Cheers Dears
By Augusto Pinto
The Dumbo College Elections
Dears,
Campaigning for the Students Council Election was at fever pitch at the
Dumbo College of Magic, the premier Magic institution of India. It is
situated at Alto Pirazona in Moira.
Election days are the most exciting days of this college's calender.
Students who never attend a single lecture throughout the year, for reasons
ranging from the deviously obvious,"My great - grandmother died today,
yesterday or whenever" - to the brazen,"I have to party tonight, like every
other night, and can't get up till 12 noon," - somehow make it a point to
come and vote on Election Day.
This year the elections are a straight fight between Shushil and Grook. The
Shushil camp was in a tizzy at a council of war. Margan who had been
promised to be nominated as the college's Cultural Secretary by Shushil.,
said, "What shall we promise the students? Should we take them for a
hike?"Shushil said,"Grook has already promised them a hike with free booze
and snacks if he wins."
Grook was the nickname of the previous year's General Secretary of the
college, Caru . Elroy the Brdbrain, who was repeating the F.Y.B.Magic class
for the third year, and was famous for asking stupid questions, blurted
out,"Why is Caru called Grook?"
Shushil replied patiently,"I think it's because his father, whom no one has
ever seen, was a Greek cook on a cruise liner, where his mother was a belly
dancer." "Really?!!," said Margan sarcastically, "I thought it was short for
Great Crook." Said Shushil, "Whatever!! It doesn't matter." Coming back to
the problem at hand, he said,"Should we offer the kids a free jam session."
Elroy said,"Wow, I never knew you were so rich, Shushil." Replied
Shushil,"Arre zod'dia, don't you know Mummy is behind us one hundred per
cent?" Elroy foolishly said,"I never knew your Mom is doing well. I thought
she is a clerk or something in the Electricity Department?" Margan snapped
at him irritatedly,"Arre zod'dia, he's not talking about his Mom..." The
Birdbrain said,"Then whose Mummy..." Realising that everyone was staring at
him in irritation, Elroy thought that it was better to be ignorant, and
wiser to shut up.
Margan continued, referring to a local politician, "Babuso is funding
Grook's campaign." Elroy said,"Why should politicians interfere in college
elections? This should be stopped..." Shushil snorted,"Shushil snorted,"Arre
zod'dia, if the politicians didn't interfere, how could the Grook afford to
offer you the free beer, that you guzzle so greedily, when he wants you to
rat on us?"
Birdbrain, realizing he had committed a faux pas, changed the subject. He
said, "I've got an idea. We should threaten to go on the streets if action
is not taken against Dr. Viru Nankatai."
For those who are still not aware, Dr. Viru Nankatai is the name of the
Principal who is on compulsory leave, because he tried to sexually harass
a lecturer of the college who was young enough to be his daughter. Shushil
looked at Birdbrain with some respect. "You know Elroy, I think you have
something there. The students are getting cynical about being offered
freebies all the time. If we do as you say, the girls would feel much safer.
They would be sure to support us."
Margan who had a lot of knowledge on subjects such as these, said
cynically,"Hannh!! You think it will make any difference? Forget it. Don't
you know who manages our college? Elroy said,"The Dumbos." Continued
Margan,"Exactly. And do you know what happened at The Novo Portugal Times,
which is owned by the Dumbos, who own our college?" The Birdbrain
asked,"What happened?"
"Maanju, the General Manager of The Novo Portugal Times tried to sexually
harass a young journalist." Again the Birdbrain asked,"Then what happened?"
Replied Margan, "Nothing my friend - NOTHING. And if we bring this issue up
now, we will have the Grook opposing us, in order to ingratiate himself with
Viru Nankatai and the Dumbos. He's ready to do anything to get into the good
books of the authorities."
Confused, everyone went their own way.
Till next time then...
Cheers (ENDS)
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The above article appeared in the September 3, 2008 edition of the Herald,
Goa
