any Goan Jews? > > "I don't know," Oscar replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" The rest of > the troop had no idea either. When the waiter came by, > Benjie asked him, "Are there any Goan Jews?" > > "I not know sir, I check," the waiter replied, and he went to speak to > the bartender. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, > sir. No Goan Jews." > "Are you sure?" Benjie asked. > "I checking again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the bartender. > While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews > in Goa, our people are scattered everywhere." > When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Goan Jews.." > "Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there are no > Goan Jews." > "Sir, I check," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange > Jews, mango Jews and pineapple Jews, but Patrao not knows Goan Jews! If > you > like, you can even have Feni with Jews." *(Juice)* > > > > > GOANS CAUSING PROBLEMS IN HEAVEN > The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said "I have to talk to you. We have > some Goencars up here in Heaven and they are causing problems. > They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing > *kashtis* and saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes > and BMW's instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to > people at discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven > clear since they keep crouching down midway eating Sannas and Sorpotel. > Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!" > The Lord said, "Goans are Goans. Heaven is home to all my children. If you > want to know about real problems, give Satan a call." > Satan answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.." > Satan returned to the phone, "OK I'm back. What can I do for you?" > > Gabriel replied, "I just wanted to know what kind of problems > you're having down there." > Satan says, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." > After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now > what was the question?" > Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?" > Satan says, "Man I don't believe this.........Hold on." > This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, > > "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. These Goans from the > Gulf down here have put out the fire in hell and are trying to install > air conditioning!!! > > > KONKANI COMPUTERS > The Coalition Government in Goa has managed to come to at least one > unanimous decision: They have commissioned Bill Gates to create a Konkani > Version of Windows 2007 exclusively for Goa and other konkan regions in > India . > The Microsoft Team is already hard at work on this new totally > new interactive CD-ROM up-grade, which is to be called "ZONELAM 2010". > In this > version, a mouse shall be called UNDIR. A mouse buttom shall be > called UNDRACHO BUTAO. > As ZONELAM 2010 opens, the theme music shall be "UNDRA MOJEA MAMA". > > Here is a preview of some commands which have already been worked out > by the Microsoft Team Goa: > > Ignore = Mar Shendi > Exit = Vashimbor > Click = Fottu Kadd > Double Click = Don Fottu Kadd > Byte = Ghass Mar > Save = Bankan dorr > Hide = Lipoi > Unhide = Sogleank dakoi > Hang = Lamboi > Stop = Tamboi > Move = Aloi > Turn = Pettoi > Turn off = Paloi > Delete = Zok Mar > Open = Dakoi > Enter = Bhitor voch > Insert = Bhitor ghal > > PageUp = Voir cadd > > PageDown = Sokol ghal > BackSpace = Fattlean suat > Close = Bonn cor > Save = Samavun dhor > Home = Ghara voch > > End = Kabar> * > > > -- > "be what you are and say what you feel....b'coz those who mind don't > matter....and those who matter don't mind." > > > > > > ------------------------------ > Make the world eco-friendly through MSN Green Drag n' drop > <http://green.in.msn.com/> >
