Cheers Dears
By Augusto Pinto
Coping with The Cops
Dears,
Cal the octogenarian sole proprietor cum attendant of Moira Petrol Station
was giving me my weekly dose of gupshup when Sanjeeta, the prettiest thing
for miles around, drove her little flaming red Chevy in to get a fill-up.
As she got out of her vehicle we heard her grumbling, "These cops are bekar"
"What's the problem, my sweetheart", said Cal, who for all his 80 years has
the heart of an 18 year old.
"These horrible cops have harassed me.", said Sanjeeta. Said Cal gallantly,
"What! How dare they do that! Tell me who the rascals are, and I'll show
them what's what." I looked at him doubtfully, and wondered whether those
old bones would stand much of a chance in a scrap even with an 8 year old. I
asked," What exactly did they do, Sanju?".
Said Sanjeeta. "They stopped me and stripped the dark film off my car. And
they did it like brutes." One could detect a sob in her throat.
Cal said,' That was very stupid of them. They shouldn't trouble innocent
citizens like this. Why don't they catch drunken drivers and overloaded
buses instead. I'll complain to the authorities." "Thanks Uncle" said Sanju.
"Call me Cal", said the old lecher, while I looked on in amazement. What
kind of lady killer was he 6 decades ago?, I wondered.
I said," There's going to be one hell of a prettier driver on the road
though, Sanju." She glared at me and said," Shut up you..." Sanju and I know
each other from K.G., which explains the easy banter.
Turning to the old geezer she said," I don't know what's going to happen to
my complexion, Uncle. My skin is so sensitive, you know." He replied as
smooth as a snake," Of course, dear. But don't worry; I'll get you some very
pretty curtains to put in your car." "Oh, that's so sweet of you Uncle." He
winked in my direction.
I was beginning to get annoyed with the easy triumph of the old buzzard, so
I said, "Why are you trying to break the law?" Quick to come to her defense,
Old Cal said," What's wrong if the lady wants a little privacy? I replied
sourly," If anybody wants privacy, I'd suggest they hire a hotel room. It
would be more comfortable too" Sanjeeta hissed," You - shut up, you..."
I continued unmindful," And besides the measure would help to identify
terrorists." "Bah", said the feisty female," Since when have any traffic
cops caught any terrorists? In any case nowadays terrorists are more likely
to come on bicycles than on suspicious looking dark tinted cars", she said,
as she zoomed out of Moira Petrol Station. Said Cal," My dear Gus, is that
any way o talk to a lady?"
Just then my friend Jeff rode his scooter into the station. As he switched
off the ignition he said," Bloody cops." I said, "Oh no, not another one!" "
What happened to you, Jeff", said Cal. Jeff replied," Normally I keep all my
documents up to date and always wear a helmet to avoid hassles from the
cops" I asked," So what's the problem, Jeff?"
He replied," I always do this except today, after I lost my helmet somewhere
in Mapuca. I went to meet a friend in Bastora and then turned on to the
highway to come to Moira. There I got fingered by this cop standing there
who fined me 100 rupees . But there were 5 scooterists after me without
helmets, but they just sped away. I was annoyed and asked the cop," Why
didn't you stop them and give them a challan ? Do you know what he told me?"
"What?" I asked. Jeff replied," He said, you are a mad fellow. You also
should have sped off. Since you have stopped I have to challan you." "Sounds
reasonable to me", I said, with a hearty laugh.
Jeff continued," I doubt whether any of these cops have genuine receipt
books for challaning traffic offenders. I'm pretty sure those books are fake
and only some of the money goes into the Govt. kitty. Someone should verify
whether the money collected is deposited in the Govt. treasury or shared by
these bandits?
I said," Jeff, how can you even think such thoughts about the custodians of
our law and order. Shame on you!!"
Till next time then
Cheers (ENDS)
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The above article appeared in the May 28, 2008 edition of the Herald, Goa
