“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief, but gratitude” Thornton Wilder
Memories to treasure My sister Ilda was 4 yrs younger to me and a very good and loving companion till there was a new born sister, Lydia after a gap of 9 years..I do not recall any childish fights with my elder sister, but then most of the time I was either in the boarding schools around Goa and College in Bombay. We had difficult times financially speaking but comfortable life by old standards of living. She gave up her school studies early unable to cop up with home constraints too with three of her close colleagues. At the age of 19, we accepted a proposal for her marriage with the stiff conditions that she stays with us, until she has a home of her own. I was just entering into service after graduation and my father was to retire the next year. Three children were born to her two sons and a daughter and she was fortunate to receive all the guidance and support from us. She moved out after about 10 years with the dream of entering her own independent home in close proximity.. The detachment, separation with her and family was a body blow, an agonizing pain. That day was very sad for me with my attachment and seeing the little ones moving out too .She had a happy marriage with a most wonderful caring husband,. Her standard of living and life changed for better and that made us happy . I always had a very soft corner for her and would readily forgive and forget the little misunderstandings of casual nature. She had the satisfaction of seeing her children graduate and settle in life and marriage. She gave her time and best efforts to the growing up of grandchildren too, who were extremely fond of her. When they left her because of education, she was heartbroken, sad for, missing their closeness to her and emptiness , except on holidays, when she would burst once again into frenzied activities. Her elder son gave her a holiday, a flight out of Goa about which she had natural and constant apprehensions. It was her first ever travel by a plane and that too without any company. It was her well deserved, coincidentally her last and only holiday abroad We mentally and physically prepared her for a comfortable journey She had pleasant memories of her visit captured on CD and she cherished ,loved the wonderful experience and talked about it so often . Soon thereafter she was taken seriously ill, not knowing that she would never ever completely recover from the dreaded disease. Immediate and specific medical treatment saw her back on feet, going about her daily routine filling us with hope that she would soon return to normal health. Her husband was a great support, comfort and took maximum care and provided her with the best he could till the very end. The sudden and unexpected demise of her second son , struck her like a bolt of lightning an devastating earthquake, shattering her immune system to a new low thus multiplying her immediate woes. She seemed to have lost all hopes and had no wish to live any longer with this unexpected, terrible and inconsolable experience. She mourned for him very dearly being in constant touch with her, as he operated from his residence. The married daughters pains and agonies, as she unfolded to me, troubled her immensely and was totally depressed by the events, that could not be remedied through her intervention. The best of medical treatment continued unabated, for two years, but she started losing hope and seemed to give a fight for the burdens were to heavy for her frail shoulders. She waited eagerly for the annual visit of her elder son ,combating her illness .Her last public engagement was the mass and reception of her grandchild at the first Eucharistic celebration. It appeared that that was the last thing on her mind and quickly started sinking. We had prepared for outward journey months ahead. I knew that she would not last my return. I extended all my last efforts as best as I could and visited her several times before my departure including the last day .She became uncommunicative in the end and apparently in immense pain. She received my departure with tears in her eyes in complete silence. She departed on the very next day on my departure without troubling any further , The news of her passing away reached much before my reaching destination, but was broken to me by my daughters in USA in a cool manner. My resovoir of tears had dried long ago, knowing the nature of her illness for which, wishful thinking and prayers were only consolation. From that distance my heart sank with heavy pain, unable to pay my last respects and not to be a part of the family The merciful Lord relieved her of agonies and did not leave her long to be a burden for which she always prayed. Her elder son and family were present for the last rites. I missed the occasion, but that is formal , social tradition ,as I did what I had to do during her life time. My son became the only representatives with all my children out of the place. My sister always depended on me for guidance till her children were married could decide for themselves most of the time. I miss my simple, loving and unassuming sister with dry tears and heavy heart. I am relieved that our lord touched her in the most beautiful way in the end Memories are the only treasures I possess for ever through this tribute of love and affection. Her third death anniversary on 18. Novemeber 2014 will bring back a torrent of memories, with which I am forced to live till the very end My heart and mind has a permanent place for my dear loving sister Nelson lopes Chinchinim Click here to *Reply* or *Forward* *3.78*
