Tue Jul 1 06:50:50 PDT 2008 >From J. Colaco > What is wrong with you people who want to tell everybody here about personal details of your parents, married/unmarried, sudra/chardo/brahman etc. Get a hold of yourself, guys. Do you really believe that the rest of us care enough to know this personal junk? > Tue Jul 1 21:43:50 PDT 2008 >From Cecil Pinto > You have clearly articulated what so many of us here in Goan cyberspace have been meaning to say. Some individuals are consistently using GoaNet as though it is some sort of a clinic for personal catharsis and cure. > An occasional outburst is understandable but constant whining about one's circumstances of birth and caste etc. is the sign of a sick mind. > Wed Jul 2 08:56:34 PDT 2008 >From CORNEL DACOSTA > This may be a bit late from me but I have to agree with you totally that it is a nonsense when people have to disclose personal things about themselves in public when nobody wants to know or care. > Wed Jul 2 17:51:52 PDT 2008 >From J. Colaco > 7: My problem with Monteiro's post about his mother and grandparents is based on the two disciplines I am presently immersed in. I absolutely believe that a person's confidentiality wrt matters private should be protected even after the person's death. Even the UK's current Data Protection Act is very clear about that. > But let me not digress - Here are two points I'd like you to think about: > a: I could understand IF Monteiro's(Monty) father made Monty's mother pregnant and deserted her without marrying her. That would be genuine grounds for Monty to spill his guts here. But when one realises that Monty's mother had another child with his father - what does that say about the relationship? And what does that say about the ungrateful Monty who in all likelihood needs professional help? Would you like GoaNet to be the meeting-place for such sychosomatic vomit? > Mario responds: > Jose, Cecil and Cornel, > You have made your points. I was conflicted by your comments. Now it's my turn. > The short answer to the question in the title of this thread is, "Because they chose to." > I am a little disappointed at your irritated, strongly worded umbrage in response, especially because you have all been steadfast supporters of tolerance and free speech on Goanet over the years. > I may even agree with the reasons for your umbrage at the emotional, poignant and painful disclosures by some other posters regarding the so-called castes or marital infidelities of their parents - but that is neither here nor there. > By its history and precedent, Goanet has been an open public forum for issues of interest to Goans, mostly Goa-centric, but with numerous exceptions, as long as these avoided personal abuse and the thoughts were expressed with reasonable civility. The beauty of an open forum is that members should be able to express themselves whithout worrying about the umbrage of others - who can respond and take issue if they choose to. > Leaving aside the psychobabble inherent in some of the responses in this thread, I, too, noticed that Selma's disclosures about the castes her parents were tagged with by Goan society, and had risen above, and the far more painful disclosures by John, whose life had not descended into chaos as a result, were not what we are normally used to seeing on Goanet. But, we have not walked in their shoes, and have not experienced what they obviously were forced to during their formative years. > When I read what THEY felt they had to write about issues that had to be so personal and deep-seated, my reaction was to sigh, shake my head and thank God I did not have to go through what they obviously experienced growing up. > Did they "vomit" on all of us as the title of this thread alleges irritably, or did they feel comfortable enough with us, perhaps mistakenly, to vent their innermost feelings believing they could trust us to handle their disclosures with some level of sympathy and understanding? Make up your own minds. > Being a public forum, we individually also have the right to not "care enough to know this personal junk", or to believe that this is using Goanet for "personal catharsis and cure", and that "nobody wants to know". One's right of free speech includes the corresponding right of others to not listen, care or agree. > However, for those who are not mental health professionals but businessmen, teachers or engaged euphemistically in "two disciplines I am presently immersed in" to suggest a need for psychological professional help was probably going a tad further than was really necessary or appropriate in my never humble opinion. > In his "Treatise on Toleration," Voltaire wrote, "Not only is it extremely cruel to persecute in this brief life those who do not think the way we do, but I do not know if it might be too presumptuous to declare their eternal damnation.", a sentiment that was later paraphrased as, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". > Finally, I also felt some sense of uplift in the ability of people who cope and survive, some over odds that may have laid some of the rest of us low. > So, to Goanetters of the world I say, "Go ahead and VERBALLY "vomit" if you need to and it makes you feel better. I will defend your right to do so, while I may also decide to step around it and move on." >