This has been a feature of Goan life for more than just a couple of generations, with two important differences between then and now. a) Usually in a household of 4 or 5 siblings, no more than 1 or 2 emigrated overseas. Only a few of all Goans who left, returned to retire and die. All those ratios have since altered. b) Land was of little monetary value. That has materially changed.
There are arguments on both sides. Economic sense and family ties depending on the situation, work together or clash. There are many variables and relationship dynamics between family members that interplay. Here are some examples: 1. A majority of families do not leave proper wills that make conditions or leave legacies. 2. It is assumed that the overseas family member is well-off and the rest of the siblings need not take his or her permission to divide or dispose of the ancestral legacy. 3. Despite the law, female members are treated as of no consequence as far as property matters are concerned. 4. The male heir benefits from all the ancestral property and the female sibling has to shoulder the burden of the cost and care of the aged parent. 5. Overseas family members even when doing well, are cheap when faced with the comparatively meagre costs of a Care home or a personal support person. They’ll buy a Lexus in say Toronto, without batting an eyelid but will balk when asked to fork out a comparatively small sum to meet the parent’s Goa expenses. Psychologically, with long stays abroad, the all-important parent-child bonding becomes weak. Parents seem to depend on and embrace the local progeny more and almost ignore the ones abroad, except in times of monetary need. On the other hand there is convenient memory loss in the absent member when one needs to recall all the sacrifices and burdens shouldered by the parent in a time when money was scarce and personal love and affection was given in plenty. Ask Goanetter Cyrus Sanches for insight. He was instrumental in toning up an Aldona Care Home and has much experience of not only dealing with aged residents’ personal problems but also the vexation caused to him by their guardian offspring and by petty minded village busybodies (Goans wherever they may be, are known for undue interference and hostile know-it-all opinions). Over to you Tony Martin and Cyrus Sanches. An interesting post by FB Goanetter Tony Martin, aka Anthony Barreto of Canacona, Goa. Quote A Letter to Overseas Goans! A lot of overseas Goans who have spent all their lives abroad return home to take charge of their parents property and seek maids to take care of their bed ridden parents in 2021 at the pre-Liberation price of employment. How Incongruous? Goa is one of the favourite tourists destinations of the world well known for its legendary hospitality. It is a huge irony that many overseas sons/daughters of Goa have lost all sense of care and compassion for their own parents with the least regret. Unquote. Roland. Toronto.
