HOW AND WHY TO REMEMBER THE DEPARTED The loss of loved ones, specially creates emotional void. It leads to either conscious or unconscious acts of sentiments , behavior to reciprocate our emotional ,personal gratitude. The same is true of anyone individual ,near or far away relatives, National, International, state, local or neighbourhood, The sense of involvement, attachment depends on our intimate or casual relationship with the departed. The departed cannot be gratified by our remembrance or be insulted by our failure to honour them . Yet remembering and recognizing their contributions serves as an example to emulate and recall their achievements.The highest tributes to the departed is not grief, but gratitude. We may desire to be indebted for the sacrifices they made, inheritance we enjoy to honour or redeem our promises, thus insulate us from guilt complex of being indifferent ungrateful.Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal. The greatest monument to the departed is space to live in our hearts and minds, however short or of transient nature .In case of close relatives, friends one may be drawn by compulsion of neglect ,fear, indifference during their waking life and thus we may seek now as a compensation to soothe our conscience, fearing retribution from tormented souls.
The approach to immortalize the departed may vary from religious belief, social customs and status , traditions, , financial clout, professional standing, political positions, power or institutional level, The funeral services and elaborate preparations are limited according to the individual standing. Polticians, heads of Govt and states, are laid in state for the followers to pay respect, flags flown half mast , gun salutes and mourning period declared. Samadhis, temples, sacred places monuments are also built in their honour. Annual prayer services and seminars mark their dates. There may be rejoicing, celebrations on death or wailing and mourning for a certain period associated with the departed, Wearing of black attire or formal dress signifies sad demise and respect at funerals. Abstinence from public celebrations of events or participations is limited, Graves are decorated, or remains interned in specially created niches. Memories may be frozen in frame, albums. CD`s for posterity. Catholics offer sacrifice of the mass at interval of a month, six months, year, two years, closing traditional religious rituals, customs after three years. Monuments may adorn public places, Institutions, sports field, bridges, airfields, social programmes bear their them, seminars and lectures conducted in their honour Stadiums, sports tournaments, gardens, bridges roads, Museums, Institutions designated in their names., Prizes and scholarships established, financial help extended to the needy in hospitals orphanages, old aged homes and to the destitute. On special occasions like anniversaries, weddings, death and birth etc food , clothing, uniforms , medicines, school stationery and refreshments etc are also distributed in an attempt to appease the dead . Financial aid is also donated to charities, schools, religious places of worship and other institutions .Hearse vans, ambulances, portable morgues, wheel chairs, artificial limbs, spectacles etc, also find a means in honour of the dead Medical camps are other means to reach the needy in their memories,Embalming, freezing is in vogue with high status and prominence. Pyramids of Egypt are resting place for the nobles and special cemetries set apart for the rulers. Their successful stories of valour are also captured, documented and hence immortalized on films and through sound and, music , Statues on high pedestal in prominent places glorify their worth. Ashes of cremated are preserved for veneration and monuments mark the graves The common people have their own ways and system to immortality in simple and humble manner. Wreathes, bouquets, flowers ,prayers also communicate our respect for the dead. The heirs and adopted are also considered as propagating at best the living memories If one waited till one felt like writing, it may never happen. Accept that words can never fully express, but language can still be a solace, comfort, hope and inspiration. Hence essays, books, seminars, lectures ,are devoted to the departed. Martyrs day in India, memorial day in USA, all souls and saints day hold the dead in high esteem and reverence. The living are important, but the departed have left a legacy for our sustenance. National currencies carry their photos and so also the postage stamps. Nations that honour their departed set an example of gratitude to be perpetuated in future and thus honour themselves Nelson Lopes Chinchinim
