CELEBRATE LIFE,RESPECT DEATH We are victims of customs and traditions, culture of hypocrisy and consciously or unconsciously adhere to them. One wonders why we glorify the dead, instead of emphasis on living The customs are different for different religious sects, but all are dtermined to appease the souls. Sometimes we are burdened with guilt complex, fear of souls in our behavior, attitude and actions desiring to compensate and make amends. Relatives are frightened and fear reprisals from souls for negligence and treatment when alive “Lament for a day then forget for a year. “ “Why inscribe on the tomb stone, when the dead will not hear, read or see? “ “”Dead are important, but not as much as the living” “. Value life before death”. A wife was in for a rude shock ,when husband responded that he will give her fitting burial. Relatives will fly across continents to attend the funeral and see the corpse, pay obeisance to the casket and be seen as concerned,. Politicians specially flaunt their presence apparently in sympathy but more for publicity. A son spent quality time with her, when alive but absent at the funeral, which was the talk of the town. Elaborate, expensive arrangements are in place to bury, then time spent on saving life on medical treatment .Our tears often are a farce, more for public consumption on death. The body is decked in new attire from head to foot, but that was not the concern when alive. Mountain of flower bouquets, wreaths are offered, but none when alive. The ribbons records our presence and respects, which are collected as reminders. The dead are presented in temples, churches offered religious services etc in which they never believed in real life. The corpse will travel in a flower decked funeral carriage, when in life he was forced to trudge distances on feet. Visiting the sick when ailing is not a apriority, but rushing first to the funeral is .The graves are tastefully decorated, but that treatment was missing when alive .Presence at the funeral is a social occasion and is driven more by desire to see the relatives and meet friends , not the dead, hence is a poor substitute for absence when alive .Those not in talking terms will make their presence felt to convey friendly relationships. At months mind, first death anniversary or three years, the occasions are marked with special memorable celebrations and gifts. Obituaries proclaim family standings, rather than announcement of day`s event. The remains will be entombed in a niche, adored as sacred, frequent visits to cemetery, monuments are raised in memory. Alms and donations to orphanages, religious places old age homes, perpetual masses, food, clothes for the needy to appease the souls and not a sign professing love and gratitude The wearing of black attire was a traditional sign of mourning, which in the past was occasion to others to pray for the souls
Whatsoever we desire to do, say to our loved ones needs to be do when they are alive even in a simplest manner .The living will appreciate, feel the pulse of gratitude and breath their last satisfied and contended. Over pouring of grief may at best may have cathartic effect and feel good factor to unburden the submerged guilt. The hope of meeting after death to renew relations, offer remorse and live happily thereafter is a myth far from reality and belief. Death is no occasion to right the wrongs or compensate for our past inhuman behaviors of ingratitude Nelson Lopes Chinchinim
