Cheers Dears
By Augusto Pinto
Doggali - The Dog Lingo
Dears,
I can understand Doggali - the dog lingo. I can see you looking puzzled and
muttering,"Understand Doggali? Has this guy gone nuts?"
Really dears, I swear upon all the virgins I can understand and even speak
Doggali. Maybe the thwack on my head which my bitter half gave me, when I
came home the day before, swaying slightly but without doing the bazaar, has
something to do with it. But I'm not sure.
I learnt about my gift for Doggali when I took Laskar, my German Shepard,
out yesterday. In the mornings I normally take the route by the Nachinola
fields, after which I buy the bread, the milk and the paper. Here I often
come across an Italian woman who's made her home in the village, being
dragged on a chain by a half-breed named Raol, surrounded by a gang of 6 or
7 local pariahs without any leads.
These curs come charging at us, but don't come too close, and flee when
Laskar eyeballs them, for he's much too big for these mongrels. The Italian
woman then screams Ameet!! Jeetu!! Jyoteer!! ( for some reason these dogs
have very Indian names). Although the curs irritate me with their yelping
and howling and whining, I nod curtly and go my own way with Laskar.
But yesterday when we met them, I could clearly hear the chained Raol
say,"Good morning, dear Sir, do join me for brunch/ Of yesterday's leftovers
and bones to munch." Laskar replied,"I live the life of a Royal in Moira / I
don't mingle with pariahs like you are"
Then one of the bitches in the pack came close and said, "Laskar we'll give
you dog buiscuits for free / If only you join our Madam's coterie." Laskar
lunged at her with his massive jaws and it's only because I held him quite
firmly that she escaped without her head being snapped off.
As she scooted off,I said,"Laskar, I never knew you could speak in rhyming
couplets" "That's Doggali, Stoopid", he replied. I was so completely amazed
by this that I ignored the slur.
"Tell me Laskar - what's all this stuff about joining the coterie?" He
said,"That bunch of no good curs that surround the Itie woman and that fop
Raol are her coterie. They wanted me to join up." I said,"And what is this
coterie supposed to do?" Said Laskar," Well they have to generally behave in
a disgustingly sycophantic manner. They have to fawn and cuddle up to the
Italian dame, and stick their necks in the laps of her and her guests. And
they have to beg and do all sorts of party tricks."
I said,"It would be nice if you acted like that with me Laskar" He looked at
me in disdain. I said,"And what is the qualification for joining the
coterie?" Laskar replied,"Loyalty to the Italian woman and her pooch. But
nowadays, she expects them to have an M.B.A. too" "Master of Business
Administration?!". I exclaimed incredulously. "Master of Barking
Annoysomely, Dumbo", said Laskar.
"What benefit do they get being part of the coterie, Laskar?" "Oh they get
scraps and leftovers thrown at them. But these curs are also great thieves.
The moment the Italian woman turns her back, they jump up and steal wherever
they find left on the table. The Madam knows very well what is happening,
but prefers to turn a blind eye so long as they're loyal. But if she feels
they don't suck up enough, she chops off their heads and gets a replacement"
"Why did they want you to join the coterie?", I enquired. Laskar replied,"My
muscle. It's like your politician - criminal nexus, you know. These curs can
talk big, but they want someone else to do their dirty work."
"Why didn't you join them, Laskar?", I inquired. He replied,"Apart from the
fact that I have some self respect, who would look after you, you mutt?"
I tried to look grateful.
Till next time then.
Cheers (ENDS)
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The above article appeared in the May 14, 2008 edition of the Herald, Goa
