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ASSEMBLY WIT
By Valmiki Faleiro
Goa’s first Legislative Assembly (1963-1966) was her best. It featured a high
degree of
oratorical skills, biting wit and spontaneous repartee, even if hugely
one-sided. The UGP
opposition battery, with five doctors (Jack de Sequeira, Alvaro Loyola Furtado,
Maurilio
Furtado, Sebastiao Mazarello and Luis Proto Barboza), together with non-medico
worthies like Enio Pimenta and Urminda Lima Leitao, generally made mincemeat of
the
MGP side, then a shouting brigade of semi-literate party cohorts. The only MGP
men
capable of taking on the UGP onslaught were Law Minister Tony Fernandes and
Health
Minister Shrirang Karmali. Another of its gifted debaters, PP Shirodkar, had
been sent
upstairs as Speaker, whose mouth generally remains shut during debates.
The Chief Minister himself was regularly outwitted and left tongue-tied. On one
occasion,
a chagrined Bandodkar abruptly walked out during the Opposition’s rapid-fire
quizzing.
Uproar and protest sure followed. The Speaker pleaded helplessness: rules did
not
empower him to compel a minister to remain present and/or reply to questions.
Each Opposition star had his distinct manner of attack. A common denominator was
thorough homework on the issue to be debated. Dr. Loyola Furtado, for instance,
was
direct and forthright in attack. The leader, Dr. Sequeira, blended critique
with persuasion.
He had developed a style where, via supplementary questions, he virtually
spelled out all
the (better) options available to the Government. "Mr. Speaker, if as the Hon.
Minister
says, that course of action is not possible, then is this (spelling out another
option)
possible?" was Dr. Sequeira’s oft-heard line.
Save a brief respite in the Fourth (1977-79) Assembly, when the Janata Party
troika of
Madhav Bir, Dr. Sequeira and Ferdino Rebelo performed with élan, the quality of
debate
gradually plummeted with every successive house. The curtain raiser of what was
to
follow in the next quarter of a century arrived with the Fifth (1980-84) house,
when Goa’s
regional outfits gave way to national parties. From the pinnacle in the ‘60s,
Assembly wit
deteriorated to hit a nadir in recent years. In the Fifth house, mercifully,
streaks of
humour still survived.
Teotonio, son of Goa’s legendary bus transport pioneer, Paulo Pereira of
Agacaim, was
MLA intermittently from the first house. Teo was a born ‘tiatrist,’ wore
sunglasses inside
the House, and donned a queer pitch in debate. Whatever the subject of
discussion, he
adroitly skewed it to ...what else... the woes of bus owners! He pitchforked,
for example,
a discussion on the Home Dept. to police ‘haftas,’ and how these milked bus
owners dry.
PWD? Bad roads and bridges heaped added expenses upon bus owners. His most
emotive lyrics were undoubtedly reserved for the Transport Dept.
Similar was the case with Dilkush Dessai and Babai Prabhu. Dilkush so loved
trees -- for
their timber -- that he moved a bill on ‘Protection of Trees.’ Babai, like
future MGP MLA
Shivdas Verenkar, worked as cook or driver for colonial Goa’s ace forest
contractor,
Khandeaparkar. Babai now owned a huge fleet of trucks. He seldom spoke in the
Assembly, except on Civil Supplies -- he was a longstanding contractor
transporting civil
supplies from FCI godowns in Cortalim/Vasco to ration shops all over Goa!
Michael Fernandes was a demure rookie in 1980. He delivered his rare words with
head
bent down. He was once doggedly locked in argument with CM Rane, over some
problem in his Santa Cruz constituency that, according to the CM, defied
solution.
Michael insisted there was a solution. Rane finally said, "Then tell us your
solution."
Michael rose and sheepishly replied, "Speaker, Sir, it is the CM’s duty to find
solutions. If
Mr. Rane wants my solution, let him give me his chair and take mine."
Babu Naik, the perennially furious former Leader of Opposition, had a famous
panacea:
"Sack!" Maharashtra ‘deputationists’? "Sack them!" A shady bureaucrat? "Sack
him!"
The Margao MLA was truly obsessed with ‘sacking.’ Babu was once livid about the
mess
at the Dentistry unit of Margao’s Hospicio hospital. He fired several
supplementaries, in
a bid to corner the Health Minister, who kept giving evasive replies.
Exasperated, Babu
finally asked, "Tell me, how many teeth were sacked at Hospicio last year?"
One is reminded of another famous one-liner. Babu was fond of being referred to
as a
‘senior’ leader. Press handouts would unfailingly allude to his seniority, by
opening,
"Ananta (Babu) Narcinva Naik, the senior Congress leader ..." A war of words had
erupted between Babu and Young Turk, Herculano Dourado. Peeved at the constant
refrain of ‘seniority,’ Herculano one day publicly retorted, "Seniority need
not imply
maturity; it could betray signs of senility." (To conclude.) (ENDS)
The Valmiki Faleiro weekly column at:
http://www.goanet.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=330
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The above article appeared in the July 8, 2007 edition of the Herald, Goa
