Excuses of flight cancellations It is now a plausible excuse not to attend the funeral of near, dear and loved one, relative or friend The flights inwards and out bound are cancelled due to scare of spread of corona virus.”*Dekhllem modem, ailem rodnem” saying in Konkonni.* The thought of attendance to see and be with the corpse by flying across continents is not very convincing and expensive*. At least in the present circumstances the excuse, alibi is acceptable, if one did not want to attend at all. It may only lead in surge of mourners present at the funeral depending upon the popularity of the attendee. Presence at anniversary mass will be assured if unable to attend the funeral services “ .Why* wait to inscribe on the tomb stone, when the dead will neither see , read or hear” ,A wife expected emotional, sentimental reaction of her darling husband upon her death. She was shocked and numbed at his response of a fine burial. Dead are surely important, but more so the living. The visit after death is only to be present among the others and see the relatives and near ones . It may enhance the surge of crowds and mourners. Wish the visit was planned much in advance, when the sick or dying was alive to give him the comfort of presence and joy of seeing. The politicians find such occasion to be seen at large gatherings for propaganda mileage All the platitudes are singularly reserved untill death. There are no fault lines, biting criticism, while painting a rosy picture of the departed. Not a word of goodwill nor a sentence of appreciation was uttered when alive. If the gratitude, recognition and appreciation was showered when alive, definitely it would have made a difference to a worthy life. Some wait to forgive and forget the wrong on the death bed more as a guilt complex and fear of reprisal from the soul, The offering of ritualistic masses after month , six months, a year, second and third death anniversary is dictated by social customs rather than strength faith and belief. The offering of perpetual masses is another attempt to assuage guilt complex and show indebtedness. Giving alms to the poor, old aged homes, orphanages will not wipe out the ill treatment meted out, all signs of ignoring and acts of feelings of unwanted. Serving of refreshment, beverage to mourners is ill advised and not necessary. Establishing awards, grants, building of monuments, contributions towards social causes after death are other avenues to repay debts. The most expensive coffin does not convey true feelings of depths of love .The band in attendance may make the dull situations a little bearable and add to the pleasant mood change. The corpse is adorned with jewelry and precious belongings only and then to be stripped bare before burial .Some purposely hide such display to avoid fair distribution amongst the legal heirs. The absence of the son at the funeral, who had visited earlier and spent qualitative time of a month did not receive appreciative comments but set the tongues rolling .The flower bouquets, wreaths offered with the ribbons to record the wishes and attendance is outlandish. Why the ribbons are collected preserved does not make good sense. The message to avoid condolences visits is to create a sense nobility and outstanding status of the family in the society. This is in sharp contrast when standing to receive condolences after the burial ritual. A single flower offered when alive would have raised the moods and perhaps extended life with happiness. The flood of tears flow now, as if accumulated by a dam of unconcern, pent up emotions, which is a mere hypocrisy .The release of numerous obituaries only sends the dailies merrily laughing to the bank. The expenditure to convey condolences is a self propaganda to be counted and noted amongst others One obituary is all that is needed to convey the death and programme of funeral rites
Let us not burry our loved dear ones once and for all and forget forever .Some unfailing remembe*r their souls with prayers and family celebrations , recalling their invaluable service. The dead they say always walk side by side and are present with us daily and on all occasions. Let our hearts and minds serve as perpetual monuments to their memory* *Nelson Lopes Chinchinim*
