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2008 International Goan Convention
Toronto, Canada
Early Bird Discount Registration closes March 31, 2008
http://www.2008goanconvention.com/regform_print.html
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To Trust or not to Trust ?
A shattered sister came to Bailancho Saad.Her violent brother in the dead of
the night had raped her. She had complained to her mother who yelled at her
in utter disbelief. Preeti (name changed ) had a marital problem and was
staying at her mothers’s house .Her mother thought that she was having bad
dreams. Emboldened, the brother attempts again. She screams, the mother awakes
and is an eyewitness to the sexual assault. The Family honour was at
stake.Who would believe her? She was already accused of making false
allegations of torture against her husband, Now she will be accused of making
allegations against her brother. Will the mother stand by her daughter or son?
The case never got registered. Preeti had to make do with alternative
accommodation and counsellng.
A distraught young bride approaches the organization. An older relative was
sent as an escort to this young bride to complete some rituals at a temple in
another village before their family deity, so that her ailing husband could be
cured. She was drugged and raped by the relative. Will her husband and in laws
of a few months support her? Will her natal family support her? Should she risk
defamation and breakup of her marriage? She decides not to complain.
In yet another incident a minor girl goes to play with other kids in her
neighbor’s house. The mother calls out. The child does not respond, so she goes
to the house only to witness the sexual abuse of her daughter by the neighbour,
while his kids were playing outside. The mother is agitated and decides to
complain. With the child, we go to the police station to lodge a complaint. A
woman police officer painstakingly records the child’s statement. It was an
emotionally, mentally and physically, an exhausting exercise. Suddenly it
struck the mother. What if this incident triggers a fresh bout of psychological
problems in her husband? He was on medication for depression. A few hours in
the police station gave her an indication of what it entails registering a
case. We returned without putting the signature on the complaint
The list is long of sordid stories, of sexual assault by fathers, brothers,
husbands, , boyfriends, friends , teachers, doctors, religious heads, brothers
in law, fathers in law, cousins ,uncles, neighbours ,colleagues , employers,
employees, driver,. policemen, politicians etc. Many of these cases have not
come into the public domain.
Whom do we trust? Is every man a potential rapist? Should he be trusted?
If you dare to trust, be prepared for a breach of trust .If there is a breach
of trust be prepared to face the charge ‘why did you trust?’
Fiona, who made the authorities register the complaint of drugging, raping and
murder of her daughter Scarlet, faces the charge “How come a mother trusted a
friend of two months to look after her minor daughter in a foreign land, while
she went on a holiday with the other kids?
We in turn ask: ‘What is the Test for Trust? !!!
Sabina Martins
