Worth pondering over...HOW ABOUT BEING THE RIGHT HUSBAND?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said 'How do I
know if I married the right person?'
I noticed a large man sitting next to her so I said 'It depends. Is that your
husband?'
In all seriousness she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on
your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your
spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their
idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why
it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say 'I was swept off my feet.' Think about the imagery
of that expression. It implies you were just standing there; doing nothing and
then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a
few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a
bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens) and
your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship but if you think about
your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage
when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking 'Did I marry the right
person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you
once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is
when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and
look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most
obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive
TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies
within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few
years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S
LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just
happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and
day out. That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love.' Because it
takes time, effort, and energy.. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You
have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you
can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are
also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes
you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your
marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the
laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.
Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let
walk away, who you let stay and who you refuse to let go.'
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.
