On the death of a loved one Spontaneous outpouring of grief immediately is a normal and natural reaction.Surprised , everyone ,including sworn enemies, have a word of appreciation. None rejoices or celebrates anyones demise .In fact deaths under tragic circumstances or young ones invite empathy, and sympathy . The depth of pain is felt only by very close ones, e.g. parents , siblings, husband, wife and relatives on either side.There is rush of condolences visits, permitted or not ,release of obituaries,offering of bouquets and garlands, prayers and Eucharistic masses, gifts of perpetual prayers.etc.Attending of funeral rites appears to be boundened obligation to be seen so as to avoid unnecessary rumours .Some will fly over continents to pay their last respects. Many others , close family members will have variety reasons and excuses to justify their desired absence.Even though siblings may not have been able to see eye to eye, this is the moment in time not to publicise their diffences of life time and call for personal criticism The rituals or formalities must be adhered to religiously to display public curiosity of family loyalties and bonds of relationship.Even from outside the countries funeral services of condolences funeral masses are avaiable at the click of button.Social media is open for easy access to do the needful in real time.The earlier ideas by sympathy cards is outdated and so are telegrams .The whole idea is to be seen by public , relatives as to the dead it hardly matters.Once the funeral is over the near one's are left to nurse the loss of a life time.Even then sympathy messages ,visits to the grave with flowers continues for at least 3 years.People are to be reminded by obituary notices in the first ,third year ,as dates are not important in their annual calendar.Very few recall the second year of grief. There is a custom to preserve the remains in niches at a very stiff costs.The rich may resort to this option to show their status and social standing.But rather than the nearest ones ,hardly anyone else rarely pay obeseiance and respect.Visits to niches reserved for special ocassions of anniversaries, birthdays .They lie in these niches lonely and furlon.The catholics open the graves routinely after 3 years and recently permanent graves are discouraged.No offerings of masses are officially accepted by the Church, perhaps conveying that the dead have reached their destination after being washed of their sins.It is natural for close and dear ones that after a time the mourning will decline in intensity of feeling and emotions This is good for mental health of the bereaved to return to normal state rather than pine indefinitely. The photo albums is another means to recall our departed .Donations to,charities, institutions, hospitals ,care homes ,awards,perpetual masses schemes are some avenues to perpetuate their cherished memories .The politicians immortalise themselves at public expense and society is not enamoured much about such exercises.Reigning politicians may have special supplement and number of obituary notices but that is the begining and end .Generally the pain and immense loss is restricted to the immediate family even though individual might have been a passionate social worker.Normally everybody will be permanently forgotten and after a century there will be none to recall at all.It is worth considering that how many of us even recall the names of our great parents or great great parents to whom we are indebted and obliged for our very existence to day.To extend a little further when world will end and finally disappear, all records will vanish in all their forms without a trace.Humamity may colonise other worlds to just tell about existence human race in general on planet called earth .Hence having a family is a way to propagate ourselves and leave a biological signature.Animals too leave a trace of their species through biological reproduction Sincerely speaking immortality is wisfful thinking Nelson Lopes Chinchinim
Nelson Lopes Chinchinim https://lopesnelsonnat.wordpress.com Nelson Lopes Chinchinim https://lopesnelsonnat.wordpress.com
